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Post by Phalon on Jun 21, 2004 23:41:44 GMT -6
No, no. I am not referring to those of us from the original Oxygen Board who, for weeks, had an entire thread filled with questions on how to fill the big green box below our names, (Avatar, it's called here).
Nor am I talking about about the administrators and moderators at the board. They were anything but OxyMorons, and were commonly referred to as OxyAngels or OxyGoddesses.
I'm talking about words strung together in a phrase that are quite contradictory.
The other night, we were at a dinner - a pot-luck type thing, and the person dishing out dessert gave everyone a "healthy helping of cheesecake". Exactly, what is a healthy helping of cheesecake? When did a healthy helping of anything become synonymous with huge portions? There is no such thing, for example, as a healthy helping of french fries. A few, perhaps, would not necessarily be completely unhealthy, (question mark on that one), but a super-sized portion, a heaping portion or a "healthy helping" is certainly anything but healthy.
Any other examples of oxymorons out there?
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Gab On Nutbread
Whooshite Candidate
By the Gods, you're beautiful!
Posts: 49
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Post by Gab On Nutbread on Jun 23, 2004 12:39:53 GMT -6
i'm not sure cause my thoughtst are very limited. *hands phalon a large chunk of nutbread* This will do you good! was that an oxymoron? it could be cause it's full of henbane! or not! Gab
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Post by Phalon on Jun 23, 2004 23:34:00 GMT -6
Mmphf. Wait...let me swallow. So rude to talk with your mouth full...
Thanks for the nutbread, although I don't think it qualifies as an oxymoron, cuz it was quite tasty. Henbane or not.
Tasty fruitcake. Now, that in my book, is an oxymoron. No fruitcake should ever be described as tasty. There is no such thing.
Lite fruitcake. Another oxymoron, no matter how much the calories are reduced. Any fruitcake could substitute as bricks, and should be used as an indestructable building material.
Nutty fruitcake. That would be a double negative. No one would ever want to be called that, with its doubly negative connotations.
I much prefer lunatic, myself.
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Post by Trix on Jun 24, 2004 5:04:33 GMT -6
*raises her hand from the back fo the class*
Oh! What about 'Military Intelligence' ?
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erco
Whooshite Apprentice
Too technologically challenged to insert a picture!
Posts: 118
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Post by erco on Jun 24, 2004 15:47:43 GMT -6
How about "constructive criticism"? This has never made a whole lot of sense to me. Build up to tear down?
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Post by Phalon on Jun 25, 2004 0:25:22 GMT -6
Yes, and Military Intelligence does not take constructive criticism very well. Or at all.
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Post by Phalon on Jun 27, 2004 22:42:44 GMT -6
Soft Rock. A literal oxymoron. Call it what it is. Crap. (Just filling in for Dobs while she's away, although taking a bit of liberty because I've no idea what kind of music she likes)
Live Bait. Again - call it what it is. Dead meat.
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Post by Gabbin on Jun 27, 2004 23:42:46 GMT -6
Live bait is bait. They aren't opposites so I beg to differ there. I was once called live bait. Just kidding.
I cannot think of anything since it all makes sense to me. I am an Oxy Moron after all.
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Post by Phalon on Jun 29, 2004 22:47:42 GMT -6
Ah yes...Live Bait. Not really an oxymoron unless you think about it too long, (and just how long is too long thinking about bait?). Just kind of ironic, I suppose, labeling something as live that is sold for the sole, (little fishing pun there), purpose of being used as bait, to be eaten.
And is there such a thing as dead bait? Or is that considered chum? Not much of a fisherperson, am I.
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Bosatsu
Whooshite Candidate
Posts: 73
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Post by Bosatsu on Jun 30, 2004 19:37:35 GMT -6
War in the name of God. It doesn't make sense as most religions teach love and non-violence.
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Post by HobsonsChoice on Jul 1, 2004 14:36:52 GMT -6
Phalon, feel free to put words in my mouth whenever you want. I'm sure anything you could pretend that I would say would be better than anything I would actually say, and it just so happens that I do think soft rock is crap so way to go. Which reminds me, I saw Joan Jett the other night and she rocked.
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Post by Phalon on Jul 2, 2004 0:13:44 GMT -6
Thanks Dobs. Putting words in other people's mouths in one of my favorite pastimes and I do it about as often as I put my foot in my own.
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Post by Phalon on Jul 4, 2004 1:22:40 GMT -6
Language is a funny thing... Following Trix's military intelligence and Botsatsu's War in the name of God, how about Peacekeeping Force - force having a dual meaning. Military strength or to achieve by strength in struggle or violence.
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Post by Lesa on Jul 5, 2004 0:58:30 GMT -6
Common courtesy... Is it really all that common? How about common sense?
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ReneeisXena
Whooshite Apprentice
"Her courage will change the world."
Posts: 102
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Post by ReneeisXena on Jul 8, 2004 15:02:02 GMT -6
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Post by Phalon on Jul 9, 2004 23:37:52 GMT -6
Working vacation.
Pfft, yeah right.
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Post by Gabbin on Jul 9, 2004 23:39:34 GMT -6
I think you just spit a bit on my sleeve, madam.
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Post by Phalon on Jul 9, 2004 23:46:41 GMT -6
Did not. I never spit. Not in public anyway. A very polite little pfft. A bit of drool, perhaps, but never spit.
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Post by Gabbin on Jul 9, 2004 23:48:08 GMT -6
A drool, you are challenging me to a drool? Pick your weapon! Straw? Watermelon seeds?
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Post by Phalon on Jul 9, 2004 23:53:32 GMT -6
Cherry pits are in season. Lemme get my pit crew ready. Pit-tooey, Pit-tooey.
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Post by Phalon on Jul 12, 2004 0:19:05 GMT -6
I suppose my siblings could be considered oxymoronic, (I called you a moron, I called you a moron. Nah-nah-nah-nah-boo-boo). My littliest brother, is the biggest out of us three. And I, being the big sister to them both, am dwarfed by both brothers. (Ok, I guess I'm a oxymoron also).
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Sept 20, 2004 0:43:19 GMT -6
I realize this one has been way down on the list for a while but I just had to jump in............How about
Alone together Virtual Reality Pretty Ugly Tight Slacks Almost Exactly Authentic Replica Black Light Spend thrift
Ok I should stop now.
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Kiwi
Whooshite Candidate
Posts: 42
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Post by Kiwi on Sept 20, 2004 19:28:56 GMT -6
One of my coworkers says 'turned up missing' instead of the usual gone missing. It irks me to no end I had a little boy ask me if we could order him a 'fast tortous'. I guess fast would be a relative thing. Those are two oxymorons that came up in my life recently.
There are also some things that I have been thinking about recently: Why are goldfish called goldfish when they actually come in many colors? Why do people bring back dead fish (PetsMart has a 14 day gaurantee on all of its critters) in a baggie of water? They are dead, they don't need to be in water. It just makes our job even more disgusting. Why do catfish look nothing like a cat? Why are pet birds so darn expensive?
-Kiwi
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Post by Freebird on Oct 14, 2004 1:16:08 GMT -6
How about "animal talk"? I have 2 black cats and my exboyfriends cat who is a tabby(I got the better half) lol Not one time have the cats told me to get up and feed them ,play , or anything. When they do they can feed their own selves.ha ha
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Post by Freebird on Oct 20, 2004 21:56:44 GMT -6
Here are a few my daughte thought of.Sick Leave Teddybear Hampsters, Relative Insanity,2 person solitar.
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Post by Freebird on Oct 26, 2004 3:53:55 GMT -6
friendly war
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Post by dixielandyankee on Oct 26, 2004 14:51:54 GMT -6
or 'friendly fire' for that matter...
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Post by Freebird on Oct 31, 2004 7:27:23 GMT -6
yeap. I guess, if it comes from us it's friendly fire .. anyone else it's an attack. Ha Ha.
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Post by Phalon on Mar 7, 2009 8:44:23 GMT -6
I'm not sure if this is oxymoronic-ish....maybe just moronic. I think it's humorously ludicrous.
LX just got her report card yesterday: all A's and one B. Next to two of the A's (classes in which she doesn't like the teachers - she calls one of them The Evil Xena) in the comment section it says, "Shows lack of effort and wastes time."
Uhm...if a lack of effort and wasting time produces an "A", what exactly would an abundance of effort and time produce? I dunno - maybe it's a Mom Thing, but it cracked me up.
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Post by stepper on Mar 8, 2009 0:21:48 GMT -6
I have 2 black cats and my exboyfriends cat who is a tabby(I got the better half) I saw a great news paper clipping showing a kitten and a guy. The ad was "Free to Good Home" and essentially, the boyfriend didn't get along with the kitten. The girl couldn't decide between them so she placed and offering up either one. Unfortunately, I never did find out which one was picked. But I don't doubt your choice. If he was foolish enough to give up his cat, he didn't deserve to have it.
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