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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Mar 29, 2010 22:01:27 GMT -6
I apparently am a klutz. Or I attract trouble. Or I'm just very lucky. Take your pick. Thing is when things like the story I'm about to tell happen I tend to find them terribly funny. Apparently those that love me do not. Like the time I told a friend, who shall not be named (Madam P), about the time I ran a red light because I was thinking about bagels and almost caused a four car pile up with me as the creamy filling, also mentioning the fact that I thought it was funny as hell, she practically yelled, using her best mom voice, that is no where near funny! Wow that was a sentence and a half.
Anyway, I had another "incident" just a couple hours ago. Allow me a moment to set the scene.
Late after noon, middle of rush hour in the driveway of a fairly busy grocery store leading to another fairly busy road waiting for traffic to let me in. A car pulls up next to me and does the "roll down your window" sign. I obliged though I was a bit pissed at this point because they were blocking my view of oncoming traffic.
"Your tire is about to come off your truck!"
"Seriously? Damn. Thanks!"
Ok...talking to myself now....have I been driving all this time with a tire going flat? DamnDamnDamn! So I try and back up so I'm not sitting in the middle of the drive way blocking traffic and pissing people off. I get two feet back hit a damn speed bump and stop. My truck isn't going anywhere.
DAMNDAMNDAMN!
I turn on the hazards get out of the truck and begin the inspection. I get all the way around and none of my tires are bad. They all look really good. So WTF I'm thinking to myself. Crap....I forgot about the spare which is usually snugged up under the bed of my truck secured by whatever mechanism the manufacturer put in accompanied by a rather large cable with a master lock locking the tire to the frame. I suppose the person who had it before me had issues with theft. In this instance however the mechanism has completely sheared off the truck and the tire is now dangling/dragging on the ground being held in place by the cable. And now cause I've attempted to back up it's also wedged against the speed bump and the underneath of the truck bed.
No problem I'm thinking to myself. I often wondered what that little gold master lock key was for when I bought the truck. (Not really. I just think it sounds more dramatic this way)
So I grab the keys, hazards still blinking, and lay down on the ground and crawl under the truck to unlock the spare, still in the middle of the driveway, praying someone doesn't run me over. I get down there and the damn key doesn't fit. OK now what?!
So I'm thinking to myself I can't just leave my truck here in the least convenient spot. I can't back up, but I can go forward. So I pull out of the drive way, drive around the block, tire dragging the whole way, and pull back into the parking lot out of the way so I can address the issue in safety.
The rest of the story isn't at all interesting but I'm going to finish it anyway.
My vet's office was half a block away so I walked down there and asked if they had a pair of bolt cutters. No they didn't. And before you ask why I would assume they would keep in mind where I live. When I worked for the local shelter we'd keep a large pair handy to cut the giant chain collars off of stray pit bulls.
OK so the Vet's a bust, let's try the gas station. No joy. But 'There's an auto zone across the street', suggested with a dopey smile by the attendant who had no idea close I was to killing him at this point. Just because he was so pleasant.
Don't judge, I'm not the only one who has serial killer moments like that.
So I trudge across four lanes of rush hour traffic, dodging cars to get to the auto zone I didn't know was there due to the trees lining the road in front of it. And with my best 'Oliver' facial expression, "Please sir.....Do you have some bolt cutters?"
Sure we do says the very friendly smiling car guy. "God bless you" and I don't even believe in god. So I take my giant red bolt cutters and trudge back across the four lanes of traffic, climb back under my car, and proceed to mangle the hell out of the cable holding up the tire until it finally comes loose. I get up throw all accoutrement in the back of the truck and continue on my merry way.
Moral of the story? Never buy a car from Cactus Auto....or if you do make sure the creep that sells it to you gives you ALL the damn keys.
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Post by Siren on Mar 29, 2010 22:20:23 GMT -6
I applaud you, Scrap. Many women would've stood there, helpless. Well done, taking the bull by the horns, and handling it yourself.
If it helps, your story made me smile!
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Post by Mini Mia on Mar 29, 2010 23:30:31 GMT -6
Yikes! At least you weren't in any danger. And that it wasn't a setup to rob or kidnap you.
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Mar 30, 2010 1:20:58 GMT -6
Thanks Siren. I honestly didn't think about not fixing it. And Mia? Why would anyone want to rob me for a 10 year old emerald green truck? LOL....I have nothing worth taking. Besides. I can be mean when I want to.
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Post by Mini Mia on Mar 30, 2010 18:06:08 GMT -6
Well . . . you know . . . there are a lot of crazies out there these days. And, I guess, since those were my thoughts, I must be of the same mind.
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Post by Phalon on Mar 31, 2010 3:52:20 GMT -6
Oh, oh, oh! I pick number two.
Ok, this one falls in the Terribly Funny category. I cracked up reading it....not only can I picture it happening, but I can also imagine it happening to me.
I've got a whole key ring full of keys that I have no idea what lock they open. Maybe I've got your cable key.
I will be sure to heed that advice. (eye-roll) Cactus Auto? You're kidding, right? Sounds like something out of a coyote/roadrunner cartoon. Oh, wait - that'd be Acme Auto. Yep, don't buy a car from them either.
Great story, Poppet - thanks for sharing.
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Mar 31, 2010 16:32:57 GMT -6
Thank you ma'am. I was not at all happy a the time, but the ride home was a chuckler. Especially after I caught a glimpse of myself in the rearveiw mirror and then looked down at my arms and hands. You'd have thought I'd crawled inside my truck engine and taken a bath. I showered when I got home which is another reason dinner was late.
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Post by Phalon on Apr 1, 2010 21:23:58 GMT -6
If you'd have come home clean, it wouldn't have been a real adventure. Somehow ya gotta get dirty for it to be an adventure.
Oh, and speaking of "harrowing experiences"...you never did say how your Surprise Pork n' Beans Somewhat-of-a-Casserole-but-Who-Really-Knows Thingie turned out.
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Apr 1, 2010 23:21:30 GMT -6
Mom says to say....."Hey mom made it so it's given that it was awsome."
Honestly? (she's not watching now) It was awsome. She's only ever made one thing that I can remember that I absolutely did not like. It involved tater tots and cheese. Don't ask.
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Post by Phalon on Jun 30, 2010 4:58:54 GMT -6
We boarded a westbound train for a daytrip to Chicago.....
Wait! That hasn't actually happened yet; we leave the house in about a half hour.
I'm taking four girls....there is bound to be a harrowing experience or two.
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Post by stepper on Jun 30, 2010 18:42:10 GMT -6
Train trip - just the girls - sounds like fun! Steppet took a train trip once. Just once. Won't happen again. They didn't mention that the return trip included an overnight in Chicago and she wasn't prepared for it.
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Post by Phalon on Jul 3, 2010 4:28:17 GMT -6
It was a fun trip. We took the train in, and spent the day at Shedd Aquarium. Probably the most harrowing experience was walking a few city blocks to the most run-down Baskin Robbin's ice-cream parlor I've ever been in. It's been decades since I've been in a Baskin Robbin's, and remember them as typical old-style bright ice-cream shoppes that you see in movies, with the chrome counter, and cute bistro-style tables and chairs. This place had a man begging for money outside; I promised him what change I had left when we were done eating. It was dark and dank inside, smelling of stale cigarettes and coffee. The ice-cream was good though, and the man outside was very appreciative of the few dollars I handed him when we left. Yes, yes...perhaps I'm a sucker, but in these economic times, you never know what difficulties people might be facing.
Oh, and the wind. Oh-my-gosh, it was windy! The girls didn't believe me when I told them Chicago got the name "The Windy City" from the politians of old, blowing a lot of hot air. The nonstop wind seemed to want to prove me wrong.
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Post by Siren on Jul 3, 2010 9:19:52 GMT -6
Oh, I love a train trip, Gams. We have taken the Amtrack to the Dallas area a couple of times. I enjoyed the romance of it, and the relaxation - take along your favorite snacks and books, kick back, read a bit, snack a bit, nap a bit, and watch the Oklahoma countryside go by. The kids can get up and wander around, visit the snack car, play their video games, and visit the "facilities" at-will. When I think of the hot, boring, road trips from my childhood, with us kids very cramped, uncomfortable, and wishing for a potty break, with my poor parents worrying about the traffic (and our rickety car), it makes a train trip, so relaxing for all in our party, all the better.
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Jul 9, 2010 11:13:47 GMT -6
One of these days I'm going to take another train trip and make it like the one you described Siren. I would have loved that!
My first and only train trip invloved a conductor trying to make up time by going too fast and bumping us along every curved in the track. And a dinner service sitting with a redneck his wife and a very pleasant Nigerian man. The rednexck was not happy and made his wife share his dinner so they wouldn't have to pay for two.
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Post by Phalon on Jul 11, 2010 6:07:28 GMT -6
When I was stationed in Germany, we took trains everywhere, to many of the different countries I had the opportunity of visiting. Nothing fancy - I still would love to one day travel cross-country on a train with dining cars, and overnight accommodations. I think, as Siren said, there'd be a romantic quality to it.
Some of the best train rides were when Hubs and I went to London, and used BritRail to visit some of the places outside the city. The trip from London to Salisbury, near Stonehenge was through absolutely beautiful countryside.
But the most memorable train ride was from Stanstead Airport into London. A stewardess (train attendant?) came down the aisle, asking what kind of snacks everyone would like for breakfast. The man across the aisle from us ordered 'tea and hobnobs'. It was at that moment I fell in love. Hobnobs! Oh-my-god, those chocolaty cookie delights.
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Post by Phalon on Aug 20, 2010 23:08:20 GMT -6
Today's Harrowing Experience: Picking Beans
I wasn't the picker (or it wouldn't have been a harrowing experience). Hubs was; need I say more?
Anyone who has been here a length of time, knows that Hubs is accident prone. Since I've been a member of Whoosh there's been a fall off the pier (broken ribs), salvaging bricks to use in our garden from a construction site (a torn epicondyle, months of therapy, and finally surgery), shoveling snow (months of therapy, and numerous steroid injections to the neck in a last ditch effort to avoid surgery), sliding off the roof (months of therapy and only one steroid injection). And those are just the major injuries. We keep Bandaids in the bathroom, kitchen, and garage...and I'm pretty sure he carries them in his briefcase too. I cringe when I see him carrying a ladder. My heart skips a beat when I hear power tools.
But picking beans? How could anyone hurt himself picking beans.
BP looking out the kitchen window: Daddy just went into the garage dripping blood from his hand.
Me, continuing to wash dishes: I thought he was picking beans. Hhmmm....I wonder what happened this time?
LX: Aren't you even the least bit concerned your husband is dripping blood?
Me: He's picking beans. How bad can it be?
LX: You're not going to go look?
Me: He's picking beans for God's sake. Noone, not even your Dad, can get hurt picking beans. I'm sure if a major injury occured while he was picking beans he would have come inside instead of going into the garage.
It's not that I don't care; that's not it at all. But he was picking beans! And I've been married to him long enough (24 years this week!), to know that if he was really hurt, I'd be the first one to know. He did come inside a while later...with the beans....and a Bandaid on his hand. He got a sliver - a pretty large chunk of wood, actually, from the fence by the garden stuck in his hand. Not a major enough injury to warrant rushing into the house, dripping blood all over the kitchen.
Besides...neighbor guy was across the fence during the time of injury. Hubs told him what happened. Neighbor guy asked, while rolling his eyes, "Picking beans???"
Only Hubs.
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Post by Mini Mia on Aug 21, 2010 0:44:28 GMT -6
You guys should be on a reality show.
Shoot. Big Brother should do a Whoosh Members season. Ooh. Or Survivor. Or Amazing Race.
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Post by stepper on Aug 21, 2010 20:51:20 GMT -6
Congratulations!
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Post by vox on Aug 22, 2010 14:07:17 GMT -6
Hey! Congratulations Phalon, 24yrs!
Next year your Silver one! you make sure you do something to celebrate it (that is if hubs doesn't hurt himself celebrating!) Only kidding!
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Post by katina2nd on Aug 22, 2010 20:53:44 GMT -6
Heartiest congratulations Gams, whatcha got planned?
Oh and the hubs story, two thumbs up.
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Post by Phalon on Aug 24, 2010 3:57:51 GMT -6
Thanks for the congratulations. Vox, we keep threatening to put Hubs in some lead shoes and chain his ankles together so he can't climb any ladders. Downside would be, he'd probably trip on the carpet and break a bone...or two.
Another 24 years.
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Post by stepper on Aug 25, 2010 17:19:22 GMT -6
Good plan you got there Phalon!
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Post by Mini Mia on Aug 25, 2010 18:02:40 GMT -6
... we keep threatening to put Hubs in some lead shoes and chain his ankles together so he can't climb any ladders. Downside would be, he'd probably trip on the carpet and break a bone...or two.
Uh. Keep him away from deep water.
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Post by Siren on Aug 25, 2010 20:59:21 GMT -6
Great post, Gams. And a great accomplishment - 24 years! Well done! You need to start planning now on a memorable way to mark #25. You two have earned it!
I had to share my recent, very crazy week with you all. As you may remember, I lost my job in April of last year, and was unemployed for six months. I was fortunate to find a full-time job as an office clerk, but at a substantial pay cut. So, I have taken extra jobs to make up the difference - a part-time radio gig, which takes about 2 hours, five days a week...house announcer and a bit of singing, every Saturday night at a local opry...and free-lance announcing jobs, here and there. Week before last was the perfect storm of full and part-time jobs. It went like this:
Monday - office + radio
Tuesday - office + 1.5 hours of free-lance voice work, recording a commercial + radio
Wednesday and Thursday - office + radio
Friday - office + ring announcer at an evening of pro boxing
Saturday - Opry rehearsal and show
Sunday - radio
I was truly laughing all the way, at the way things worked out. My friends and horrified family thought I was out of my mind.
You know how pigs "root", or dig, in the soil with their noses to find food? My mom quotes an old expression, "Root, hog, or die," meaning "Work, or go without". It's good advice.
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Post by stepper on Aug 25, 2010 23:55:57 GMT -6
Dang Siren! You did that all on purpose??? And you sing where someone else is actually going to hear you?? Wow. Ever hear Froggy in the Our Gang comedies? Now you know why I tell myself to hush up. LOL! I'm terrible. I make a joyful noise - and I'm being generous in the description.
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Post by Phalon on Aug 26, 2010 4:00:58 GMT -6
Dang, Siren! (I think there's an echo in here.)
That's not a Harrowing Experience, it's a....a....Drop Dead From Exhaustion-Sleep For a Week Experience (for lack of a better word).
I admire your attitude....your stamina...your ability actually type your last week's schedule without your head hitting the key board because you've fallen asleep while doing so.
And, of course, your singing talent! Stepper may make a joyful noise, but I make the noise of a cat with its tail stuck in the door. It's painful to hear.
All your singing and announcing gigs sound fun - and right up your alley. I remember a while ago, you mentioning your black-suit boxing ring gigs; that it was something you enjoyed doing. The important part of your drop-dead schedule....aside from getting some sleep, I think, is that you like what you do. Hopefully, that's the case here, and you're enjoying the work.
Hope you get a bit of a break and some rest this week!
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Post by Mini Mia on Aug 26, 2010 16:25:00 GMT -6
Siren: I hope the jobs you love start using/paying you more, so that you can cut out any jobs you hate. Or, if you like them all, they still start paying more anyway. Money isn't everything, but maybe it can make being sleep deprived more enjoyable.
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Post by Siren on Aug 30, 2010 11:50:13 GMT -6
Siren: I hope the jobs you love start using/paying you more, so that you can cut out any jobs you hate. Or, if you like them all, they still start paying more anyway. Money isn't everything, but maybe it can make being sleep deprived more enjoyable.
Thank you, Mia. That's very sweet! Would be great if it worked out that way. But in the meantime, yes, I am very fortunate that my side jobs are enjoyable to me. You're right, Gams, the fun of it is why such a crazy week didn't get me down (though I was looking like the walking dead toward the end!). I have an important job interview tomorrow, in radio, believe it or not. I never thought I would pursue another full-time radio gig. But this one is in my hometown, near my folks, who need my sisters and me more and more now. And it's a great opportunity to work with the Chickasaw Indian Nation, a large employer here. The Nation just started the station last fall, and are still figuring out its sound and format. It is meant as a community service station, with music and talk. The long-range vision is that it will be a sort of NPR for the Chickasaws. I would be the production director, conducting and editing interviews and stories. I'm excited and nervous at the possibilities. Froggy from "Our Gang" - LOL! Hadn't thought of him in many years. I'm sure it's not that bad, Stepper. Same for you, Gams. I don't mind if people don't sing like a pro, as long as they mean what they sing. Make me believe it, and I'm your fan. Last night, my sister and BIL brought me three fresh peaches from a local farmer. Ooooo, so good! And part of the pleasure was the juice running down my wrist with every bite.
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Post by Phalon on Sept 16, 2010 6:18:43 GMT -6
My harrowing experience of the day yesterday, was a near-death incident involving my car. Simple repairs, and routine maintenance...I almost died of shock when I saw the mechanic's bill.
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Post by Mini Mia on Sept 16, 2010 23:35:09 GMT -6
I nearly died of heat exhaustion today (yesterday), cause my a/c stopped cooling and my b-i-l has to get parts for it, so I'll most likely nearly die again tomorrow (today). Hence why I put the screens on my windows today. Hopefully the cats won't pull them all out before I can get the a/c back on. My house got up to 92! I'm just glad it isn't as hot as it was a few weeks ago. Windows without cat/dog guards/gates are cracked so low the outside cats can't get in, or my inside cat can't get out, should that happen. Windows with cat/dog guards/gates are open as wide as the gates will allow. That won't stop bugs though, so I'm hoping the screens stay in place.
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