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Post by Gabbin on Sept 12, 2004 23:33:19 GMT -6
Sometimes I think Druid should bareless not more.
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Post by Phalon on Sept 12, 2004 23:44:45 GMT -6
She does bare a bit much. This is a PG board. We shall have nunnos of that here.
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Post by Gabbin on Sept 12, 2004 23:56:03 GMT -6
It WAS a Pg board before tonight. Hey, Gams! You have a third star!Congrats. Suddenly the "everytime a bell rings an angel gets her wings" lline just popped into my head.
I wonder where I am numerically. I may be catching up on Scrappy if she doesn't jump in here soon.
I just want to say hello to Erco at this point.
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Post by Phalon on Sept 13, 2004 0:05:34 GMT -6
Erco? Was she here and I missed it? Hello Eroc. And where the heck did Scrappy go anyway. Ever notice how she leaves suddenly when we come on board? Starting to get that complex again.
And I'd just like to appleologize to anyone reading these three bouncing threads tonight, (here, Yo, and Horrorscope), for the depths we sunk to. Really wil-low.
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Post by Gabbin on Sept 13, 2004 0:08:35 GMT -6
Thanks Gasms. It is great to have a pal to apologize for me. I surely need that. This is all stemming from my childhood. We used to hang around twisting the stems to get the first name and then to hit the apple till it punctured to get the second letter of our love-to-be.
I am really using the edit function tonight, and still it is quite the read.
Nope, Gams, Erco wasn't here. I just thought I would send out a hello.
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Post by Xie on Sept 13, 2004 0:12:12 GMT -6
Hey Gams says your a functional Whooshite does that mean the rest of us are Dysfunctional?
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Post by Phalon on Sept 13, 2004 0:14:21 GMT -6
My Whooshite may be functioning, but my brain is not.
I'd like to take this time to say goodnight ladies, and thanks for the laughs.
Later, and sweet dreams.
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Sept 13, 2004 2:22:12 GMT -6
Wait! I'm here! Oh..........piss, I missed it all again. Goodnight ladies.
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Post by Phalon on Sept 17, 2004 2:19:02 GMT -6
Gods bearing gifts, a few nymphs, one dragon, a laborer, and a guy with the weight of the world on his shoulders. The major players in the Greek myth of the Golden Apples. Quite a diverse cast of core characters in this story and let us begin…
Gaia, Mother Earth, gives Zeus and Hera the gift of the Golden Apples on their wedding day. Hera greatly admired the apples, and planted them in her garden near Mount Atlas. Up from the ground sprang a golden apple tree.
Soon she noticed a little nibble here, a bite there – someone was eating the apples off her rare and beautiful tree. Not willing to leaf this go unpunished, she finally got to the root of the problem. Hesperides again! Sounds like a sequel to one of those old western movies, doesn’t it? Hesper Rides Again, where some old coot in a too big cowboy hat, performs some incredible feat then rides off into the sunset on his trusty steed. Insteed, in this story, the Hesperides are nymphs, who, not wearing any cowboy hats or slinging guns, steal the apples from Hera’s tree. Hera scolds them and the Hesperides then devote themselves to tending the tree and doing things nymphish, such as frolicking and singing under its branches.
To keep the Hesperides, and all others, from eating any more of her apples, Hera sends in a dragon, Ladon, (sometimes referred to as Draco), to guard the tree. Ladon is laden, Ladons and Gentlemen, with one hundread heads to dread and fear. One rub on a Ladon’s lamp and out pops a genie granting you three wishes. Wait, no…I’m getting my myths mythed up again. Remember that old Styx song, Ladon, when I’m with you I’m smiling. Give me all-llll your love. Sheesh, I loved that song….flashbacks to junior high dances. Pardon my degression, (not digression, but that too). I’m really dragon this on, aren’t I?
So, to move forward, Hercules is given the task by King Eurystheus to pluck three golden apples from this tree. Performing many labors along the way, Hercules finally finds the secret garden where the apple tree grows. Not wanting to risk facing Ladon, Hercules cons Atlas who is stuck holding the heavens nearby, to retrieve the apples, offering to reprieve Atlas of his burden while he is gone. Atlas, thinking this is the perfect way to get rid of his pain in the neck, agrees.
Atlas returns with the apples, but refuses to take back his heavy load, declaring, “Atlas, atlas, I’m free atlas”. Acting delighted with his new task, Hercules, head and shoulders above Atlas in his quick thinking skills, asks Atlas to hold it just for a second, while he pads his head and shoulders to prevent chaffing. Atlas agrees, and off goes Hercules with the three apples.
It should be noted here, that in the Draco version of the tale, Hercules, himself, slayed, (slew?), the dragon, then slew the coop. Hera honors Draco, her trusty guard dragon, by placing him in the heavens as a constellation. Or in another version of this version, Hercules threw him up into the sky where, again, he becomes a constellation. We discussed Draco way back in the early annals of this thread, I remember. I am annal retentive, that way.
To get on with the story again…Hercules returns to King Eurystheus with the apples. Eurystheus, doesn’t quite know what to do with them and gives them back to Hercules. Herc hasn’t a clue either so asks his goddess friend, Athena, what to do. Athena had stood by Herc during all his labors, and more than once, guided him in his journeys. “Athena, I had no idea how much I’d need ya.” (Who sung that song. Yes, that’s right. No, Who….sorry, my little version of The Who’s on first, Yes is on second). So anyway, yes, on with the story. Athena takes the apples back to Mt. Atlas and the Hesperides where they belong.
Some myth Archie debunkers state that this myth is just a myth, and in their version of the myth say that the Hesperides are shepardesses and the apples sheep. What the flock? It seems the words “apple” and “sheep” in ancient Greek are similar or the same. Comparing apples to sheep. Sheer nonsense, I say. Ewe decide which is right.
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Sept 19, 2004 23:03:36 GMT -6
Wouldn't you break teeth on golden apples?
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Post by Phalon on Sept 19, 2004 23:09:22 GMT -6
Interesting point, Scrappy. I'll have to molar that over a bite.
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Sept 19, 2004 23:20:54 GMT -6
Just wanted to give you something to chew on.
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Post by Phalon on Sept 19, 2004 23:32:34 GMT -6
The whole myth is hard to swallow, actually.
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Sept 19, 2004 23:38:12 GMT -6
Maybe they were just gold plated?
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Post by Phalon on Sept 19, 2004 23:40:00 GMT -6
Yes, members of the Screen Apples Guild.
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Sept 19, 2004 23:41:06 GMT -6
That's gold carded...............
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Post by Phalon on Sept 21, 2004 22:01:51 GMT -6
So now let’s compare Golden Apples to Golden Apples. We discussed the Greek myth - now on to the Norse. I think I bit off more apple than I can chew on this one, but I’m too far in to just dumpling it in the trash.
We get a glimpse of Norse mythology in some of the Xena episodes. In the Ring Trilogy, Odin and his raven, Valhalla, the Valkyries, flying horses. And what is it with flying horses? (maybe a comparision between the Valkyries’ steeds and Pegasus is due next? Neigh, I say. No hay am I going to tack-le that. I’m too unstable to get in that deep.) So the flying horses - A horse is a Norse, of course, of norse. (Wasn’t that the theme song from Mr. Ed? Geesh, I’m rambling already. Where is my Mr. Edit button when I most need it?) Talking horses, flying horses, horses with horns stuck on their foreheads, half men/half horses. Why are horses given all these fantastic, unrealistic characteristics in myths and such. It’s all horse s**t. At least that’s the claim of the neigh-sayers.
Along with Odin and the Valkyries, the Golden Apples appear in the Xena episode, You Are There, (BOLL, I liked that ep). The Greek golden apples were just pretty decoration, but the Norse apples granted the gods eternal youth. The Norse gods were not immortal, like the Greeks, so the apples were of utmost importance.
I kinda got confused with all this Norse stuff – so many new names and places, (at least with the Greek myths, many of the gods I’m at least familiar with). And all these strange, funny punctuation marks above certain letters and other’s in italics smooshed up against another letter. I can’t figure out how to do all that, (or rather don’t want to take the time to learn). Maybe Gabbin, in all her new found computer techyness can master that. Anyway, I had to do a brief background check on the major players in the Golden Apple myth to get things straight. Appearing in alphabetical order are:
Æsir- One of two races of gods in Norse mythology. The AEsir were very polite yes men, (yes sir, yes sir), while the other race, the Nosir, (Vanir) were the nay-sayers. The Æsir reside in Asgard under the leadership of Odin.
Asgard- The home of the Æsir, one of the nine worlds of Norse mythology. Asgard was the penthouse of the nine worlds where the AEsir gods had their palaces. The name, Assguard, was originally taken due to the fact the AEsar are a tight group, guarding each other’s backsides, and covering their behinds along the way, butt over the centuries, they tended to get a little soft and sag a bit. Freya- The goddess of love and fertility. She was very beautiful and captured the heart of many – men, giants and dwarves alike. Freya is practiced in witchcraft and instructs the gods in Asgard in magic and potions. Certainly not a fredya cat, she can actually be quite scary – freyas one’s nerves to be around her. She has a warlike side and shares Odin’s battle lust. They also share the slain heroes – some go to Valhalla and others to Freya’s hall, Sessrumnir. Her symbol of war is her boar, Hildisvini, and she has a chariot pulled by two black cats. Sometimes, she will don a falcon skin which she uses to fly.
Idunn, Iduna, Idun- The golden-haired goddess who is the keeper of the golden apples that grant the Æsir eternal youth. She is the wife of Bragi, god of poetry, and he often writes love poems about Idunn, bragi-ing of her beauty. Her name is taken from the fact that she is very skilled at feigning ignorance when it suits the situation. “I dun no nothing” is one of her most oft used phrases.
Jotunheim- One of the nine worlds. Mountainous and cold, it is where the Jotuns live. This world was given to the giants by Odin after the creation. The giants got all choked up over this gift from Odin, and he had to perform the Jotunheimlick maneuver on each of them.
Loki- Loki is known a mischief maker and a liar, and over time became associated with evil. He is counted among the Æsir gods, but he is not one of them. He’s Odin’s brother, which is why none of the gods dared to harm Loki, no matter how much of a pain in the Assguard he became. They often said, “Looki here, you need to change your evil ways, or we’ll Santana your hide.” But they never did, afraid of Odin’s wrath. Once though, they did try to locki him out of Asgard, but he tricked them into letting him back in again.
Odhinn, Odin, Woden, Wuotan, Wotan- God of many names. Among the northern races, he is top dog…oops, a bit dyslesic there – I meant top god. It really doesn’t make a dalmation, because they pretty much mean the same thing. He is the god of universal wisdom and victory. He has the Valkyries scoop up half of those killed in battle, or in another version, only the heros. These slain warriors are then brought into Valhalla. Odin's symbols include the raven, the wolf, and the spear. He has two ravens, Hugin (thought) and Munin (memory), and they are his information gatherers. His two wolves are Geri (greedy) and Freki (fierce), which he feeds from his plate at the odinner table in Valhalla, because all Odin needs for sustenance is mead, (which may explain a lot). His spear has the ability to determine victory in battle. Another of Odin's symbols is the valknut, three interlocking triangles. Take it or leave it. Sometimes you feel like a valknut, sometimes you don’t.
Thiazzi, Tjasse, Thjazi- A powerful storm giant, and the next to hit the poor battered Florida coastline.
So those are all the main characters in the Golden Apple myth. One of these days, I will finish this….Big cider - what I ferment to say was “big sigh”. Oooo, so rotten. I know.
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Post by Phalon on Oct 2, 2004 23:45:49 GMT -6
I called the orchard today to find out which varieties were ready to pick now. The Golden Delicious were the ones I was waiting for, and they are ready. Then that reminded me I have this tail hanging here. No wait, tale...I grow older as I wait to finish this, but the tail is not quite hanging yet.
But I need to get off my tail and finish this before too long.
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Post by Phalon on Oct 4, 2004 9:04:36 GMT -6
I can not tell a pie - the Golden Apples of Norse mythology is a long story, and I’ve grown bored with it. Feeling kinda crusty and just a bit flaky, I’m just not in the ala mood to do it all at once. Since I started it though, I feel I must finish, so I’ll just cut it up and give it to you slice by slice. Here’s the first piece; Three of the AEsir - Odin, Loki, and the god of silence, Hoenir, (not to be confused with his brother Hoefar, who was in charge of weeding the back forty), left Asgard on a journey. After many days of traveling, without much to eat, they came upon a herd of oxen. Loki had the cattlegory task of slaughtering one of the oxen, while Ódin and Hœnir built a fire. Eagerly awaiting a meal of oxtail soup with bullion broth and bulloney sandwiches, they sat down to wait for the meat to cook. After being on the fire for what seemed like a sufficient amount of time, the ox was just as raw as when they put it in the fire. How could that be? The bull was big, yes, but ought to be well done by now. (Well-done bull….an oxenmoron, if you think about it. Bull is usually both very raw and over-done. But well-done? Rarely). A large eagle perched in a tree observed all this and proposed a bargain.. The eagle said “If you agree to give me my fill of the ox, then your meat will get done.” Being as hungry as they were, the gods agreed. The eagle swooped down and snatched up two of the thighs and both shoulders of the ox, then flew up thigh into a nearby tree. Oh man, what a load of bull, and it was a wonder he could fly at all. He began to devour the AEsirs’ dinner. Loki was so angry that the eagle took most of their meal, that he grabbed his staff and stabbed it into the eagle. What a sticky situation for the eagle, I’m talon you. He’d be damned lucky if he didn’t get a staff infection, (BOLL, staff infection, get it? How I love that pun. Originally on the O2 board, courtesy of Lola and Gabbin, it was the pun that started it all). The eagle flew off with one end of the stick still stuck in its back, and Loki hanging on the other end. What a total drag for Loki. The eagle flew just high enough that Loki’s legs banged into rocks and boulders along the ground. He felt he’d be ripped in two, and his arms pulled from the sockets. He begged the eagle for mercy, saying he’d do anything if only the eagle would release him. “What, prey-tell, have you got to offer me?” asked the eagle. * * * I’ll stop here for now, and eaglet you go. A bit flightly, I know, and I’m just winging it, but I hope your interest is beaked. I’m not sure feather or not I’ll get around to finishing this tail anytime soon. So just hang tight....like Loki.
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Post by Phalon on Oct 31, 2004 22:46:37 GMT -6
I really had to dig this one up from the depths. I’d almost forgotten I’d left it unfinished, but then ran across a couple of the references I used on my favorites list. Cleaning house, so I think I’ll finish it up real quick. I’ve mythplaced my ability to pun, so I’ll skip the punishment for now - save for one or two really bad ones, (just to follow tradition) – and I’ll just get on with the ending. . Where did I leave off…Oh yes - Loki was hanging from the eagle and begging for mercy. The eagle told him he’d free Loki if Loki would swear to bring Idunn and her apples to him. Loki agreed.
Returning to Asgard, Loki told Idunn that during his journey he came upon some apples that were more golden and beautiful than hers, (Hera’s perhaps?). He offered to take Idunn to them so she could see for herself, and suggested she bring hers so they could compare. As they left Asgard, the eagle, (Thiazzi, the storm giant in disguise), came again and carried Idunn and her apples away.
The AEsir were frantic, for without Idunn’s apples, they would grow old and die. They held a meeting and asked who had seen Idunn last. Someone mentioned that she was last seen with Loki leaving Asgard. Loki was brought before the assembly and threatened with torture and death unless he told the truth. He told them, and said he would go to Jotunheim himself to bring Idunn and her apples back – but he needed Freya’s falcon coat. “What’s in it for me?” Freya asked. “Quit falcon with me, and just give me the coat”, Loki replies. Freya gives in and Loki donned the falcon skynard. Fly high, Freya Bird. Loki….it’s a bird, it’s a plane…
He flew to Jotunheim when Thiazzi was gone fishing and Idunn was there alone. He changed Idunn into a nut and, holding her in his talons, he flew back towards Asgard. When Thiazzi returned and found her missing, he took the shape of an eagle again and flew after Loki.
The Æsir, seeing the falcon flying with the nut being chased by the eagle, started carrying bundles of plane shavings to the walls surrounding Asgard. As soon as Loki made it passed the walls, the AEsir set fire to the shavings, which immediately burst into flames. The eagle was unable to stop, flew into the flames and caught his feathers on fiiiirrre. The eagle fell to the ground and the AEsir killed him.
Idunn and her apples were back in Asgard, and the youth of the AEsir returned.
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Post by Phalon on Dec 21, 2004 20:19:50 GMT -6
Just beclaus it’s that season….
Christmas time. ‘Tis the season to be jolly. Deck the halls. Hang the mythletoe…(got that lisp thing going again. “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth” – which reminds me of Hag, and I hope she is doing well this holiday season). And of course, Santa. Ho, ho, ho, and the jolliest ho of all belongs to Santa Claus, with no disrespect at all intended towards Mrs. Claus, of course, who I’m sure is a fine lady, and jolly to boot.
So where did Santa originate, (besides the North Pole)? Father Christmas, Kris Kringle, St. Nicholas and Santa Claus….a lot of names for man we only see once a year, and why’s he need so many aliases? Let’s delve in into the man, the myth and the magic…courtesy, of course, to the two-minute Internet drill.
The modern image of Santa didn't develop until well into the 19th century. He is an evolutionary guy, evolving from the melding of two religious personages, (St. Nicolas and Christkinlein, the Christ child), a bit of satire, a couple of poems, an enterprising department store owner, and a soda-pop company.
St. Nicholas was the one who started it all way back in the 4th century. He was bishop to the city of Myra in Asia Minor, until he decked, not the halls, but reportedly a heretic named Arius; punched him out during a debate and was imprisoned for it. He is the patron saint of orphans, sailors, the poor, penniless and nicholas, and everyone in a state of duress. Ironically, he is also the patron saint of merchants and pawnbrokers, (I guess it was commercial even way back then).
He is usually depicted as a bishop in red robes, with a white stole over his shoulders containing a trinity of crosses, white hair and beard, and very thin. His right hand is raised in blessing and, in his left, he holds a golden Gospel book. One of the more famous stories of Saint Nicholas tells of him visiting a poor family at night, distraught because the father had no dowries to give his daughters, which meant they could not marry. Nicholas saved them from a life of prostitution or slavery by dropping gold coins through a window and into their stockings, hanging to dry by the fireplace. His feast day is December 6th.
A bit of similarities to the fat man in the red suit with a sack of toys over his back, who leaves gifts during the night, but we are still a long way off. Let’s continue…
The sailors spread the stories of him through the European ports, and over time, these stories started to blend with other legends – especially after the Protestants entered the picture. Nicholas was replaced by a representation of the Christ child, or “Christkindlein”. In some parts of Europe, the Christkindlein traveled with Nicholas-type figures, (in France, called Pere Noel), or with a dwarf helper, called Pelznickel, (Nicholas with furs), who dressed in disguises, (including a beard), and visited while the children were awake, playing tricks, while the Christkindlein came while they were asleep, leaving gifts to be found the next morning. As time passed the Christkindlein, (whose name evolved into Kriss Kringle), was overshadowed by the more visible Pelznickel, (or Belsnickel), and combined with St. Nicholas; the present day image of Santa started to emerge.
The Dutch immigrants came to New York, bringing with them St. Nicholas and Sinter Klaas, (or Sancte Claus). The New York Historical Society was formed in 1804, with Saint Nicholas as its patron, and the members revived the Dutch tradition of St. Nicholas as the gift-bringer. In 1809 and revised 1812, Washington Irving published “A History of New York”, a satirical look at New York’s Dutch past, including St. Nicholas, who Irving wrote as making a yearly ride over the tops of the trees in a wagon containing gifts to be distributed to the children. Then in 1821, a New York printer, William Gilley, issued a poem about Santeclaus, who dressed in fur and drove a sleigh pulled by one reindeer.
Clement Clarke Moore, in 1822, wrote “An Account of A Visit from St. Nicholas, (or popularly called, “Twas the Night Before Christmas). Moore gives St. Nick seven more reindeer, bringing the total to 8, and gives them all names. He also invented the chimney entrance idea.
St. Nick/Santeclaus still had not risen to his present stature. He was a dwarf…a right jolly old elf, who drove a miniature sleigh. It took a Philadelphia merchant, J.W. Parkinson, to man-size him. In 1841, Parkinson hired a man to dress in “Criscringle” clothing and climb the chimney of his shop.
By the late 19th century, Santa Claus was far from standardized though…he was still portrayed as both large and small; sometimes fat, sometimes thin; sometimes dressed in fur, or sometimes in suits of red, blue, green, or purple. The English custom of sending Christmas cards came to America, and in 1885, Boston printer, Louis Prang, issued a card with a red-suited, chubby Santa, and this image began to replace the Belsnickle image, dressed in furs, and the all multicolored Santas.
Now enter Coca-Cola….In the 1930s, the company was looking for ways to increase their wintertime sales. Haddon Sundblom, began drawing a series of a larger than life, red and white suited Santa Claus drinking Coke. These drawings became an annual Christmas feature, and while it is a myth that Coca-Cola invented the image of the present day Santa, (hence the red and white suit – the company colors), it is true that the success of these ads brought the image to a more wide-spread audience which helped establish this image of Santa as the Real Thing.
Sheesh. A long one, and I just got it in in the Nick of time.
Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas.
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Post by Gabbin on Dec 27, 2004 22:40:31 GMT -6
Wow, I feel so bad. I don't know how I missed these, Gams. I am way tired tonight. The steamy cave today and all, but, I wanted to just check in and tell you how much of a laugh I got out of these last few posts. Really good stuff.
I read the other day in the paper a short blurb about the Greek Solstice god. I need to find out about that. Time to dig in the recycle bin.
I shall be back.
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Post by Phalon on Dec 28, 2004 21:57:44 GMT -6
Yes, thanks Gabbin…please write something in here. I’ve mythed the ball on the last few I’ve chosen, and they have not been much fun, (well, Santa was fun…a jolly guy and all, but not very puny - kind of rotund actually). The apple thing, well blah…I hated writing the Scandinavian Norse myth, but once I started I had to Finnish; a bitter Swede victory. Funny thing though, since I wrote, it seems to popping up here and there; first in the Wiccan thread regarding mythletoe, and then today in a book I’m reading…a culinary book, (sort of ), and discussing notable apples the book sums up in about three sentences what it took me about a half dozen very long, wordy posts to get out.
So the abridged version…
Hera’s Golden Apples…The Hesperides were daughters of Atlas who lived in a garden in the East. There, aided by the hundred-headed serpent Ladon, they guarded the golden fruit – the wedding gift of Gaia to Hera. As one of his labors Hercules stole the apples and gave them to Athena, who returned them.
Idunn’s Golden Apples…they kept the gods eternally youthful.
Hhhmmm….thinking my New Year’s resolution ought to be to limit my posts to ten words or less.
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Dec 28, 2004 22:05:31 GMT -6
I'll start a pool on how long it takes you to break.......any takers? I give her one post or less......
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Post by Phalon on Dec 28, 2004 22:38:48 GMT -6
PPPPBBBBLLLLTTTT!!!!!!!!
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Dec 28, 2004 22:40:38 GMT -6
There you go with the spitting again.....are you that uncivilized?
What are we going to do with you?
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Post by Phalon on Dec 28, 2004 22:48:56 GMT -6
I'll have you know I've never spit on the board...
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Post by Phalon on Dec 28, 2004 22:49:35 GMT -6
maybe spewed coffee on the screen a few times, but...
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Post by Phalon on Dec 28, 2004 22:50:17 GMT -6
that doesn't count. Neither does drooling when I've stayed here...
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Post by Phalon on Dec 28, 2004 22:51:21 GMT -6
later than I intended. And a "Pfft" in no way...
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