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Post by stepper on Feb 14, 2013 18:09:55 GMT -6
At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer. "If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of game administrators had been responsible for the flight control software how many of you would disembark immediately?" Among the ensuing forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard. With his team's administrator, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.
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Post by Phalon on Feb 15, 2013 6:50:35 GMT -6
<hands Stepper a shovel, stands back, and watches him dig a deeper hole>
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Post by stepper on Feb 15, 2013 16:37:39 GMT -6
It's taking way to long to get this done. I know what I need....MORE POWER!!
An artist, a lawyer, and a game admin are discussing the merits of having a lover. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce, bankruptcy. Not worth it. Too many problems. The game admin says "It's the best thing that's ever happened to me. My spouse thinks I'm with my lover. My lover thinks I'm home with my spouse, and I can spend all night on the computer!"
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Post by Spock on Feb 15, 2013 19:21:14 GMT -6
... "It's the best thing that's ever happened to me. My spouse thinks I'm with my lover. My lover thinks I'm home with my spouse, and I can spend all night on the computer!" Dang! Now why didn't I think of that sooner!!!
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Post by stepper on Feb 16, 2013 11:11:41 GMT -6
The true inspiration for a movie scene...
Gamer: I want some answers. Game Administrator: You want answers? Gamer: I think I'm entitled to them. Game Administrator: You want answers? Gamer: I want the truth! Game Administrator: You can't handle the truth! We live in a world that has Computers, and those Computers have to be connected by people with a clue. Who's gonna do it? You? You Gamers make me sick. I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for your characters and you curse the local Game Administrator. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that this network, while screwed up, and confusing to you, probably saved your game time. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves time. You don't want the truth, because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want us in this admin position. You need us in this admin position. We use words like DNS, LDAP, and SCRIPTS...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent playing with computers. You use 'em as a reason to whine. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a person who surfs and games under the blanket of the very network I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pickup a mouse and design your own game. Either way, I don't give a d@mn what you think you're entitled to! Gamer: Did you shutdown my thread? Game Administrator: You don't want to know. Gamer: Did you lock up my thread!? Game Administrator: You don't want to know. Gamer: Did you move my game to the cemetery!? Game Administrator: You're d@mn right I did!!!
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Post by stepper on Feb 17, 2013 23:04:29 GMT -6
When running a g@me, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
When you get to the point where you really understand your g@me, it's probably obsolete.
The first place to look for information is in the section of the help link where you least expect to find it. Never ask your g@me admin as he/she will not have bothered with looking at the help link either.
When the going gets tough, upgrade your PC.
For every g@mer, there is an equal and opposite g@me admin.
A complex g@me that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler g@me that worked just fine until a g@me admin started making suggestions.
A computer g@me program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
She/He who laughs last is probably the g@me admin who has just made up a new rule.
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Post by Phalon on Feb 18, 2013 7:42:05 GMT -6
<Phalon channeling Scrappy via day-old phone conversation>
Hey, whaddaya want....that day-old stuff is on the discount rack.
Scrappy: "LMAO. When I get a computer you're all in trouble. Next Survivor edition is going to be impossible to win!"
Now, look what you all went and did!
Actually, I don't how much of this thread she was able to see. She said threads with the word "game" are blocked, as are emoticons, so don't know if your "gaming" jokes are making it through, Stepper.
But go ahead...
Here's a back-hoe.
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Post by stepper on Feb 18, 2013 16:47:54 GMT -6
Phalon channeling Scrappy...I'm not sure I wanted to know that was possible.
Two g@me admins are talking over lunch. The first one says "You wouldn't believe what happened this morning. A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said 'Take whatever you want!' ... So I took the bike" The second one says "Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
Why do g@me admins usually mix up Halloween and Christmas? Because OCT 31 = DEC 25
A project manager, hardware engineer and g@me admin were in a car heading down a hill when the brakes failed. The driver managed to get it stopped by using the gears and a convenient dirt track.
All three jumped out and after peering under the car the hardware engineer said, "I see what the problem is and with this handy roll of duct tape I think I can fix it good enough to get us to the next town". The project manager quickly interrupted, "No, no, no. Before we do anything we need to decide on a vision for our future, figure out a plan and assign individual deliverables". At which point the g@me admin said, "You know what, I think we should push the car back up to the top of the hill and see if it happens again".
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Post by stepper on Feb 20, 2013 18:53:18 GMT -6
VARNING: MinnySoda Compewtr Virus
Ve haf just sent you da NORVEGIAN VIRUS. Since ve do not haf any programming experience and do not know how to actually demage your computir, dis Virus verks on da honor system. Please forward dis Virus to eferyvone on your mailing list and den manually delete all of da files on your hard drive.
Tank you for your cooperation,
Sven and Ole, Da MinnySoda Gaime Adwins
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Post by Spock on Feb 20, 2013 21:17:23 GMT -6
The Amish Virus
You have just received the Amish Virus. Since we have no electricity or computers, you are on the honor system. Please delete all of the files on your hard drive. Then forward this message to everyone in your address book.
Thank thee.
Jebediah
[Hmm, at least it isn't self-replicating ... Spock]
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Post by stepper on Feb 21, 2013 18:01:33 GMT -6
Top ten signs the last person to sell you a computer was a G@me Admin
10. Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch" on it.
9. It's celebrity spokesman is that "Hey Vern!" guy.
8. In order to start it, you need some jumper cables and a friend's car.
7. It's slogan is "Pentium: redefining mathematics".
6. The "quick reference" manual is 120 pages long.
5. Whenever you turn it on, all the dogs in your neighborhood start howling.
4. The screen often displays the message, "Ain't it break time yet?"
3. The manual contains only one sentence: "Good Luck!"
2. You've decided that your computer is an excellent addition to your fabulous paperweight collection.
1. The only chip inside is a Dorito.
A doctor, a civil engineer and a g@me admin are discussing whose profession is the oldest. “Surely medicine is the oldest profession,” says the doctor. “God took a rib from Adam and created Eve and if this isn’t medicine I’ll be…” The civil engineer breaks in: “But before that He created the heavens and the earth from chaos. Now that’s civil engineering to me.” The g@me admin thinks a bit and then says: “And who do you think created chaos?”
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Post by stepper on Feb 28, 2013 18:44:34 GMT -6
Santa is a Game Admin
I was musing on similarities between Santa Claus and game administrators.
Consider:
1. Santa is bearded, corpulent, and dresses funny.
2. When you ask Santa for something, the odds of receiving what you wanted are infinitesimal.
3. Santa seldom answers your mail.
4. When you ask Santa where he gets all the stuff he's got, he says, "Elves make it for me."
5. Santa doesn't care about your deadlines.
6. Your parents ascribed supernatural powers to Santa, but did all the work themselves.
7. Nobody knows who Santa has to answer to for his actions.
8. Santa laughs entirely too much.
9. Santa thinks nothing of breaking into your $HOME.
10. Only a lunatic says bad things about Santa in his presence.
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