Post by Forever Xena on Aug 6, 2005 1:14:47 GMT -6
Does nanny know best?
Television's `Nanny 911' and `Supernanny' highlight typical child-raising challenges, but experts voice cautions for parents
By Susan Gilbert
New York Times News Service
Published August 4, 2005
The five Priore children were kicking, pinching and screaming at one another on television. The decibel level rose when Joe Priore, their father, shouted for them to stop and then proceeded to spank them, assembly-line style.
"The screaming, the yelling--this is not a happy home," said Nina Priore, their mother, her hand shaking.
The Priores had sought help from "Nanny 911," a reality show on Fox that began last fall. The show dispatched Stella Reid, a matronly British nanny, to their house in Long Island. A week later, the children were well-mannered, the parents were calm and all appeared to be well.
The prescription? Stop spanking and yelling. Have a "rewards board" as an incentive for good behavior. Spend quality time together.
The Priores are among the dozens of American families who have had parenting makeovers on "Nanny 911" or "Supernanny," a similar program that made its debut in January on ABC.
The shows, both of which have been renewed for next season, are popular among parents. But pediatricians and other child development experts say they are only partly rooted in reality.
The discipline challenges presented on the shows are in some ways typical of those parents face, and much of the advice is based on the same techniques the experts themselves use.
But some advice is simplistic or questionable, the experts say, and the families in the shows appear extreme, their children more out of control than those in most American families. Some doctors also worry that endings may not be as happy as they seem and that appearing on the shows may leave some children with emotional bruises.
"The lack of consent of the children concerns me," said Dr. Deborah Borchers, a pediatrician in private practice in Cincinnati and a member of the American Academy of Pediatrics committee on early childhood adoption and dependent care. "As the children get older, they'll watch the videotape of the shows of them being portrayed as brats, and they'll be embarrassed."
Evelina Gorbea, whose family was on "Supernanny" in March, said she and her children found some aspects of the experience difficult.
Gorbea said her family was recruited for the show in a shopping mall in Los Angeles, after a scout saw her son, Adam, then 2, running away from her. Before the show, she said, she had never considered seeking advice for Adam's difficult behavior. "I figured it was a stage and it would pass," she said.
At first, Gorbea said, her children were excited about appearing on the show, "but after a while they were getting exhausted."
She added that she was unprepared for the negative way that her family appeared.
Experts praise the shows for tackling real-life discipline problems: how to wean toddlers from bottles to cups; how to get children to go to bed and stay there; how to defuse tantrums, minimize sibling rivalry and get children to clean their plates and their rooms.
What is unrealistic, the experts say, is the level of the children's rudeness and wildness.
"I've been working with parents for 25 years, and the families on these shows definitely are not typical," said Nancy Samalin, a parent educator in Manhattan and the author of "Loving Without Spoiling and 100 Other Timeless Tips for Raising Terrific Kids."
Sometimes the producers might ask the parents to explain more clearly on camera something that they learned.
Such commentaries are especially valuable to the parents who watch the shows, said Dr. Suzanne Dixon, a behavioral pediatrician in Great Falls, Mont., and the editor of The Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics. "I write on prescription forms, `Watch Supernanny,"' Dixon said.
