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Post by katina2nd on May 11, 2012 20:23:44 GMT -6
Phalon, I hope you don't mind a response from a stranger. What you're going through with your daughter sounds extremely difficult. While reading your rant/not rant, several things struck me. Your daughter seems to be quite intelligent and to have more wisdom than most kids. Unlike your teen, most teenagers wouldn't even be aware of the difference between being generous and being an enabler. Your daughter is being much more cautious than most kids could be. That your daughter does have such a generous nature is actually a sign that you and Hubs have done a good job raising her. Yes, she not mature enough to understand that sometimes losers are just losers. Personally, if I had to choose between having raised a child who is generous and one who is selfish, I'd go with generous every time. Despite all the Sturm und Drang of the moment and all the hurtful things your daughter has said, I got the sense from what you wrote that eventually you will resolve this. Still, I'm sorry things are tough right now. Now if I could just think of some useful advice for my 2 year old grand-daughter-(not legally)in-law's parents -- and for me. This child is a demon: she has sent both of her parents, me, and every other relative into time out for misbehavior only she understands. I am already dreading her teenage years. No wise words, just good wishes.Excellent post scamp. Gams, hope everything works out well eventually, and "knowing" you and LX as I do I'm sure they will. Wish I had some words of wisdom to offer but never having been through what you've described [ thankfully ] I can only offer my best wishes.
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Post by Phalon on May 13, 2012 7:47:39 GMT -6
Whole lotta catsup to mustard here.
Sorry for your plumbing woes, Stepper, but your relaying of the events made for a very entertaining post. We had the same problem shortly after we moved in. We didn't even bother with the digging process and hired someone immediately. It was a good thing we did; they replaced the pipe from the house all the way to the street.
I totally agree! I haven't been to a "real" concert in years, unless you count Lil' Wayne, which I wouldn't have chosen to attend in a million years except I was chaperoning LX and her buddy, Josh.
When we lived in, or near larger cities though - DC, Philadephia, and Cincinnati, and growing up within an hour drive to Detroit - attending concerts was nearly monthly event. I've seen The Moody Blues, Tom Petty (multiple times); Crosby, Stills, and Nash; Santana, Jefferson Starship, The J. Geils Band, The Who, The Rolling Stones, Eric Clapton (multiple times), ZZ Top (multiple times), Blue Oyster Cult, Aerosmith, Ted Nugent, Genesis, Van Halen, The Guess Who (that one was here in town, decades and decades and decades after they released anything), Rush, Meat Loaf, Steppenwolf (another local oldies performance), The Black Crowes, Styx, The Knack (remember them?), and Supertramp. Oh, and what was that chainsaw playing band? The one with the then-hot, but sexist lead singer? (Think, think, think) Jackyl. I'm sure there are others I'm not remembering - high-school was a blur of concert going weekends.
Ironically, I've never been to an alternative-metal concert - the type music I've listened to since before LX was born, unless I count the metal biker chicks from hell band (I think it was Kitty?) that my brother dragged me to see once in a downtown Detroit bar that required a weapons pat-down upon entry. I've blotted most of the experience from my head.
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Post by Phalon on May 13, 2012 8:45:56 GMT -6
Thanks, Scamp and Katina, for your kind words.
And yes, there is no doubt in my mind that LX is intelligent, and (ironically) she's extremely logical - the way her brain works sometimes actually amazes me (which is why the way it's working now is so discouraging). She's also very generous, but certainly does have a streak of 'what-do-you-mean-the-world-doesn't-revolve-around-my-every-move' selfish attitude. I think most teenagers (especially girls) go through that phase; I know I did.
Our biggest fear, of course, is that she's going to screw up what appears to be a very bright future. She's in the National Honor Society, the National Art Honor Society, and her ACT scores are in the top 12 percent in the country, (above average, but apparently not spectacular; being a perfectionist, she wants to take them over). We hope she doesn't give all this up for the guy - whether it's intentional or not.
You know, the whole drug thing is (kind of, somewhat, in a way) laughable. Because it all went down while I was driving back and forth to St. Joe, I wasn't aware of exactly what took place until after I posted. I just assumed because Hubs found the drugs, and called the police, that it was a large quantity....larger anyway than it was. A single joint...a blunt(?); my drug terminology usage has been out-of-the-loop since, ironically, high-school and shortly after.
"Why didn't you just flush it in front of him?" I asked, (although he never did come back here; he hasn't been allowed in the house since the party).
Hubs, although I'm sure he wanted the Loser to be arrested, did it because he wanted to show he wouldn't tolerate drugs in the house in any way. One joint is not enough to arrest him; I don't even think the police talked to him. We have no grounds to press charges (even with the age difference, and that she is still a minor, and he's an "adult").
For this to all have a good ending, I see it happening in one of two ways. That selfish streak of hers will kick in: she's got a job lined up for this summer, and will get tired eventually of spending all her money on him. Up until this point, any money she had (which she hasn't had for a while since she hasn't got an allowance since she's still paying off the party) has been her allowance; doing the few chores she's responsible for around the house, is a whole lot different than working hard for her money. I think she'll get resentful of him asking for money, or spending her hard earned cash on him, while all he does is sit on his butt, or go out to have fun. I know I'd get tired of it pretty d@mned quick.
Or she won't, and we 'll wait until she (hopefully) goes away to college to have him out of the picture. She's a junior.
Only one more year to go.
Ha! Sorry I can't help you here, Scamp, even though I've lived through it. LX was stubborn from the start; my Mom once said of her at age two, "If looks could kill, we'd all be dead."
Apparently, she's still got the look.
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Post by stepper on May 13, 2012 9:20:59 GMT -6
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Post by Mini Mia on May 13, 2012 20:38:06 GMT -6
Happy Mother's Day Ladies!
Phalon: My parents always told me I have that look too.
BTW: I worked with a young woman who married the no good, not working but spending my days out hunting, fishing, etc. It wasn't until several years later, after having a child, that she kicked him out. Hope LX doesn't wait that long.
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Post by stepper on May 14, 2012 18:26:16 GMT -6
At least Phalon is telling her.
Having someone force you to see the truth might be aggravating, but it's essential.
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Post by scamp on May 17, 2012 13:39:05 GMT -6
What a super cool addiction, Scamp!I've seen a wide variety of concerts over the years...Air Supply, Juice Newton, Harry Chapin, Loverboy (on my student ID in college...REO, Kansas, Lynard Skynard, Charlie Daniels, Willie Nelson, Micky Gilley, Martina McBride, Wynonna, Trisha Yearwood, Dixie Chicks, Billy Joel, Dan Fogelberg...Cher, Tina Turner, Diana Ross, Cameo, Patti Labelle, Billy Squire, Def Leppard, Ozzy, Tantric...too much local talents to remember...doesn't seem like too much compared to your list... :/ Favorite shows...Tina, Patti, Cher, Ozzy A sweet set of concerts, Quettalee!! Maybe we could start a thread on concerts -- old ones and recent ones, just to spread the joy?
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Post by scamp on Jun 18, 2012 1:36:08 GMT -6
Cosmic Americana: Two Voices, Two Guitars
I just got back from another road trip – 500+ miles to see Gillian Welch and David Rawlings in concert, in Memphis. This was their final shake down concert before the tour officially starts. I was greatly surprised by the two of them. We had tickets in the first row of the pit – Dave and Gillian were about 12 feet away from us. They played for nearly 4 hours! And through it all, Gillian was incredibly warm, open and funny – not at all what I had expected.
Now, to the important bits. Gillian and Dave’s harmonies are so close that you’d think they were siblings. Neither has a powerful voice but Gillian’s is strong enough to pull of some sweet syncopations and her control of her dynamics is superb. She moves into her songs in a really interesting way – first tuning, then playing chords, and then moving into the song which, invariably, had no connection to the chords she played. It was almost like she was gunning her motor. Gillian has most certainly bought into Gram Parsons’ wish for a cosmic American music: her “Elvis Presley Blues” and her “My Morphine” have stunning lyrics (as does “The Revelator”). And she and Dave have the uncanny ability to take two guitars (or a guitar and banjo) and somehow create a rich and full sound stage. Gillian plays one fine rhythm guitar and Dave has to be one of the finest flat pickers I’ve ever heard. He has a unique attack, very staccato, but also smooth and he can do some amazing things: at times he used the tuners to bend a note as though he was playing a banjo and at other times I’d have sworn he had somehow hid a mandolin inside his guitar. Dave’s playing reminds me of Sam Bush (cf Emmylou Harris at the Ryman – the DVD if possible). I can’t even describe the intensity of Gillian and Dave. Whether doing a tribute to the late Doc Watson (Lay Your Pallet on My Floor) or The Revelator or Down Along the Dixie Line, each song was a completed journey with ebbs and flows of tension and release. Their final encore, after being called back thrice was brave and brilliant. Dave and Gillian walked to the front of the stage and un-miked and un-amped, did Long Black Veil – a difficult song to begin with and to do it without any amplification takes guts but also allows the pain to be somehow that much more real. Since this was the smallest venue Gillian and Dave will play, I doubt they’ll be able to repeat that. Gillian Welch has become one of the masters of music universe.
And for all you diehard fans (remember, fan is derived from fanatic), Dave plays a 1935 Epiphone F clef Olympic and Gillian uses a 1956 Gibson J-50 – I got to actually fool with them…
Next comes a 12 hour trip to see Mavis Staples and Andrew Bird followed shortly thereafter by the Tedeschi Truck Band and B.B. King
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Post by Phalon on Jun 19, 2012 6:02:55 GMT -6
<crawls out of pop cultural hole...>
I've never heard of those artists.
<crawls back into pop cultural hole.>
Sounds like a great concert though!
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Post by katina2nd on Jun 19, 2012 20:54:15 GMT -6
Same here Gams, names don't ring a bell, but for someone still waiting for Abba to get back together I guess that isn't surprising. Fantastic reviews Scamp, made me feel like I was right there listening to the music. Look forward to hearing about Mavis Staples and Andrew Bird as well as The Tedeschi Truck Band and B.B. King ............ hey I actually do know about him.
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Post by scamp on Jul 19, 2012 2:10:02 GMT -6
<crawls out of pop cultural hole...> I've never heard of those artists. <crawls back into pop cultural hole.> Sounds like a great concert though! Same here Gams, names don't ring a bell, but for someone still waiting for Abba to get back together I guess that isn't surprising. Fantastic reviews Scamp, made me feel like I was right there listening to the music. Look forward to hearing about Mavis Staples and Andrew Bird as well as The Tedeschi Truck Band and B.B. King ............ hey I actually do know about him. Ta for your kind words Kat. ABBA sits proudly atop of my iTunes list. If you two lovely people could zip over to the new thread The Great One created, Musical Interludes (thank you o Great One), I'm working up a bio of Gillian Welch. And on Mavis et al. Thanks!
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Post by Phalon on Jul 19, 2012 6:32:25 GMT -6
Sounds very intriguing, Scamp. Uhm....where?
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Post by Mini Mia on Jul 19, 2012 14:26:48 GMT -6
hmm ... I could have sworn I posted a link to the thread in here:
It's on page 2, but I'll bump it up.
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Post by katina2nd on Jul 19, 2012 20:39:19 GMT -6
If you two lovely people could zip over to the new thread The Great One created, Musical Interludes (thank you o Great One), I'm working up a bio of Gillian Welch. And on Mavis et al. Thanks! On my way just with all the speed I can muster ............................. watch out Gams or you'll be trampled in the rush.
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Post by scamp on Jul 19, 2012 21:13:34 GMT -6
hmm ... I could have sworn I posted a link to the thread in here:
It's on page 2, but I'll bump it up.
Thank you O Great One!
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Post by Mini Mia on Jul 19, 2012 22:30:29 GMT -6
You're very welcome, Scamp.
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Post by stepper on Jul 23, 2012 21:45:13 GMT -6
Political commercials - they already bore me.
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Post by stepper on Jul 23, 2012 21:48:22 GMT -6
Robins Williams having a brief moment of inspired insanity.
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Post by scamp on Jan 28, 2013 0:51:57 GMT -6
Congratulations, you now have a grandchild.
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Post by Phalon on Jan 30, 2013 5:22:43 GMT -6
This means you're a new grandmother?
Then congratulations to you, Grandma Scamp.
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Post by Mini Mia on Jan 30, 2013 17:04:33 GMT -6
Grandkids make the world go 'round.
Congrats!
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Post by stepper on Jan 30, 2013 18:34:57 GMT -6
I completely missed this – congratulations Scamp!
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Post by Mini Mia on Apr 15, 2013 0:19:53 GMT -6
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Post by Phalon on Apr 7, 2014 5:57:42 GMT -6
This seems like the best place....
Shame we could only choose two.
It was a really cool thing to take part in. I'd mentioned before in another thread that two of the ladies in our writers group passed away last year. As a way to honor to them, we set up two different memorial $1000 scholarships, one in each of their names, for a graduating high school senior entering college in the fall. I was a member of the scholarship committee.
Along with the typical application form, teacher recommendation letters, college acceptance letter, and high school transcripts, we required a brief description of what writing has meant to them, and an essay. For Pat's scholarship the essay was to be 750 words or less taking any event in history and making it personal...that's what Pat's forte was. Dorothy, on the other hand, wrote poetry and was known for her brevity; she made each word count, packing as much meaning as possible into short, but beautiful sentences.
The essay challenge for her memorial scholarship was to write a six word autobiography. Easy right? It's not as simple as it sounds; to concisely describe yourself using only six words and make the reader understand your point can be difficult.
We received some very creative applications for both scholarships, and it was difficult to choose just one recipient for each one. Difficult but fun.
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Post by Mini Mia on Apr 7, 2014 21:20:45 GMT -6
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