Post by moonglum on Dec 11, 2011 12:33:01 GMT -6
The human brain is a totally remarkable piece of genetic engineering. It has the ability to work out quite complex and intricate mathematical problems, often faster than one could solve them using a computer or calculator. It also possesses something which neither of the above do, a sense of humour. This enables it, at times, to take a perfectly innocuous set of events, add them together and make a total horses ass out of it's owner.
Our story starts with the discovery by Vox, of an old shopping list hidden between the pages of a book. The list had obviously been used, as the items were crossed off or scribbled out.
“What are Hogans Wotnots?” Asked Vox.
“Haven't got a clue.” I replied. “Biscuits.......maybe. Or crisps (potato chips). Sounds like some kind of snack.”
And so the hunt for red october began. Friends, family, reference books and internet. All were consulted. All came up with the same answer.
“Never heard of them.” Zero, zilch, nil, nothing. Not one single reference to Hogans Wotnots could be found.
So. There was nothing for it but to begin an in-depth analysis of the list. In true forensic tradition, amid scenes that would not be out of place in an episode of CSI, we examined the paper. Ideas flowed thick and fast. First we photocopied the list to preserve the original. Then we subjected the copies to different filtrations of light, including sunlight and neon ultraviolet. We soaked copies in various liquids and dried them in different ways, then observed the results. Still no clue as to the meaning of Hogans Wotnots. Finally, using thinned down correction fluid applied by the tip of a needle, we painstakingly covered up all the crossing outs and scribbles leaving just the original words. And there it was, revealed at last, the true meaning of Hogans Wotnots …............................
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100gms Walnuts!
Our story starts with the discovery by Vox, of an old shopping list hidden between the pages of a book. The list had obviously been used, as the items were crossed off or scribbled out.
“What are Hogans Wotnots?” Asked Vox.
“Haven't got a clue.” I replied. “Biscuits.......maybe. Or crisps (potato chips). Sounds like some kind of snack.”
And so the hunt for red october began. Friends, family, reference books and internet. All were consulted. All came up with the same answer.
“Never heard of them.” Zero, zilch, nil, nothing. Not one single reference to Hogans Wotnots could be found.
So. There was nothing for it but to begin an in-depth analysis of the list. In true forensic tradition, amid scenes that would not be out of place in an episode of CSI, we examined the paper. Ideas flowed thick and fast. First we photocopied the list to preserve the original. Then we subjected the copies to different filtrations of light, including sunlight and neon ultraviolet. We soaked copies in various liquids and dried them in different ways, then observed the results. Still no clue as to the meaning of Hogans Wotnots. Finally, using thinned down correction fluid applied by the tip of a needle, we painstakingly covered up all the crossing outs and scribbles leaving just the original words. And there it was, revealed at last, the true meaning of Hogans Wotnots …............................
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100gms Walnuts!
I would never have figured it out.
