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Post by Phalon on Mar 30, 2016 6:39:40 GMT -6
Very pretty arrangement, Stepper, and very thoughtful. (Just an off-the-wall observation, but almost all the flowers you mentioned - hyacinths, roses, and tulips - are on the new botanical art stamps. Pretty stamps; I hate boring ones.)
I've, and as far as I know neither of my brothers, has ever been to Mom and Dad's graves, except for Dad's grave once, to put his ashes to rest...which was more than a year after he died (funny family story that). I don't know why Mom chose that cemetery, except that it was fairly close to the house (they at one time had plots in a beautiful, old downtown Detroit cemetery). The cemetery they're in is ugly; there are hardly any trees, and the grave markers are all the same - flat metal markers that can be mowed over. Flower arrangements or plantings of any kind are not allowed. It's just so sterile feeling.
* * *
I got a call yesterday that tugged at my heartstrings; it was a recorded message from the high school that actually brought a tear to my eye. They are having a drive for students at the school that can't afford (or their parents can't afford) personal items such as soap, deodorant, toothbrushes, feminine hygiene products, and such. Seriously?! So many students don't have these basic items, that a mass recording was sent? Sad, sad. I guess I'm just naive - for years Xena Sis has collected sample-sized personal care items from hotels she's stayed in or whenever there's a sale at the store, and makes up little "gift bags" to keep in a closet at her church for the youth group teens. I suppose I just thought it was just a nice little gift, not something for which there was a real need.
I went out and got male and female deodorant, manly scented and female scented soap, packs of disposable razors for the guys, and feminine hygiene products for the girls - a half dozen of each. Everything I got was well-known brand name products (no teen wants to be embarrassed for using "Family Dollar" brand deodorant for example, in the locker room after gym), everything was full-sized as opposed to sample-sized (except for the panty-liners were are "on-the-go" packages),and most everything cost a dollar. The exception was the razors, which were $1.75 each for a five-pack. I was going to get female razors too (what teenage girl wants to change in gym class with hairy armpits and legs), but the same brand (Bic), the same razor (Duo-blade, except the handle was pink), and the same number of razors in a package was almost $4.00.
And then of course, there's the "tampon tax" that's been all over the news lately.
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Post by stepper on Mar 30, 2016 20:19:19 GMT -6
I bought a sheet of them for Steppet. She insisted that she needed four more 'cause she likes them too.
Does it seem odd to you? Mom was one of those people who tended the cemetery plots every so often, sometimes after church on the way home, and once in the cemetery, I was allowed to steer. Not drive, I wasn't old enough, but I remember steering the car. Anyway, she'd make sure things were cleaned up and that the site was maintained. I told you about Jeffrey and how hard she took it. I think at least partly it was a way for her to feel like she was staying in touch. And now that you mention it, I don't remember either of my brothers or dad going along on those little side trips. I know that she'd go check them out a couple times a year - but particularly in the spring, fall, and especially before Christmas. Sometimes she'd take flowers too, but not often.
In any case, I inherited the habit. I don't get to go because I'm way too far away, but I picked up the thing about it being a way to sort of stay in contact. And, I prefer the grave sites appear maintained and visited as opposed to abandoned. In fact, I also have a couple satellite pictures of the cemetery, zoomed into where the tombstones are located. The pictures are free on Google. You can pretty much get a good picture of almost anyplace you want. For example, I also have my home and my childhood home. The one of my home has my truck in the driveway and you can even see the swing in the front yard.
~~~~~~~~~~
I quite agree. Children, deprived of basic necessities, in this country no less, seems offensive somehow. In this area, before school starts each year, they have what they call "Stuff the Bus". People donate all kinds of supplies, but especially school supplies. Paper, pens, pencils, notebooks, and it wouldn't surprise me if they also got personal supplies purchased with cash donations. The main grocery chain is also very philanthropic - they are always involved in making donations to these events; plus the Thanksgiving and Christmas food drives, and the local food banks.
personal preference - deodorant isn't supposed to be scented. I want to stop the stink, not hide it.
What's with that? To be honest, I'd have purchased more of the guy razors because I see no logical reason for the cost difference.
I'm sorry, but I had to Google this to find out what you're talking about. It makes sense to me that it ought be tax exempt, but evidently this is true in only a very few states. It's not in the food category, but it's as essential as underwear, so why is it a taxable item?
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Post by Phalon on Mar 31, 2016 7:09:49 GMT -6
They are very pretty; the lady at the post office recommended them to me. Kinda funny, I guess, but she knows me on a first name basis (at least by the more formal first name on my debit card), and knows to show me "pretty" stamps as opposed to the basic flag forever stamp because I always used to ask to see what's new.
The cemetery here, with all its winding, hilly roads intersecting one another, is where I took LX to practice driving before she took driver's ed.
Not visiting my parents' graves doesn't seem odd to me at all; their ashes are there, but Mom and Dad aren't there, if that makes sense. There's nothing at that cemetery that I associate with my memories of them in any way - it's just metal plates on the ground with their names and dates on them, like hundreds, maybe thousands of the same plates only with different names. I shouldn't have said the cemetery is ugly - it's just like a park, really, with groundskeepers that mow the lawn, which is why all the grave markers are flat. I suppose it's a peaceful place, but for me, I've got no emotional connection with anything there.
The aerial view of our house is very old; the street view is more recent though it was taken maybe six years ago....and LMAO. I probably shouldn't mention this, because it shows my sometimes fly-off-the-handle temper, and at the time it was anything but funny. It wasn't even until last year that I knew it was there, when BP brought it to my attention because she had to do some kind report for school. If you look at the porch in the photo, there is some stuff on the front steps; if you zoom in, you'll see it's a dumped laundry basket with its contents strewn down the steps. If the photo had been taken minutes later you would have seen not just a spilled laundry basket on the porch, but much of the contents of LX's room strewn across the front lawn. If there was audio attached to the photo you probably would hear me screaming "If you can't bleepity-bleep come home at night, you can't bleepity-bleep live here, and if you like it so bleepity-bleep much over at his bleepity-bleep house, you can bleepity-bleep leave, and go live with the bleepity-bleep bleepity-bleep!!!!" What are the chances that the day I get furious with LX for staying at the Loser's house all night, and in a rage, throw her stuff out the door, Google decides to take pictures. Of course, LX has not lived this down since BP discovered it - her dirty laundry on display for the world to see.
Same here, but we're adults. Teenage like the smelly-stuff - scented is too mild a word; some of the scents stink! Next time you're in the grocery store, take a whiff of AXE deodorant for men (and the preference of most teenage guys); the scent is so strong it'll probably make you gag. Bit of trivia: the title of Nirvana's song and the anthem for a generation, "Smells Like Teen Spirit", came from a female friend of Kurt Cobain's saying he smelled like Teen Spirit. Cobain thought it was cool - that it meant he was some kind of representation of teenage freedom. She was literally talking about the way he smelled though - "Teen Spirit" is a deodorant for girls.
Oops, gotta run. Later, Taters.
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Post by stepper on Mar 31, 2016 19:52:01 GMT -6
The postal people on Randolph switch out with Universal City once in a while. As a result, a couple of them know me on a first name basis.
What did you think of the Lunar New Year with the rose on it? Steppet also likes the Celebrate stamp and a few others; she mails out a lot of stuff.
That's not what I was asking - I meant did it seem odd to you that I or other people do visit grave sites? You're not uncomfortable in cemeteries as evidenced by our running "inordiante amount of time" comments, so if you're willing it's a generalized question. I have to admit I wasn't expecting your comments that you haven't been there. Maybe you've already answered my question though - you said "I've got no emotional connection with anything there." and that is certainly enough of an explanation.
I have trouble picturing you getting that angry even though you clearly did. And, what timing! I've heard they got some pretty strange things in their pictures. At least no one will know the story by looking at the picture.
So do the ferral cats out back. I haven't seen one or two for a couple days. I'm beginning to think there are kittens in the neighborhood.
If I see it, I'll whiff it, just so I know what NOT to get. I actually have two 'scents' that I tolerate. Old Spice and Brut - as you might surmise it's because someone I know likes those.
"Keep 'em smiling if you can."
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Post by Mini Mia on Apr 1, 2016 0:59:06 GMT -6
My Mom's Mom often said not to bother coming out to the cemetery to visit her grave when she's gone, because she wouldn't be there. So, no point in visiting someone when they're not 'home.'
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Post by Spock on Apr 1, 2016 8:42:36 GMT -6
Why are the names covered over on the tombstone?
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Post by stepper on Apr 1, 2016 17:17:26 GMT -6
Habit. That's for Bro-1 and SIL. They're still living so I automatically blocked the names. I know that excising the last name should be sufficient, but at least partly because of my job, it isn't.
There are two very strong opinions about what happens and when. I was raised to pretty much accept your grandmother's statement. I've read much more that says it doesn't work that way. I don't want to start a contentious discussion and don't think this is the place for this kind of discussion so I'll stop with that. Oh yeah, there are those who believe nothing happens - when you're dead you're done; they reject an afterlife. I guess that makes it three opinions.
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Post by Phalon on Apr 2, 2016 7:28:52 GMT -6
Oh, no - not at all. I just meant that I don't feel any connection to my parents' grave sites due to the nature of that particular cemetery - as I mentioned, flowers, plantings, trinkets, statuary - nothing personal is allowed to be placed on the grave sites, and therefore I feel there is nothing personal to remind me of Mom and Dad. I have no idea honestly though, if I'd feel differently if their ashes were in a cemetery that wasn't just acres and acres of metal name plates in the ground; no way to know because it's not the case. I do however, feel an emotional connection to Mike out on the end of the lighthouse pier; it's where we let his ashes go.
Cemeteries house the dead, but they are really places for the living - whatever a person's beliefs are about the afterlife or even if there is one, they are places people visit to grieve, to find comfort, to remember, and even to celebrate the people they've loved.
I'm the same. Sometimes I'll park my bike when I'm riding around the cemetery here, and grab a watering can from one of the spigots throughout the place, and do a bit of watering and maybe deadhead some of flower plantings if I notice a grave site looking kind of neglected.
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Post by Mini Mia on Apr 2, 2016 21:48:16 GMT -6
If the souls stay with the bodies, then where are the souls of those who are ash? I guess there's only one real way to find out. I can wait.
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Post by stepper on Apr 2, 2016 21:49:54 GMT -6
Please wait on that answer. There's no need to hurry up to find out.
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Post by Mini Mia on Apr 2, 2016 21:52:11 GMT -6
No. There isn't. I plan to take my time about it.
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Post by stepper on Apr 2, 2016 22:19:26 GMT -6
From the perspective of the cemetery, I understand that because it makes it so much easier for them. My problem with that is that the grave site isn't for them.
An excellent explanation. For many people, that means a specially engraved tombstone, leaving some form of memento, or flowers for some special occasion.
some people I know were trying to fulfill a tombstone picture request in Find A Grave. Turns out there wasn't a marker at all, so they got the person with the sexton's book to show them where the grave was and then implanted a vase with a silk rose where the headstone should have been. That's the picture they sent. I'm sure it meant a lot to the people who had asked for a picture of the marker.
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Post by Phalon on Apr 3, 2016 19:10:31 GMT -6
The cemetery Mom and Dad are in is extreme in that they don't allow anything at all, but I'd bet there are very few cemeteries that don't have some type of regulation about what loved ones can and can't do on a grave site. At the nursery, I help more people than you would probably imagine with grave site memorials, whether it be a piece of statuary, a planter arrangement, or something more permanent like trees, shrubs, or perennials. You've always got to tell them to check with the cemetery first, because all of the regulations are different. Cemeteries too, are typically inhospitable places for new plantings; typically the soil is poor, and there's no irrigation. Last thing you want to do is have something die that's been planted as a memorial for your loved one. Expectations are often unrealistic, and I gently try to steer them to something more suitable.
Though it wasn't to be planted in a cemetery, one of my most memorable such exchanges was a couple who came in wanting a memorial tree for a family member - it was their beloved beagle, who died of old age. They wanted a flowering dogwood - the "dog" in the name was one of the main reasons. Where they wanted to plant it however - a hot, dry, windy site, with poor soil - meant the tree would probably fail. I asked some questions about the beagle, and they gushed on about what a great dog he was, and how he was so old, his howl often ended sounding more like hacking. Ah-ha! Stories like that help make my job easier. I recommended a hackberry - a tough, native tree that grows in adverse conditions. They loved the idea, as weird as it was.
That was years ago; last year they came back to the nursery. I didn't recognize them as the people I'd sold a hackberry to because their dog made hacking noises, but they remembered me. They'd sold their house, and wanted another hackberry for their new house.
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Post by stepper on Apr 4, 2016 17:20:20 GMT -6
There’s one of those near here. They allow only flowers and only for a limited number of days after a funeral. I don’t want to say it seems sterile, that’s not the right word. But it’s certainly uninteresting – just this side of barren – and not inviting the way you’d want it to be if you were of a mind to go visiting.
I understand this because I’ve been that attached to our pets. Often as not, I still call them our kids.
How nice that you know your advice not only worked for the plant; it meant, and means, quite a lot to the people purchasing the plant. So much so they came back to you for the new tree
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Post by Phalon on Apr 7, 2016 7:05:18 GMT -6
How attached are you to what was at one time attached to your pets?
Dateline MWWTFN (My World WTF?! News): yesterday a woman came into the nursery with her dog - a five-month old miniature bulldog. She was on her way to take the dog to have testicle implant surgery; the dog had already been neutered, and the woman didn't like the way he looked from behind because 'you can't tell he's a male dog'. Seriously?!!! WTF??!!!
I drilled, and apparently it's a real thing - the implants are called Neuticles, and come in a variety of sizes for different breed dogs, and other animals. Cosmetic surgery on animals to please their owners; truly frivolously unnecessary (totally nuts!) as far as I'm concerned - . Apparently though, implants are commonly used as a solution to convince many people to neuter their pets.
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Post by stepper on Apr 7, 2016 18:38:10 GMT -6
I had to read that three times before I got what you were saying.
Ya know, if the vet had a sense of humor, that dog would come back with working parts - taken from a neutered cat.
Couldn't resist could you. It was like a dangling participle; a grammatical faux pas otherwise known as a ‘dangler’, and ‘unattached’ - an object not properly joined to the subject. And you just reached out and took hold of the problem as no one else here can. I'm so proud of you!
And it give the pet something to lick which keeps them from wanting to do the same thing to your face.
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Apr 9, 2016 8:00:38 GMT -6
*sigh.....
So I have been sitting here staring at my screen for like ten minutes and have erased what I have written like three times. People are dumb. And rich people are even dumber. I have been aware of them for a long time and I suppose they serve a purpose. Show animals are required to be unaltered to compete. So I suppose in the instance in which a dog needed to be neutered for health reasons and the owner still wanted to show. Yeah they're dumb. Just spay and neuter your pets people. And instead of throw all that money down the drain why not give it to your local shelter so they can spay or neuter more pets.
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Post by stepper on Apr 9, 2016 15:44:32 GMT -6
Unfortunately, not all the pets that should be spayed or neutered, receive that treatment. This is also true of people.
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Post by Phalon on Apr 10, 2016 7:55:17 GMT -6
I'm honestly surprised this hasn't been taken up by animal rights activists; all it is is cosmetic surgery for animals, and it just doesn't seem right to me. Then again, I never understood why some people refuse to spay or neuter either.
Oh! People who pay to have fake testicles implanted into their pets should be required to give an equal dollar amount to their local shelter.
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Post by stepper on Apr 10, 2016 13:43:44 GMT -6
Because of the cost - or what I expect the cost to be - I don't believe that'll fly in any state. But it's not entirely a bad idea. What if veterinarians charged a 'shelter tax' where the money was for spay/neuter programs, and for no kill shelters?
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Apr 11, 2016 7:43:17 GMT -6
Unfortunately (it has been my experience) there are a whole lot of people who do not like their shelters for whatever reason. I doubt that would fly here. It's not a bad idea though. Its better than the tax we have on hotels and car rentals that is used to pay for the baseball stadium.
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Post by stepper on Apr 11, 2016 19:03:29 GMT -6
Well they're just stupid.
A one cent sales tax on beer should about do it, don't 'cha think? Or candy maybe?
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Post by Phalon on Apr 11, 2016 20:42:03 GMT -6
How about the company who makes Neuticles donating a portion of their proceeds to the shelters, Humane Societies, or the ASPCA? How about the inventor himself; the guy has got to be wealthy as sh!t. The company also makes a perma-perky ear implants so your dog's ears don't flop unnecessarily (eye-roll). You can also buy genuine Neuticals merchandize from their website - t-shirts, ball caps, BBQ aprons, etc. And get this - keychains and necklaces made from actual Neuticles. Oh yes, Folks, the website boasts of the millions of pets they have saved worldwide from being euthanized due to the dog and cat overpopulation because people refuse to subject their pets to "emasculation". He's even got a 7-book contract deal. Here's a guy who's positioned to actually make a difference through donations.
Yet nowhere on their extensive website of how great of a product Neuticles and accessories are, how great of a service they are providing, and how great of an animal lover the inventor is for doing such a great service, does it mention a single dollar donated. A more-than two minute drill reveals nothing that he or his company does in the way of philanthropy of any kind. Pfft.
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Apr 12, 2016 7:41:57 GMT -6
I suppose.....in true Trump-esque he supposes he's already doing the community a service.
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Post by Spock on Apr 12, 2016 13:28:37 GMT -6
... Yet nowhere on their extensive website of how great of a product Neuticles and accessories are, how great of a service they are providing, and how great of an animal lover the inventor is for doing such a great service, does it mention a single dollar donated. A more-than two minute drill reveals nothing that he or his company does in the way of philanthropy of any kind. Pfft. I'm sure there is some way/place to leave comments. Why not suggest that to them? They may just not have thought of the idea.
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Post by Phalon on Apr 15, 2016 6:14:45 GMT -6
Good idea, Spock - did a two-second check, and it appears there's no comment section on the website. It looks like they have a Facebook page though - I'll look into that later when I'm not so rushed.
Just time for a morning quickie right now.
Later, Taters.
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Post by Phalon on Apr 30, 2016 6:10:31 GMT -6
They say the early bird catches the worm.
I never much cared for worms.
Running late, Taters. Enjoy the day.
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Post by stepper on Apr 30, 2016 19:41:34 GMT -6
You've never done much fishing or you wouldn't say that.
Or maybe you should get yourself some gummy worms - or sour worms. They have both of those in the BX.
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Post by Phalon on May 1, 2016 6:48:56 GMT -6
Pfft. We did lots of fishing with Dad when we were kids, and enough when Hubs and I were dating. The wonderful men in my life always baited the hooks.
Still say why would I want worms? Can't stand even the smell of them, gummy or otherwise.
Now, if the adage was "the early riser gets the coffee" or "the early addict gets the chocolate", I'd have more incentive to be on time.
* * *
Wondering if anyone has had problems copying photos from Photobucket lately? I can upload, but whenever I try to copy the code to a post, what copies is whatever I've copied previously - such as Stepper's fishing quote, for example. Even signing out of everything, clearing my history, and signing back in doesn't work. It's been a few weeks since this started happening.
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Post by stepper on May 1, 2016 14:23:02 GMT -6
And did they take the fish off the hook for you too? Gardening comes to mind. * * * I've had problems with photos on Photobucket - sometimes I have to wait a bit for it to work like they're doing something in the background first. Last time - the tombstone I think - I had to click the link several times before it displayed the copied notice. Then I found that there was some kind of link next to the links and it copied the direct reference with no problems. In reference to the problem you describe you can try this - don't copy it once, copy it twice back to back - or three times if you can. It sounds like a memory management problem but I'll have to do some digging on a better solution; it's possible Spock has encountered this before and has a solution. You said you were windows 10, right? Show this to your computer friend - it's instructions on creating a link to clear the clipboard. I'm not sure what the real problem is, but anytime you copy something, anything, it copies to the clipboard. The next time you copy something it should automatically erase the clipboard and then store the new information. It's possible that's not working properly - this will clear the clipboard. It should also be unnecessary but if you are having problems... www.tenforums.com/tutorials/4326-clear-clipboard-shortcut-create-windows-10-a.html
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