Post by Forever Xena on May 2, 2006 7:18:43 GMT -6
Everyone's a loser on reality TV
Arguments, backstabbing, jealousy, combovers -- another reality TV week
By STEVE TILLEY -- Toronto Sun
American Idol's Kellie Pickler got bumped off the show in the highest non-finale vote ever.
You won't win by playing nice, or by playing dumb. You also won't win by being more experienced than your opponents, or by being smarter, or just by being yourself.
Basically, the essential lesson to be gleaned from this week's reality TV offerings is that everyone's a loser, baby. Except for those of us who can turn off the TV and go outside after we've had our daily dose of pseudo-unscripted drama. And if that's not worth a million bucks, what is?
# The Apprentice (tonight at 9, Global and NBC): Okay, I'm officially in love with Ivanka Trump. There is something so very sexy about smart girls. Who also happen to be, you know, incredibly hot and fantastically rich, too.
So any Ivanka episode of The Apprentice is a good episode, and last week had the added bonuses of an appearance by Donald Jr. (the spitting image of his dad, unfortunately), a tightly wound-up Allie leaving her notebook behind on Ellis Island, and nasty redhead Andrea getting fired for being -- and let's not mince words here -- a megabitch.
Tonight, the teams travel to Long Island to open hair salons (likely a ploy by The Donald to get a discount on hairspray for his combover), and sparks fly between Sean and Tammy. I smell a merger of the non-business variety.
# The Amazing Race (Wednesday at 8 p.m. on CBS and CTV): Kudos to oldsters Fran and Barry for breaking the mould and not being the genial, doddering seniors that we've seen in previous seasons of the race.
They were ruthless, they were focused, they were in first place two weeks ago ... and now they're done like dinner. A dinner of tough, leathery beef jerky.
But, hey, at least Fran and Barry's elimination in Australia means that the unfailingly entertaining hippies (how cute was that Bedouin guy they picked up?) are still in the running, currently sitting in third behind the powerhouse frat boys and the unraveling Team Mojo. Ray and Yolanda trail in last place.
This week, the Mojo vs. hippies rivalry heats up as the teams have to navigate a pool filled with snapping crocodiles, clearly a metaphor for their experiences with each other on the race. Or maybe, as Freud said, sometimes a pool of snapping crocodiles is just a pool of snapping crocodiles.
# American Idol (tomorrow at 8 p.m., Wednesday at 9 p.m., CTV and Fox): I used to maintain that the only good thing about American Idol was the early audition shows. But now I'm actually kind of attached to this lovable group of fame whores.
And that includes Kellie Pickler, who is either the sweetest and dumbest girl ever to come out of rural Hicksilania, or the shrewdest actress since Jessica Simpson pretended to think Buffalo wings were made from buffalo.
Whatever the case, Pickler got pickled after last week's 47.5 million votes were tallied, an American Idol record for a non-finale. Chris and Kat sat in the well-earned top two, while fifth-place Paris is in real jeopardy of getting punted this week if she doesn't blow away the audience.
# Survivor: Panama -- Exile Island (Thursday at 8 p.m., Global and CBS): Did the previews for last week's episode not suggest Terry was going to lose the immunity challenge? Lies, lies! Hurricane Terry continues to blow through challenges like ... it's probably too soon to make a New Orleans reference, right? Yeah, way too soon.
Crazy Courtney was the lamb offered up for sacrifice last week in a surprisingly divided vote, but the strategy was a sound one: Keep Court around, and whoever winds up on top for the final (ie. Terry) automatically picks her to go up against, because she's so loathed that it's a safe bet. Ditch her, and at least someone else has a shot of winning against Terry.
This week, Aras is offended by something, Shane cries at something and Terry wins immunity. Now go outside and play.
Arguments, backstabbing, jealousy, combovers -- another reality TV week
By STEVE TILLEY -- Toronto Sun
American Idol's Kellie Pickler got bumped off the show in the highest non-finale vote ever.
You won't win by playing nice, or by playing dumb. You also won't win by being more experienced than your opponents, or by being smarter, or just by being yourself.
Basically, the essential lesson to be gleaned from this week's reality TV offerings is that everyone's a loser, baby. Except for those of us who can turn off the TV and go outside after we've had our daily dose of pseudo-unscripted drama. And if that's not worth a million bucks, what is?
# The Apprentice (tonight at 9, Global and NBC): Okay, I'm officially in love with Ivanka Trump. There is something so very sexy about smart girls. Who also happen to be, you know, incredibly hot and fantastically rich, too.
So any Ivanka episode of The Apprentice is a good episode, and last week had the added bonuses of an appearance by Donald Jr. (the spitting image of his dad, unfortunately), a tightly wound-up Allie leaving her notebook behind on Ellis Island, and nasty redhead Andrea getting fired for being -- and let's not mince words here -- a megabitch.
Tonight, the teams travel to Long Island to open hair salons (likely a ploy by The Donald to get a discount on hairspray for his combover), and sparks fly between Sean and Tammy. I smell a merger of the non-business variety.
# The Amazing Race (Wednesday at 8 p.m. on CBS and CTV): Kudos to oldsters Fran and Barry for breaking the mould and not being the genial, doddering seniors that we've seen in previous seasons of the race.
They were ruthless, they were focused, they were in first place two weeks ago ... and now they're done like dinner. A dinner of tough, leathery beef jerky.
But, hey, at least Fran and Barry's elimination in Australia means that the unfailingly entertaining hippies (how cute was that Bedouin guy they picked up?) are still in the running, currently sitting in third behind the powerhouse frat boys and the unraveling Team Mojo. Ray and Yolanda trail in last place.
This week, the Mojo vs. hippies rivalry heats up as the teams have to navigate a pool filled with snapping crocodiles, clearly a metaphor for their experiences with each other on the race. Or maybe, as Freud said, sometimes a pool of snapping crocodiles is just a pool of snapping crocodiles.
# American Idol (tomorrow at 8 p.m., Wednesday at 9 p.m., CTV and Fox): I used to maintain that the only good thing about American Idol was the early audition shows. But now I'm actually kind of attached to this lovable group of fame whores.
And that includes Kellie Pickler, who is either the sweetest and dumbest girl ever to come out of rural Hicksilania, or the shrewdest actress since Jessica Simpson pretended to think Buffalo wings were made from buffalo.
Whatever the case, Pickler got pickled after last week's 47.5 million votes were tallied, an American Idol record for a non-finale. Chris and Kat sat in the well-earned top two, while fifth-place Paris is in real jeopardy of getting punted this week if she doesn't blow away the audience.
# Survivor: Panama -- Exile Island (Thursday at 8 p.m., Global and CBS): Did the previews for last week's episode not suggest Terry was going to lose the immunity challenge? Lies, lies! Hurricane Terry continues to blow through challenges like ... it's probably too soon to make a New Orleans reference, right? Yeah, way too soon.
Crazy Courtney was the lamb offered up for sacrifice last week in a surprisingly divided vote, but the strategy was a sound one: Keep Court around, and whoever winds up on top for the final (ie. Terry) automatically picks her to go up against, because she's so loathed that it's a safe bet. Ditch her, and at least someone else has a shot of winning against Terry.
This week, Aras is offended by something, Shane cries at something and Terry wins immunity. Now go outside and play.