|
|
Post by Phalon on Dec 3, 2009 0:00:50 GMT -6
Love and joy come to you, And to you your.......
...what the heck. I coulda swore I just got rid of this smelly magical thing.
Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Damn fish smells...
|
|
|
|
Post by Scrappy Amazon on Dec 3, 2009 0:04:05 GMT -6
Robin laid an egg....
HEY! When did we switch songs? We were just getting to the food part!
Damn...ok let's try this one.......
Grandma got run over by a reindeer......
|
|
|
|
Post by Phalon on Dec 3, 2009 0:07:18 GMT -6
What the hell was she doing in the middle of the landing strip?!
Deck the halls with boughs of holly....
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la......
|
|
|
|
Post by Scrappy Amazon on Dec 3, 2009 0:11:26 GMT -6
See....santa (has santa been invented by this time period?) had a little too much was-ale.....and she was directing traffic so-to-speak.
"Silver Bells....Sliver Bells......."
Hey...there's a fish monger...maybe you can trade in the boomerang fish?
|
|
|
|
Post by Phalon on Dec 3, 2009 0:15:48 GMT -6
I'm pretty sure Santa hasn't been invented yet. Maybe you can whip something up.
Oh, and did you mention food a few wassals back? When's that gonna happen?
Silver bells, damn fish smells...
Hey, Fish Monger!!! You wanna trade a smelly magical fish for a nice fresh bass?
Scrappy, you can play bass while I sing, okay?
|
|
|
|
Post by Scrappy Amazon on Dec 3, 2009 0:18:20 GMT -6
Yeah yeah...there was food comeing several songs back but you switched gears....and fish so now we're stuck with bass and silver bells! *sigh...ok let's try this one....
"On the first day of christmas my true love gave to me....."
|
|
|
|
Post by Phalon on Dec 3, 2009 0:24:47 GMT -6
A partridge roasted and stuffed with chestnut dressing...
One the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...
|
|
|
|
Post by Scrappy Amazon on Dec 3, 2009 0:26:42 GMT -6
Good choice.....
"Two turtle doves dry aged and bbq'd...."
On the third day of christmas my true love gave to me.....
|
|
|
|
Post by Phalon on Dec 3, 2009 0:35:28 GMT -6
Three french hens, fricassed in wine sauce... Hey, Poppet...I say we take the hens, turtle doves, partridge, and bass and call it a wassaling night. Maybe we can find a Hen Turtle Dove Partridge Bass Monger in the morning and trade everything in for pizza and beer; to tell the truth, I'm not too fond of Turtle Doves......oooo, unless they're a Dove Bar/chocolate turtle combo thing. Are you sure you can't invent chocolate? I've gotta get my seeress @ss to bed; there's visions to be had whilst I sleep, yanno. Sweet dreams, and thanks for the wassaling experience. ![]() storage.proboards.com/893671/images/ljxEFlZASExudmonnAMT.gif[/mgi] |
|
|
|
Post by Scrappy Amazon on Dec 3, 2009 0:37:16 GMT -6
Ah yes....visions of sugar plums......recipe to follow. Night Madam P and thanks for wassaling with me.
|
|
|
|
Post by Phalon on Dec 3, 2009 0:43:46 GMT -6
Pfft! Dancing sugar plums sounds more nightmarish than visionary.
'Night, Scrappeletta.
|
|
|
|
Post by Phalon on Jan 17, 2010 8:10:36 GMT -6
Fish Take 42
For those of you reading the following post, despite its appearance, the reader should not attempt to include the following in the actual timeline of the Scrolls. It’s just an aside that was suggested, or should I say inspired by a hilarious conversation and was too funny to pass up. Enjoy.
~ Scrappy.
Scrappy and Phalon stood on top of the cliff, looking out over the ocean. On the horizon, they could just make out three tall masts. Phalon turned to the blonde, a look of concern on her face. “It’s the Romans, Scrappy”, she sighed.
“And that’s bad, I’m guessing?”
“IT’S THE ROMANS!!!! ARE YOU LISTENING?!”
“Ok, ok, I get it. That’s not good.”
“No, really? Ya think? Not good is an understatement.”
“I get it, I get it. Romans bad. Romans very bad. I have a plan. Stay here.”
Scrappy took off running, heading for the woods, and her hopefully still secret hiding place for her bike. As she rounded the last turn, something large appeared in the path before her. She hadn’t quite noticed it in time, as a result she tripped/leaped over it, catching one steel-toed boot and unceremoniously crashed to her hands and knees.
“Damn! What the hell was that?”
Looking over her shoulder, down the path, she saw a flash of gold. She stood up, brushed herself off, and took a few steps back toward the object that had just thwarted her hasty retreat.
Standing over the object she couldn’t believe her eyes. There, in the middle of the forest path, was a giant golden swordfish.
“Ok, that’s bizarre”, she said to herself as she ran her fingertips through her hair in frustration. “But potentially useful.” She grinned and grabbed the fish, “Waste not, want not.” Throwing it over her shoulder, she again made her way back to the place they’d hidden her bike.
Once she arrived, it didn’t take her long to undercover the bike, and strap the fish to her handlebars, sticking out like a jouster’s lance. With a quick turn of the ignition and click of her boot, the bike jumped into gear and sped off, kicking up dirt until the rear tire finally caught hold of the loamy earth. It didn’t take Scrappy long to reach the spot where she left Phalon waiting impatiently watching the Roman ships creep closer.
“It’s about time!”
“Hey, I hurried as fast as I could.”
“What in Tartarus is that?” Phalon pointed to the fish strapped to the bike.
“That is for you.” Scrappy unstrapped the fish and tossed it toward her friend.
The fish landed across her chest, slightly sticking, it rolled slowly down to her outstretched arms. Phalon glared at Scrappy. “Looks good on you”, Scrappy laughed.
“This is some kind of payback, isn’t it? And how is an old dead fish going to help us?”
“Well, it helped us escape the centaurs”, Scrappy waved her hands dismissively.
“Just trust me. Get on the bike, and do what I tell you.”
Phalon glared at Scrappy again, and climbed on the back of the bike, muttering herself.
“Ok, now swing the fish over your head really fast and concentrate.”
Phalon did as she was told. Grabbing the fish by the tail, she began to swing it over her head. “Uhm…what the hell am I supposed to be concentrating on?”
“I dunno….just concentrate. Put some feeling into it.” Phalon swung the fish harder. “Now do one of those Amazon yells.”
“What?!”
“You know an Amazon roar…yell…thing. You know….yi, yi, yi, yi…one of those.”
“You have got to be kidding.”
“Come on, trust me. I saw it on T.V. once.”
“Ok, ok.” She than began swing the fish over her head, and began to yell, “Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi!”
“There we go.” Scrappy revved the engine and lined the bike up with the cliff. “Ok, concentrate now.” Scrappy kept her foot on the clutch and waited, holding her breath. Suddenly a thin bubble began to form around the pair on the bike. Dripping down from the top like thin syrup, forming a golden sphere around the dynamic duo. “Here we go. Hang on!!!”
“Wait!!! What the in Tartarus are you doing?!!!”
“You’ll be fine. Trust me.”
“I’m beginning to wonder if trusting you is such a good idea.” Scrappy ignored her, and revved the engine and engaged the clutch. The bike took off with a lurch and headed for the cliff. The tires left the edge of the cliff as the bike flew out over the water. They hung there in the air for a few seconds, the wheels of the bike still spinning like a Bug’s Bunny cartoon. Suddenly the bike plummeted toward the ocean. As they hit the water, it split and foamed against the protective sphere, keeping the inhabitants safe and dry. They sank to the bottom and touched down lightly, sinking slightly into the wet sand on the ocean floor.
“You okay?” Scrappy looked over her shoulder at her companion.
“I’ve done a lot of strange things in my life, but this has gotta top the list.”
“I know what you mean. Just go with the flow, and don’t try to figure it out.”
“Right. What now?”
Throwing her fist up in the air, Scrappy responded, “We sink the Romans!!”
“Of course, we do. For moment there, I thought we were gonna go clam digging ”, Phalon rolled her eyes.
Scrappy pointed the bike toward the Roman ships and took off again as fast as the sphere and wet sand would let them. They reached the incoming ships in no time, and went to work. “It’s a good thing they were entering the bay, or we might not have been able to reach them.”
“I was thinking it’s a good thing you found the magic fish, or surely we would have drowned by now.”
“Well, there is that too, I guess.” She rolled her eyes, “Not that we’re saving the world, oh, no, no - but that we’d have drown by now.”
The pair spent several minutes speeding along the ocean’s bottom, going from one ship to the next, using the golden swordfish to poke huge holes in the hulls of the ships. When they were satisfied that what they had done was unrecoverable, Scrappy once again turned toward the shore and drove the bike out of the water. Once on dry land, Scrappy attempted to reach out and touch the golden sphere with her gloved hand. With a spray of golden sparkles the protective sphere popped. Scrappy and Phalon watched with amusement as the three ships began to sink into the seas. The men on board, with the exception of one, began to dive into the ocean, opting to swim ashore rather than go down with their ships. The one who remained was dressed as a Roman captain. His long blue horse plume waving in the ocean breeze. From their observation post on the shore, Scrappy and Phalon could just make out the captain talking. He stuck one hand into the front of his tunic, “I regret that I have but one life to give to my Caesar!” Phalon and Scrappy watched as the masts were engulfed by the sea, and hundreds of water-logged soldiers pulled themselves onto the shore. Scrappy turned to Phalon with a gleam in her eye, “Well done.”
“Thanks. Saved by the fish. I’m hungry let’s start a fire, and see what this thing tastes like.”
Director: Cut. Print. See ya at the wrap party. The fish isn’t invited.
(disclaimer: the above was dictated to me by Scrappy via phone. No actual magical golden bubbles were popped or magical golden swordfish were harmed in any way.)
|
|
|
|
Post by EllieNeo on Jan 17, 2010 13:13:53 GMT -6
hehe, that made me smile.
|
|
|
|
Post by Phalon on Jul 31, 2010 21:00:14 GMT -6
Phalon: Uhm...you're sure?
Producer: Yes, I'm sure. Check your contract; it's in there.
Phalon: Hhmmm....yes, my contract. I vaguely remember signing a contract oh-so-long ago. Refresh my memory...
Producer: You did actually read the contract, didn't you?
Phalon: Uhm, yeah, sure. I just don't remember the part you're talking about.
Producer: Trust me. It's in there.
Phalon: So you're saying I don't get to just wear the pretty blue robe and swing the shiny sword? I have actually have to write something every once in a while? Is this up for negotiation?
Producer: sigh. Where do they dig these people up from, anyway?
|
|
|
|
Post by Mini Mia on Jul 31, 2010 21:04:32 GMT -6
Little Mouse: Psst. They come from the Whoosh.org message board, you don't want to get off on the wrong foot with them. They'll stomp on it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Scrappy Amazon on Sept 21, 2011 19:14:04 GMT -6
And then Scrappy and Phalon got on her motorcycle and rode off into the sunset. Leaving behind the memory of lovers past and looking into the.....
.......mouth of the great golden magic fish?
No no no.....
........future where there was no one to worry about but themselves. (and no other characters to kill or get rid of from previously defunked but still read stories.)
|
|
|
|
Post by Phalon on Sept 22, 2011 6:24:55 GMT -6
Oh, good...because fish breath at sunset always gives me weird dreams at night.
Dang! Does this mean I have to get rid of the little gremlin in my pocket? I found him shivering in the corner on our way out the door of the house, (or quite possibly he was snarling), and he just kinda followed me home. Can I keep him? Please, please, please. I promise I'll feed him and brush him and take him for walks and clean up after him. Please?
|
|
|
|
Post by Scrappy Amazon on Sept 24, 2011 9:51:24 GMT -6
Fine fine......just don't get him wet.
|
|
|
|
Post by Phalon on Sept 25, 2011 6:41:35 GMT -6
Uhm.......
....what would happen if, let's just say, I dropped him in the stream on accident, (if there's a magic fish, there's got to be a stream he lives in, yes?).
Not that it actually happened. Nope. No such thing ever occurred. Just curious is all.
<camera man screams. snarling is heard as the screen goes blank>
|
|
|
|
Post by Scrappy Amazon on Sept 25, 2011 14:46:08 GMT -6
OMG!! Didn't you read the intructions?? The little chinese guy said DO NOT GET HIM WET!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by moonglum on Oct 8, 2011 2:01:25 GMT -6
Has anybody seen my Hobnoblin? I must have left him somewhere. He's harmless, most of the time, but he does love biscuits. Water is no problem, he loves being dunked.
|
|
|
|
Post by vox on Oct 8, 2011 2:07:09 GMT -6
I think he went out on the town with Gary Baldi!
|
|
|
|
Post by Scrappy Amazon on Feb 1, 2012 12:21:15 GMT -6
Conversation:
Scrappy: So. What do we do now?
Phalon: I don't know what do you want to do?
Scrappy: I don't know what do you want to do?
Phalon: I don't know what do you want to do?
Scrappy: I don't......Ok...........How much stuff could Scrappy invent that no one had ever seen?
Phalon: Running water...
Scrappy: Toilets?
Phalon: Hmm
Scrappy: I want to invent some stuff that blows up!
Phalon: MICROWAVE!!!
Scrappy: Only if you're making popcorn.
|
|
|
|
Post by Phalon on Feb 2, 2012 7:01:49 GMT -6
BOLL!!! What makes the conversation even funnier is that it's true.
It's a good thing I just swallowed my last gulp of coffee, or it'd be all over the screen!
|
|
|
|
Post by Scrappy Amazon on Apr 20, 2012 15:30:25 GMT -6
And Scrappy was found sitting on a rock in the middle of a clearing hoping she doesn't fall asleep at the dinner table again while magic fish roast on the fire.
|
|
|
|
Post by Phalon on Apr 25, 2012 7:28:32 GMT -6
"Noooooooooo!"
Phalon rushes in, diving toward Scrappy, tackling her, and knocking the forkful of fish Scrappy was about to eat to the ground.
"You roasted the fish?! The magic fish?!!!", Phalon yelled. "Damn!"
She pieced it back together, and stood back to look at her handiwork. "There. Almost good as fresh. Think anyone will notice...uhm, especially the fish? It might come in handy later."
You never know when the need for a little fish magic will arise.
|
|
|
|
Post by Scrappy Amazon on Oct 17, 2012 20:43:29 GMT -6
"Look what the magic fish granted!" Scrappy stumbled into the clearing carrying a round silver disk.
Phalon rolled her eyes "What now? A map maybe? Some magic fuel for your motorcycle? Why can't that stupid fish ever offer anything useful?"
"Yeah yeah......JIFFY POP!"
|
|
|
|
Post by Scrappy Amazon on Oct 18, 2012 10:21:55 GMT -6
Scrappy picks up the magic fish and gingerly stuffs in inside the glowing orb. She replaces the cut out lid and throws it hard in the direction of....... PHALON!!!! |
|
|
|
Post by Phalon on Oct 19, 2012 4:45:29 GMT -6
OMG!!! A Fishkin! A Pufish?!
|
|
|
|
Post by xenawp7706 on Oct 19, 2012 5:11:00 GMT -6
“The Road Home Part II: Detours”; Take One.“Exactly what I was thinking”, Phalon said, getting back on the bike just as Scrappy gunned the engine, and took off….leaving Phalon sprawled behind in the dust. Director: “Cut!!!”“The Road Home Part II: Detours”; Take Two.“Exactly what I was thinking”, Phalon said, barely getting back on the bike before Scrappy took off doing wheelies, effectively flinging Phalon from the motorcycle and into the dust once more. Director: “Cut!!!”Phalon: “I want a stunt double.” Director: “This is a low-budget film. If you want a double, pay for it yourself. Now get back on that bike.” “The Road Home Part II: Detours”; Take Three.“Exactly what I was thinking”, Phalon said, trying in vain to get on the bike as her foot got caught in the hem of her robe. Tangled in the fabric’s folds, she’s left sprawled in the dust….again. Phalon: “Damned, stupid, (bleep-bleepity-bleep bleep, bleeeep) piece of sh!t robe!” Director: “Cut!!!!” “The Road Home Part II: Detours”; Take Four. “Exactly what I was thinking”, Phalon said, barely getting back on the bike before it sped off into the forest. Its roar quickly subsided as the density of the woods swallowed the sound. It was quiet in the clearing once more….but not silent. The fire crackled with laughter at the bumbling antics of our hapless heroines. **Disclaimer: No actual Phalons were harmed during the making of this post** LOL I never read this thread |
|
