Post by moonglum on Nov 16, 2017 12:47:09 GMT -6
#1 The Wedding Ring
Men take off their wedding rings for a variety of reasons. Deception, cleanliness, medical reasons or, as in my case, safety. When first starting out on the road to becoming the Great Engineer, I saw some pretty horrific safety films whilst attending various courses. The ones that made me cringe a lot, were the ones involving rings being caught in machinery and ripping off layers of skin and sometimes whole fingers. So, the ring came off. Originally just in the time I was at work, but after a while, all the time.
The years rolled gently by and eventually I retired. Now was the time when I could finally relax. Pop down the pub, join a club, meet new people.
“Why don't you wear your wedding ring again?”
It was at this point, dear reader, that alarm bells should have rung, but, what do I know. I'm just a man who, even after (stops typing to count on fingers) 43 years of marriage, still doesn't understand women.
“Oh, I don't know luv.”
“You really should try it on you know.”
There was a tapping noise coming from somewhere. I think it was a foot!
“It's been 40....something years, it probably won't fit anymore.” I replied.
“Just try it on!” The tapping seemed to be getting louder.
“Oh, alright. Where is it?”
Now there is a point in any conversation between the sexes where, if one is not careful and if one says the wrong thing, then one is likely to incur the wrath of ones partner. I looked at my darling and realised I had inadvertently strayed some way past that point.
“It's in my jewellery box.” Vox said between gritted teeth. Her powers of ventriloquism were certainly improving.
We located the said ring and I tried it on. It slid tightly past the first knuckle and stopped, stubbornly at the second. Try as I might I couldn't manage to get the thing past that second one.
“It's no good, I can't get it all the way on. Even if I could, I wouldn't be able to get it off again.”
“And why would you want to take it off again!”
It was at this point that the imaginary hole beneath my feet opened up, and imaginery or not, it is still bl**dy deep.
“Well....I.....Don't.......I love you,” I stammered.
So it seems we are off to buy me a new wedding ring.
Men take off their wedding rings for a variety of reasons. Deception, cleanliness, medical reasons or, as in my case, safety. When first starting out on the road to becoming the Great Engineer, I saw some pretty horrific safety films whilst attending various courses. The ones that made me cringe a lot, were the ones involving rings being caught in machinery and ripping off layers of skin and sometimes whole fingers. So, the ring came off. Originally just in the time I was at work, but after a while, all the time.
The years rolled gently by and eventually I retired. Now was the time when I could finally relax. Pop down the pub, join a club, meet new people.
“Why don't you wear your wedding ring again?”
It was at this point, dear reader, that alarm bells should have rung, but, what do I know. I'm just a man who, even after (stops typing to count on fingers) 43 years of marriage, still doesn't understand women.
“Oh, I don't know luv.”
“You really should try it on you know.”
There was a tapping noise coming from somewhere. I think it was a foot!
“It's been 40....something years, it probably won't fit anymore.” I replied.
“Just try it on!” The tapping seemed to be getting louder.
“Oh, alright. Where is it?”
Now there is a point in any conversation between the sexes where, if one is not careful and if one says the wrong thing, then one is likely to incur the wrath of ones partner. I looked at my darling and realised I had inadvertently strayed some way past that point.
“It's in my jewellery box.” Vox said between gritted teeth. Her powers of ventriloquism were certainly improving.
We located the said ring and I tried it on. It slid tightly past the first knuckle and stopped, stubbornly at the second. Try as I might I couldn't manage to get the thing past that second one.
“It's no good, I can't get it all the way on. Even if I could, I wouldn't be able to get it off again.”
“And why would you want to take it off again!”
It was at this point that the imaginary hole beneath my feet opened up, and imaginery or not, it is still bl**dy deep.
“Well....I.....Don't.......I love you,” I stammered.
So it seems we are off to buy me a new wedding ring.
Or perhaps he has a jewelry allergy. 
I wasn't nosy enough to ask. 
