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Post by Mini Mia on May 5, 2014 0:40:57 GMT -6
Got the links from this comment, and this comment ... in reply to this comment.
By all means, add to this if you know of other videos and articles that help women to build themselves up.
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Post by Spock on May 20, 2014 16:13:45 GMT -6
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Post by Phalon on May 21, 2014 6:25:56 GMT -6
“Stop worrying so much,” Bullock said. “I don’t remember any of the moments in my life where I worried. Go find your joy. It’s not the worry, it’s not the what-ifs. It’s the joy that stays with you.”
Great advice. Might seem impossible while you're in the midst of all the worry, but it's so true.
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Post by Spock on Jul 3, 2014 21:41:46 GMT -6
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Post by Phalon on Jul 4, 2014 6:04:08 GMT -6
It's a great video in Dove's collection; there have been a lot of them over the years. I think they provide a much needed service with their Self-Esteem Project for girls, ( selfesteem.dove.us/ ) , as well as their Real Beauty campaign for women.
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Post by Phalon on Jul 6, 2014 7:01:18 GMT -6
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Post by Mini Mia on Dec 1, 2015 0:10:50 GMT -6
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Post by Mini Mia on Dec 1, 2015 0:14:25 GMT -6
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Post by Spock on Dec 1, 2015 12:38:04 GMT -6
Thanks, just sent the links to my wife. She doesn't have a Facebook account, so had to use email.
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Post by stepper on Dec 1, 2015 20:59:08 GMT -6
That ought be part of gym class for a couple years - teach them while they're young.
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Post by Mini Mia on Dec 2, 2015 0:46:39 GMT -6
Spock: You're welcome. The woman in the images was on Dr. Oz. She said that after three months of taking the course, a guy cornered her in a bar and grabbed her crotch ... and she broke his nose.
stepper: I agree. I sent the links to my niece. She works nights at the hospital. People have been attacked while sleeping overnight in the waiting rooms. It's such a shame this happens.
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Post by stepper on Dec 2, 2015 18:16:00 GMT -6
Right idea, but too high.
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Post by Mini Mia on Dec 2, 2015 18:28:27 GMT -6
I'm sure the bouncers stepped in to toss him out, and she wasn't able to finish the job.
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Post by Phalon on Dec 3, 2015 8:04:42 GMT -6
I was taught to go for the nose first. It has to do with stature and balance. Theoretically, a woman is going to be shorter than her attacker. Think about how high a woman can kick; now (Joxie), strike your arm upward over you head, palm outward - which motion is easier, and which motion to you feel the strongest doing? A knee or a kick to an attacker's groin is going to throw a woman off balance - not only because she's now standing on one leg, but also because she's typically shorter, the upward movement required to deliver the blow might not be strong enough or high enough to incapacitate the man. Additionally, an attacker can easily grab your foot, or knee to bring you down. Conversely, a straight-armed open-handed upward blow with the palm of her hand to the tip of the nose is going to deliver instant blinding pain (the blow from a palm is often stronger than a woman's fist). The attacker's hands are immediately going to fly to his face (theoretically). Then go for the groin. And eyes, throat, and instep.
I agree; I think it should be mandatory, actually. When I was on the swim team in high school, our coach taught all us girls some basic self-defense moves - including how to flip someone who grabs you from behind (I thought it was pretty cool that a 98 pound girl could flip a 200 pound man). After all these years I still remember them.
LX was on the closing shift which ended between 11 and midnight at DQ since she started there. More than a few times she's called me walking home saying that "some creeper" was following her. She'd either ask me to come get her, or stay on the phone with her until she got home depending on how far she was away. The neighbor lady said her teenage daughter often does the same thing - and she busses tables at a restaurant/bar so she walks home even later than LX.
I taught the girls including BP, "the moves" I knew. When I walked them slowly through the flip (except the actual flipping part), none of them thought it would actually work, so I had LX come at me "real time", and I completed the move....only I didn't realize how light she was. She flew halfway across the living room!
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Post by Spock on Dec 3, 2015 9:14:54 GMT -6
There is an added advantage of a palm strike to the nose of an assailant. There is the possibility that, if hit just right, that the nose bone will be broken off and driven back into the brain. Extremely uncomfortable in the least ...
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Post by stepper on Dec 3, 2015 18:55:40 GMT -6
I wasn't trying for specific attack vectors, but if we're going there..
Any action requires a quick analysis - your first move is your best chance since it will, for the most part, be a surprise. Go for what is, in that flash moment of assessment, the most vulnerable/effective option.
Eyes – If they can’t see you, they can’t hit you. Temporarily blind them so you to take a secondary action; if done properly it can cause permanent blindness.
Throat – one of the most vulnerable areas - there are two areas to focus on.
First, the Adams Apple – collapse the attacker’s airway and literally kill them with one strike. Second, the soft area where your throat meets your collarbones - temporarily cause your opponent to lose his breath.
Nose – A Palm strike (or punch) to the nose can have a devastating effect on your attacker - it probably won’t immobilize them, but it may be enough to cause them to retreat. A well-executed strike to the nose will cause an immense amount of pain and cause the eyes to instantly fill with tears. As Spock noted, driving cartilage into the brain can be a mortal blow.
Groin – A good kick to the groin can cause a man to instantly drop to the ground. Just remember that this target is usually the most well-guarded and may be difficult to strike.
Knee Caps – The Kneecaps are extremely vulnerable to attack and can be easily dislocated or broken. A kick to the side of the knee can also cause a huge amount of damage.
Feet – Stomping on an attacker’s feet probably will not end the fight, but it can cause a substantial pain. Foot stomps are used to escape a hold but can also give you time.
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Post by Mini Mia on Dec 3, 2015 20:59:39 GMT -6
Yikes! I hope she didn't land too hard.
I thought of that when watching Dr. Oz.
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Post by Phalon on Dec 4, 2015 6:37:28 GMT -6
Eeew. Eeew, eeew, eeew.
I read somewhere once, that many women are somewhat timid when using force against an attacker - they hold back because they don't want to hurt the person too much.
It sounds illogical, but if I think about it, I honestly don't know if I could gouge out someone's eyes, or strike a person in the nose with enough force to drive their nose bone into their brain.
Something I definitely never want to have to put to the test.
No, thank goodness we had cleared a big space of furniture in the living room, and tossed pillows around. The look on her face though! I don't know who was more surprised - her or me!
I wish I could find a video online of how to do this - you don't think it would be, but it's amazingly easy to perform. Kind of along the lines of what Stepper said though, it wouldn't be the first thing I'd consider doing if I was being attacked.
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Post by stepper on Dec 4, 2015 18:20:52 GMT -6
I know, but when you train/practice, you can do the strike before you think about it.
I used to play ping pong a lot. I wasn't going to be on an olympic team but I was a decent opponent. In playing as much as I did I found frequently that moves and counter moves were often instinctive instead of planned and played. Removing that need to think something through and allowing instinctive reactions was much, much, better.
Train, practice the strikes even if on your own, and if the moment comes when you need to do something your body will know what to do and will do it faster than you believe possible. And it'll do them with more strength than you thought you had.
The point of the strike you're talking about is to kill (and if not to at least cause extreme pain) - in self defense of course - but killing someone is, in my book, preferable to what that person intends for you. If they're that close, they are not looking for a Sunday walk in the park. You're SUPPOSED to be able to defend yourself - there's nothing wrong with surviving even if more extreme measures are necessary.
I would hope not, but I'd also want you and the kids to be able and willing to do what you have to do.
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Post by Mini Mia on Dec 4, 2015 23:49:09 GMT -6
I would probably be more apt to cause severe harm if someone I loved was with me. Why is that I wonder? Aren't I just as important?
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Post by stepper on Dec 5, 2015 12:07:20 GMT -6
Well, "I" think you are.
I attempted a 3 second drill that became an exercise if futility. Whenever I used the word defense I was confronted by gazillion hits on sites that were pro or anti gun ownership.
Since that's not what we're discussing, I'm reminded of the stories of parents who have lifted vehicles off of children, saving their lives. Doctors generally dismiss these stories because there are no clinical studies proving under controlled conditions that it's possible. This proves some people can be intelligent and still experience moments of abnormally faulty reasoning processes. What some people experience under extreme conditions is called hysterical strength. Some say it's the result of the body being flooded with adrenaline, some attribute the super human strength demonstrated by otherwise normal people as an unconscious (and therefore uncontrolled) moment of focused Chi, or perhaps it's both, or Guardian Angels. Whatever it is, people are capable of remarkable feats; these are usually inspired by an event involving a threat to someone else as opposed to a fight or flight reaction. I personally am convinced that these situations are id driven (allowing for chemistry to also be a player here) and can thus be realized whether the situation is personal or external.
When it comes to defending yourself, physically, you are just as capable as if mom, your sister, or anyone else was threatened. What really triggers the hysterical strength reaction? I don’t know and am not in a position to find out. It’s enough for me to know it’s really possible.
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Post by Mini Mia on Dec 5, 2015 21:24:07 GMT -6
Thank you. I think that I need to train my mind that I am just as important as the ones I love. After all, they'd want me to do whatever I had to do in order to stay alive ... and prevent them from burying me.
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Post by Mini Mia on Dec 30, 2015 2:22:08 GMT -6
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Post by Phalon on Jan 2, 2016 11:35:22 GMT -6
This thread might not be the best fit for this topic, but it is about building confidence, and does involve a young woman. I came across this article the other day - a high-school girl makes a video after a friend of hers was being cyber-bullied. I watched the video, and thought it was a well-done, mature way to respond, and sends a great confidence building message to youth who may be suffering from lack of self-esteem due to being bullied either on-line or in person. I actually thought, Wow! What a powerful message this young woman has just sent to those who may need to realize that confidence starts from within yourself, and hateful words from others shouldn't tear you down. gma.yahoo.com/girl-creates-powerful-video-message-friend-falls-victim-131240095--abc-news-lifestyle.html#Then I got disgusted. I should probably say that I was never bullied or was a bully in school, and neither are the girls, so my opinions aren't from personal experience - but I do know that cyber-bullying is a big deal now; it is grounds for expulsion and is a criminal offense. It was the reader comments that disgusted me (I should know by now not to bother with them, because it seems the majority of comments on on-line articles are always negative). The excessive the name-calling, verbal bullying, and advocating of physical violence in comment section wasn't ignorant teenage stupidity...the comments are all made by adults! Adults calling today's youth wimps, pansies (who even says that anymore?), sissies, cry-babies and whiners, because back-in-the-day fists were used to solve bullying problems and getting pounded or pounding another made us stronger in the end; and kids today need to toughen up. Seriously? We are telling them that physical violence is an okay way to deal with things? Or a ton of this: "Get off the Internet and you won't be cyber-bullied." Doesn't work that way, folks. A person can have no social media account at all and still be a victim of bullying. All it takes is for one person to start an on-line vicious rumor about someone, and it instantly goes out to hundreds of people, and from there thousands more. The victim shows up to school the next day, and wonders what the hell happened that made them the butt of the entire student body's joke. Take a photo on your phone, create a fake on-line profile of that person, and you've got a whole other way of torturing them by posting all kinds of crap that "they" wrote. It happens, and to the victims, it's devastating. I believe that as adults, we need to realize the younger generations' issues may not be coincide with our youth experiences, but we shouldn't dismiss them as not being valid concerns. How are we to raise a society of self-confident, responsible adults if we keep tearing them down when they're young?
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Post by stepper on Jan 2, 2016 14:56:12 GMT -6
I'm surprised you read them, and equally surprised that they weren't suppressed. Children can't help themselves because they expect that they will not be held accountable, and so let hate fly.
Affluenza boy is an example - I got drunk and killed four people but I'm not responsible because I was brought up rich and was never responsible for anything. So they gave him the most unbelievable sentence - probation for ten years and that includes no alcohol. What's he do? He misses a probation meeting - too busy to bother to show up for a simple keep out of jail meeting with his probation officer. Well it turns out that might be a problem so he gets mom to throw him a going away party where he's filmed drinking. Oops. Another problem. The he illegally leaves the country - gets his good ole mom to drive him to Mexico so he can hide from responsibility. Except it didn't work. Now he's in a Mexican jail pending return to the US. The only question is: will they move him to adult court where the judge will treat him like he killed four people and then repeatedly broke the law, or will they leave him in juvy where he'll get detention for a few months?
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Post by Mini Mia on Jan 2, 2016 19:55:06 GMT -6
I was bullied. Short, cross eyed, and my eyes jerk back and forth due to the muscles fighting each other. If I hadn't been raised to believe that suicide is a sin, I'd probably have killed myself in grade school. (Never occurred to me to sneak one of my Dad's guns to school and shoot my tormentors.) I figured this world was better than hell. Plus, Dad was verbally abusive, and both parents betrayed me to my peers, who used their comments to further humiliate and bully me. My parents didn't believe in bragging ... so when all the other parents would start in on how great their kids were, mine would tell all the stupid things we did, and how inept we were. Things my tormentors used as ammo to hurt and inflict even deeper emotional/spiritual wounds.
Since killing myself was not an option, I used to wish I had never been born. I'd write my wish down in my notebook, then tear up the page and throw it away. I forgot to one day and Mom found it. She got on to me and told me she never wanted to catch me writing that ever again. I made sure to destroy what I wrote as soon as I had written it.
I was taught, "Sticks and Stones ... ". Dad taught me how to throw a punch, and where best to hit. He told me he better never catch me starting a fight, and he better never catch me running from one. He'd kick my a$$ if I did. All I needed was a good bluff. The bully was more afraid of me than I was of him, and if I held my ground he'd run off and leave me alone.
Dad would tell me how being short was better than being too tall. I had it so much easier than they did, as they were even more miserable than I was. I guess bullying made me more sensitive, and careful of the feelings of others. But I also think it stuffed me into a shell where I now feel most comfortable. It's probably why: I came ... I saw ... I went home.
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Post by Phalon on Jan 3, 2016 10:01:04 GMT -6
I like to read positive things in the news, and I guess I thought the comments would be positive too. Some were suppressed, and some weren't that probably should have been - such as the comment calling the girl in the video fat and ugly (two of the words she'd written on her face), and another saying the video would have been better if she'd panned down to her breasts. And these are comments made by adults.
It's irony at it's worst - a kid makes an anti-bullying video aimed for other kids, and adults, who are supposed to...well, act like adults, do exactly what the video is against.
That's a very generalizing statement. I don't think the majority of kids believe they're not responsible for their actions, but do things impulsively without thinking through the consequences first. Medical studies seem to support this - the part of the brain that regulates impulses is not developed in children, even by the time they reach their teenage years.
That's an extreme example, not of how kids behave or think, but how wealth can create a sense of entitlement in any age group.
I'm sorry Joxie, that you had to suffer through that as a child. What a horrible way to have to grow up. It was bad enough that you were bullied at school, but have your parents add to the problem is appalling. Home is supposed to be a safe haven, where you go for support.
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Post by stepper on Jan 3, 2016 14:51:50 GMT -6
Yes, I know, but not necessarily inappropriate - I meant it in reference to responses to the particular situation you were addressing (youtube) as opposed to society as a whole. But I'm of the opinion that we are seeing the results of generations of "me first" and those with an overdeveloped sense of entitlement.
Is it? Or is it symptomatic of where our society is headed? I read something a while ago that compared 100 years ago to 2015. Some things were better - like education and health - and some weren't - like in 1905 there were 230 murders across the entire US. In 2015 Chicago (yet another extreme example?) had 2,986 violent acts with 411 murders. We have a society where children murder children and parents have abrogated their responsibilities as parents to unequipped schools, and allow their children freedom to do as they please at all hours without consequence. To be sure, not ALL parents are irresponsible - not ALL children experience this - but too many do and it's a growing trend.
What about Tyshawn Lee? A nine year old boy who gang members intentionally lured into an alley and killed him. His heinous crime? He was playing basketball and was the son of someone associated with a gang his murders didn't like. Extreme isn't quite so extreme when worse things keep happening.
My mother was cross eyed too Joxcee, and grew up in a time where any difference was an object of ridicule, but she had a supportive family so it's not quite the same situation. All I know is that in her forties she had it fixed - I believe she did this in the vain hope that it would somehow keep dear old dad from wandering around like a cat in heat. It didn't work of course, but like you, she forged ahead with her life. She found ways to cope with whatever came her way and helped others the same way you help your mother. You have a core of steel Joxcee - what happened to you wasn't fair by any means but you've done pretty well for yourself since. You have every right to stand proud.
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Post by Mini Mia on Jan 3, 2016 20:51:12 GMT -6
Thanks. Sharing seems to help me get past theses hurts. I guess 'confession' is indeed good for the soul. Been holding it in for far too long.
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Post by Phalon on Jan 4, 2016 9:26:04 GMT -6
We are the "Me Generation" - the term was coined in reference to us, the Baby Boomers. The responses I was referring to came from "us" on the Good Morning American article I posted the link to (not Youtube), many of which began 'When I was a kid back in the 50s (60s, or 70s)...". In reference to your statement "children can't help themselves because they expect that they will not be held accountable, and so let hate fly" it would seem "adults" could be substituted for the word "children" and the statement would be just as accurate.
There'd almost have to be some type of per capita comparison for that statistic to be as extreme as it sounds; the current population of Chicago is double that of the population of the entire country during the early 1900s. Yes, it is certainly an increasingly more violent society now than it was then, but the extremity of violence isn't something that's new to this generation...
Remember Emmett Till? He was the 14 year old Chicago kid who was brutally tortured and beaten beyond recognition in Mississippi for allegedly flirting with a white woman in 1955. The men charged were guilty without a doubt, but were acquitted of the murder by an all-white jury. They later sold the detailed account of the torture and killing to a magazine (they were protected by double-jeopardy laws). Though (for money) they willingly admitted they killed Till, they didn't think they were guilty of a crime; they felt entitled because of supremacy (similar to 'Afluenza Boy' and his family's wealth).
Sad but true. It's not just regulated to today's youth though, which is what I'm trying to say. I hear this all the time from "the older generation", "The problem with kids today is they're (chose one or more of the following) too apathetic, too lazy, spend too much time on their computers, phones, playing video games, have no contact with the "real world", don't care about school, don't care about anyone but themselves, etc, etc, etc. Are the statements true or just assumptions? The problem with such broad generalizations is that many of the people making the comments (as I'd bet is true of many of the commenters on the Good Morning America article) aren't today's youth, don't know today's youth, and have no contact with anyone outside of their own generation.
The people making these types of comments would probably be surprised to know (but also probably don't care) that out of the Millenial generation (which encompasses teenagers up to age 30), "96% believe that they can and will do something to change the world, 81% have volunteered in the last year, 77% have helping others as a top priority in life, 87% feel personally responsible for caring for the environment, 65% have college degrees - the most educated generation ever, 79% want to work for a company/corporation that desires a positive influence on society".
Given the above statistics, hopefully so.
It's a shame you've felt you've had to wait for this long, Joxie. Big hugs.
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