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Post by Phalon on Feb 10, 2010 7:30:58 GMT -6
You've got your HD LCD TV....but someone got their acronyms confused and what you ended up with is a Hungry Dog Loving Curdled Dairy who Talks Verbally. Not only does his breath stink, but your constantly smelling it because he never shuts up.
I wish for a new pair of fuzzy mittens.
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Post by Gabrielle On Nutbread on Feb 10, 2010 7:35:54 GMT -6
I bow to Phalon, the master of the Corrupted Wish Game. Wish granted, Phalon! You have a pair of fuzzy mittens. Unfortunately, the insides of them are itchy, and they are impossible to take off. I wish for a pineapple pizza.
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Post by stepper on Feb 10, 2010 21:48:01 GMT -6
You've got your HD LCD TV....but someone got their acronyms confused and what you ended up with is a Hungry Dog Loving Curdled Dairy who Talks Verbally. Not only does his breath stink, but your constantly smelling it because he never shuts up. I wish for a new pair of fuzzy mittens. BOLL! I love it!
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Post by Awesome Aphrodite on Feb 13, 2010 20:28:19 GMT -6
granted, Gabrielle. but the pineapple has not been cut up, so it is just a pizza with a pineapple jammed on top of it. not edible. , sorry! I wish for a gold medal!
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Post by stepper on Feb 15, 2010 0:24:32 GMT -6
Granted! Here's your Gold Medal....Flour. What were you planning on baking?
I wish for a computer with dual 4 gig processors and a terrabyte of storage.
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Post by Phalon on Feb 15, 2010 5:54:10 GMT -6
You've got your computer with dual 4 gig processors and a terrabyte of storage.....unfortunately Scrappy touched it first. Nothing more need be said.
I wish I never had to clean a bathroom again.
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Post by EllieNeo on Feb 15, 2010 5:57:57 GMT -6
wish granted, phalon. but bathrooms no longer exist at all, meaning everyone has to find bushes to go to the bathroom behind.
i wish my laptop would stop acting up.
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Post by stepper on Feb 15, 2010 20:38:28 GMT -6
AH! It never stood a chance!
Done! So's the laptop. The sound card overheated and now the laptop just smokes.
I wish it would warm up a little.
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Seeker
Whooshite Apprentice
Posts: 133
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Post by Seeker on Feb 16, 2010 18:28:22 GMT -6
Your wish is granted, but now its a hundred and four outside and your air conditioner doesn't want to work. I wish for a new cell phone.
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Post by EllieNeo on Feb 21, 2010 20:20:47 GMT -6
granted, seeker. but your "new" cell phone is only "new" to you. it's one of these: and it has very bad reception. i wish i had a personal chef.
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Post by Mini Mia on Jul 20, 2011 21:29:39 GMT -6
Your wish is granted, but the personal chef only cooks road kill.
I wish Whoosh were more active.
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Post by stepper on Jul 20, 2011 22:36:25 GMT -6
Granted. Unfortunately, all the activity is from religious extremists insisting you convert to an odd group which insists you have pickled eggs with every meal and practice snake charming - with western diamondback rattlers.
I wish to be Renee's body guard at the next Xena Con.
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Post by Phalon on Jul 21, 2011 6:16:31 GMT -6
You've got your wish to be Renee's bodyguard, Stepper....except there was a mix up at the Bodyguard Dispatching Service, and you ended up having a night at the opera, guarding Renee Fleming's body. Though you were disappointed, she's a beautiful lady with a beautiful voice, I understand, and you actually started to enjoy yourself....
....until you tripped onstage and fell into the orchestra pit, causing the cellist to break his bow, (d@mn those bodyguard dispatchers; they forgot to tell you to put double knots in your shoelaces so you don't trip over them). The show must go on though, and therefore you spent the rest of the night dubbing as a human bow.
After the whole ordeal was over....
...are you ready? It took me five whole minutes to think of this....
...the director said to you, "Next time, Bowtie your shoe."
Dang, that was bad. The heat must be frying my brain.
I wish it wasn't so muggy outside.
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Post by stepper on Jul 21, 2011 18:18:59 GMT -6
I'm such a klutz! But at least I can grant you this wish and I'm only just sooo happy to do so.
It's no longer muggy outside. This is because I arranged for you to have off a few months so you can volunteer at a new job - at a new location to boot! You'll be working in the Pacific(!!!) studying Riftia pachyptila - the eight foot ones. It'll be quite comfortable because they live on thermal vents at the bottom of the ocean - which is why you'll not have a problem with it being muggy. (You'll be wearing a form fitting Premium Super-Stretch Titanium Jumpsuit / Wetsuit so I hope that summer diet worked. It's a sure thing that "muggy" won't be a concern.) Just so you know, Giant Tube Worms come in many colors and should be great photography subjects! I can hardly wait for THAT blog entry.
I was going to suggest the Artic since it is known for its extremely low humidity, but then you'd want to ski and the lack of ski-appropriate cemeteries might have been a source of frustration and I want you to have fun!
The squeeky whining fraying one I'm sure.
I wish for a perfect day of fishing.
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Jul 24, 2011 22:57:15 GMT -6
You've got your computer with dual 4 gig processors and a terrabyte of storage.....unfortunately Scrappy touched it first. Nothing more need be said. Pfft....I resemble that remark. I wish the last woman I had at my window today would grow a pair and tell her lazy ass punk of a son what a giant @#$% he was.
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Jul 26, 2011 19:19:25 GMT -6
Shoot...I forgot how to play.......sorry.
Here you go.....you get your perfect day of fishing...but it's a perfect day of fishing for sympathy for your stubbed toe?
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Post by stepper on Jul 26, 2011 20:02:30 GMT -6
No problem Scrappy....and the person at the window grew a pair. Unfortunately, that person was immediately attracted to you, convinced that you'd make a great partner for helping with the children, the lack of medical insurance, the dental bills, and acquisition of a new vehicle.
I wish to be lucky like the person who took a couple of odd cups into the Antiques Roadshow and found out they were worth more than $1,000,000.
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Post by Mini Mia on Jun 16, 2012 17:42:45 GMT -6
Your wish is granted, but you dropped and broke them as you handed them over and they took back their check.
I wish my wattle would shrink until totally gone.
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Post by scamp on Jun 18, 2012 2:41:54 GMT -6
I wish my wattle would shrink until totally gone. Your wish is granted but now your neck is so tight you can't speak ... and you no longer have any turkeys and have lost many of your chickens. I wish I could travel to anywhere, anytime, at the speed of light
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Post by Phalon on Jun 18, 2012 6:11:06 GMT -6
You've got your wish, Scamp. Unfortunately, the police also have an anywhere, anytime, speed of light vehicle. No amount of smiling, batting your eyes, and quoting Sammy Hagar will prevent you from getting a ticket for traveling at the speed of light in a 55mph zone.
I wish my house was clean in the snap of a finger.
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Post by stepper on Jun 18, 2012 8:48:00 GMT -6
Your wish was granted, but the snap was so loud the police showed up demanding you prove that all you did was snap your fingers which means you had to put all the dirt back. This is when you found out that both BP and LX have anti-cleaning snaps because they tried to help. Now both are whirlwinds of dust and dirt and the only thing snapping does is aggravate the neighbors.
I wish I had an inexhaustible supply of fuel for my vehicles.
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Post by scamp on Jun 18, 2012 14:37:54 GMT -6
And so your wish shall be, Stepper -- except now everything about you, your clothes, hair, house, and, of course, car now smells like a MacDonald's French fry.
Or worse yet, your cars need no fuel but you are now trapped inside Ayan Rand's Atlas Shrugged. And now that you're there, just who is John Galt?
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Post by Mini Mia on Jun 18, 2012 16:21:34 GMT -6
Your wish, Madam?
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Oct 17, 2012 20:19:54 GMT -6
I wish I had a "disapear" button for work.
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Post by scamp on Oct 18, 2012 2:39:19 GMT -6
I wish I had a "dissapear" button for work. Poof! You can now disappear from work at will. Unfortunately, half of your disappear button breaks off when a pup decides to play fetch with it. Only the front part remains, leaving you the capability to be dissed, but not to disappear. You are very, very unhappy, work still stinks, but the dogs are really, really happy. I wish all the bizarre, useless facts floating around in my mind could be converted into money.
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Post by stepper on Oct 18, 2012 21:18:57 GMT -6
Your wish is granted. The useless facts floating around are now useless monopoly money. Unfortunately, the paper is still trapped in your mind and clogs the synapses so useful factoids taking up the remaining space are realized so slowly they resemble Calypso's french scream in Pirates of the Caribbean.
I wish I could resolve a couple of the dead ends in my genealogical searches.
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Post by Phalon on Oct 19, 2012 5:00:57 GMT -6
You have your wish, Stepper, and find you are a descendant of a little known Transylvanian ruler, Glad the Inhaler. Upon discovering you are descended from royalty, though as little known as Glad was, your head swells. You have an irresistible urge to dress in tall kitchen trash bags, sniff glue, and insist your co-workers address you as "Fabula". I wish my desk was clean, with everything in its place. Oh, and here you go, Fabula.
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Post by stepper on Oct 19, 2012 20:57:57 GMT -6
Lovely. I've got it back.
BOLL! Glad the Inhaler?? BWAAA HA HA HA!! Wait. Is that a sexual reference? I'm not gay so I’m glad? Who’ve you been talking to?? What did they say? And where are the XX-Tall Kitchen bags? I don’t want to leave anything exposed. (You mentioned head swelling.) {looking in mirror} You know, this looks an awful lot like a condumb.
Oh yeah! Your wish! It has been granted. The desk is clean and everything is in its place. Except the desk belongs to Hubs not you, so it's loaded up with useful things like measuring tapes, marking pencils, battery chargers, plus oil and gas cans to add fragrance. Your stuff was relegated to the basement where the moisture destroyed all things electronic like your computer and all storage devices so your articles and backups are lost forever.
I wish someone would carve pumpkins for me this year so I don't have to do it myself.
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Post by Spock on Oct 20, 2012 12:25:07 GMT -6
... I wish someone would carve pumpkins for me this year so I don't have to do it myself. Done. Now I wish I was spontaneous enough to know what to post but not spontaneous enough to combust ...
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Oct 21, 2012 9:48:20 GMT -6
Um.......done?
What about this: The someone who carved pumpkins for Step was actually a voodoo witch doctor and he "accidentally" sprinkled some zombie powder on those golden orbs and now they have teeth and are trying to eat the neighborhood children.
And for Spock: Your lack of un-spontaneous combustion is due to your water retention. After a few days no fire but you're starting to look like the Trevie fountain.
I wish someone would make me breakfast this morning.
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