I didn't cry when my parents passed but I have been known to shed tears when one of our pets passes. Odd that. I also have been known to cry during specific parts of certain movies. Again odd.
Contrary to popular belief, guys do cry. I think I hold it in as long as possible and then cry when it will be least distressful for others.
I remember having a particularly distressful dream once where something disastrous happened to my wife. I woke up bawling and immediately hugged her to me.
My thoughts are with you. I don't know of anything I can personally do that may help but, if you can think of anything, please let me know and I will do my best.
Something you might want to try to do is create an "In Living Memory of" page for your mother. If you can get it going and get enough relatives to respond in time, you could then share it with her. It will let her know what others think of her and may even open your eyes to things you didn't know but will be happy to learn. I did this for both my parents but started too late, so neither got to see their pages.
User Notes huh, must remember to thank Mini-Mia for letting me know about this field.
Thanks, everyone. Mom did get a card in the mail today from her Church 'family.' (It's a small Church, so a lot of us are related in some way or the other.) I read it to her but she had a blank look on her face. I handed her the card and she didn't give it any special consideration. Her moments come and go. I really hope it's something as simple as her medicine.
I have been known to shed tears when one of our pets passes.
Every single time - but pets are/were our kids. Mom told all of us that we were not allowed to die before her - she'd dealt with it once and didn't want to face that again. I tried telling the pets the same thing but none of them listened. Darn it.
I really hope it's something as simple as her medicine
I hope so too, but of course that's something to call the doctor about on Monday, and if that's it, the next question is "Who's going to manage her meds so that we stop doing detrimental things to her?" It's their job to do no harm.
I can't believe how many things we are still waiting for that haven't come yet.
I held on to December bank statements with their YTD interest, downloaded the W-2’s via the web, reportable interest on insurance policies statement comes in February (the official version arrived about a week ago); except for one Credit Union statement I’m good to go. I went through all the checks and kept track of the donations and amounts, used the IRS web site to calculate the sales tax deduction, and with all that information, estimated the tax return. It’s not 100%, but it’s close.
Oh-my-gosh, thanks! Listing what you did and are still waiting for, triggered a reminder that I've got to get a 10something-or-other form from the college that I completely forgot we need.
We're not even attempting to do our own taxes this year (something that Hubs is finding hard to let go of, because he's always done the taxes), but the sale of Mom's house is going to be a tax nightmare.
I understand about wanting to do your own taxes. Be sure to have receipts for anything you did pertaining to getting the house ready for sale. Since you didn’t live there you may be able to deduct the expenses. Stuff like replacing the concrete cover could be a deductible expense.
Whoo-hoo. I was pleasantly surprised, and it did go in my favor!
<huge sigh of relief>
I'm so glad things are working out for you. Parents spend so much time sacrificing for their children. My parents, and maybe yours too, came out of the depression. To them, owning a home meant a lot - it was a major symbol of 'making it', and passing that home on to their children was equally important. The thought that the home in question would cost a fortune in estate taxes or any other kind of expense was a major concern - especially as congress was always looking for a way to get more tax money. It was so much a concern that my mother executed a legal document that transferred the house and all her property to one of my brothers who was still in NJ. The effect was that he owned everything so there were no estate taxes at all.
The effect was that he owned everything so there were no estate taxes at all.
It sounds like a quit claim deed or something similar. With a quit claim deed, the owner of the property quits their claim to the property and the deed transfers to someone else. Mom did a quit claim, naming us three kids as owners before she died, and my brother quit his claim on the house before he died leaving my other brother and I as the only ones on the deed - so there was never any inheritance tax on Mom's house either.
There was a third quit claim deed done though. Last spring, I had my brother do a quit claim, leaving me the sole owner of the house; due to some financial issues he had, I did not want any creditors putting liens on the house before we put it up for sale. It was the only way I knew to keep that house "safe", but that left me as the sole owner, losing any primary residence status (it was my brother's primary residence, so when he was on the deed, it was taxed as such; non-homesteaded properties are taxed at a much higher rate). In addition, when it sold, I have to report the entire amount (even though I gave him half of the proceeds) as capital gains income on my taxes.
What saved me though, (and I didn't know it at the time), was a modest home equity loan I took out on the house to get my brother's finances in order, and for any expenses needed to sell the house. Of course, any time you take out a home-equity loan, the bank requires an appraisal. When I put the house up for sale, I had it listed "as is" - I wasn't going to pour a ton of money into it for all the updates that were needed; I also dropped the price slightly from the original listing, because at first we weren't getting any decent offers.
Though it sold at my asking price, the price was under the appraisal price. Technically, instead of a capital gains, it was a loss. As far as the IRS is concerned, (thank god, I have all the paperwork to back it up), it's a wash.
Lesson learned...always get a professional appraisal (not a realtor's appraisal). So many people told me not to pay for an appraisal because it's really not needed with real estate comps and all that, and if not for the loan, I wouldn't have. Turns out it saved my butt in taxes.
It was the only way I knew to keep that house "safe", but that left me as the sole owner, losing any primary residence status (it was my brother's primary residence, so when he was on the deed, it was taxed as such; non-homesteaded properties are taxed at a much higher rate). In addition, when it sold, I have to report the entire amount (even though I gave him half of the proceeds) as capital gains income on my taxes.
Homesteading here excludes some of the value of the house which reduces the taxes, but it doesn't make a significant difference.
Technically, instead of a capital gains, it was a loss. As far as the IRS is concerned, (thank god, I have all the paperwork to back it up), it's a wash.
Lesson learned...always get a professional appraisal (not a realtor's appraisal).
Way to go Phalon! I'm so glad it all worked out for you.
(All possible offensiveness contained in the following is in character of the caricature stereotype and in no way is intended as a non-stereotypical caricature portrayal of the personalities represented, and is not necessarily the opinion of this poster. Neither is it intended to represent the views of management of this board, of which views I am unaware. Or something like that. In addition, to avoid any possible claims of plagiarism, the following jokes shall be contained within quotation marks, and credit shall be given to the site from whence they came: www.jokerz.com/cross-the-road-jokes/all/6 )
"DONALD TRUMP: All Mexican chickens who wish to cross this road must submit to a complete background check, and full body search.
BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.
JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: The chicken got hit by a car and died. What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken was gay. If you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
Tim Cook: We've just released iChicken, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, enhance your Apple TV experience and improve your iLove life. iChicken can be controlled from your iWatch and goes well with iMac and Cheese. After your 30 day free-trial of iChicken you will be billed using Apple Pay for your iCash.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
It's about highways/pavements ... they break up the free range ground and set up limitations on which side of the tracks are the wrong side and the right side. If there were no 'lines' drawn in the sand we would all be equal. I stand for equality.
Yeppers. That's what I had in mind. No fences or highways or roads or lines of any kind.