Post by Forever Xena on Dec 12, 2005 10:39:58 GMT -6
Hardest 'Survivor' Ever Comes to a Close
By Lisa B. Jenkins
Sunday, December 11, 2005
11:59 PM PT
The final four -- Rafe, Stephenie, Danni and Lydia -- are in place, and the Survivors allow themselves those warm fuzzy moments the last episode is known for (Slo Mo Tribute to Fallen Survivors being another, but more on that later). It's sitcom-style love all around. Lydia fetches the mail and breathlessly reads it aloud. The Survivor editors throw in a shot over her shoulder at the letter just in time for her to mispronounce "sacred" as "scared."
Here's our first Prozac moment: editors, we'll miss you.
Native Guatemalans, descendants of the Maya, mosey into camp bearing foodstuffs and a chicken. Steph's eyes go wide. "Do we get to eat that?" she whispers. And then, when the chicken's head has been ceremoniously pulled off and tossed into the fire, she asks again, "Is it dead?" Not content to leave well enough alone, she bullies Lydia into asking the natives if they can eat the burnt chicken carcass. The answer is, ahem, absolutely not. Although Steph probably ate more and better than anyone else this season, she is clearly two steps from pushing one of the Guatemalans into the campfire and devouring them whole.
Our fantastic four head to immunity, and Jeff Probst explains it is the Most. Complex. Survivor. Maze. Ever. It does look elaborate, with a water hazard and ladders and rope bridges, oh my! It takes so long to watch it one can only imagine how long it took to play. The Survivors race through the maze, collecting puzzle pieces, Rafe and Steph in the lead. When it's time to assemble the puzzle you can practically see the panic in Steph's eyes and Rafe nails it for the win.
Tribal council is that night, and Steph starts in on Rafe about the two of them going to the final two. She wants Danni out, since Lydia is "guaranteed" not to win immunity next challenge. But Rafe promised Danni a shot at the final three -- as she in turn promised him final two if she could swing it -- so he's torn.
Stephenie interrupts this decision with a culinary newsflash. Hello people, there is a bbq'd chicken leftover from the Maya sacrifice, not crawling with ants too badly yet, and they're all freakin' hungry. She and Lydia snatch it from the ceremonial fire and start ripping into it, Danni finally joins in, but it makes Rafe feel icky inside. "The ritual was about not eating the chicken," he declares. And, in a surging moment of Rafe love, we concur. A moment later the sky goes black and a biblical-style thunderstorm practically drowns the camp. Guess the gods are not fans of eating family style.
At tribal council the jurors are as catty as can be without actually speaking; lots of eyes rolled and head shakes. You can smell the acrid scent of burnt bridges a mile away. Can't wait for final tribal council! But here, now, tonight, someone is going home. And that person is Lydia.
Lydia, ye of the flying below radar, the funny dances, the corn grinding, the losing challenges: you did eff all and it's a miracle you made it this far. Vaya con dios, and big ups to your classy, huggy, I-love-you-guys exit.
So you know what this means. Cue the filtered lens. First, we have the Slo Mo Tribute to Fallen Survivors. Forgettable Brooke! Hunky Blake! Snarky Brian (this viewer's fave)! Cussin' Amy! The gang is all here. Sniff.
Second, we have another favorite on deck: the endurance challenge. This is the momma of all challenges, simple yet brutal, and brings back some happy memories of "Survivor" past. Shii Ann winning immunity on "All Stars"? Richard Hatch deliberately stepping off his post in the final immunity challenge of season one? Good stuff.
In this version, the three have to balance on a plank. At first they have two ropes to hang onto. Jeff takes one of the ropes away and like dominos the Survivors fall. No one actually hits the ground, though; they find ways to wedge themselves against the frame of the contraption, feet still on the plank. When the next rope goes the real sweating begins. Rafe adjusts himself and touches the frame, disqualifying himself. Stephenie is clearly in pain, ever so slowly sliding down so she's almost to the ground. Danni is kicked back, looking relaxed and unconcerned, like she's about to bust out with a nail file to fill the time. Steph goes down and starts bawling. Rafe and Danni run over to comfort her, and Rafe releases Danni from any promises she made to him about the final two. He will not shut up about it, and the sweet gesture quickly becomes a passive aggressive one.
As the jury files into that night's tribal council there are joyous smiles and laughing. They could not be more psyched Danni is wearing the necklace. Danni realizes her choice is between her heart, Rafe, and her head, Steph. She goes with her head. Though he had his annoying moments -- hello, Axis of Evil member? -- it's sad to see Rafe go. More so than most he played with as much integrity and humility as is possible in the game.
Steph and Danni return the next evening at nightfall where they present their opening arguments. God love 'em, but neither are exactly what you might call great orators. The jury gets to ask their questions and despite the delicious undercurrent of hate evident at previous councils it's pretty much softball. A lot of "are you proud of how you played the game?" and "what would you have done different?" Rafe gets up and practically campaigns for Steph, destroying much of the puppies-and-unicorns goodwill he'd engendered earlier. Thankfully, Judd mixes it up a little, accusing Danni of skating along to the final two and then getting into a little spat with Steph (always fun to watch inarticulate people argue). But it's no "snakes and rats" speech, sadly.
At the conclusion of voting Jeff takes the votes, climbs into a helicopter and flies to CBS in LA. CBS must employ a make up artist who applies the stuff with a trowel. Danni and Steph are practically unrecognizable, all pretty. fluffy hair and shiny, shiny lips.
As the votes are read it is really no surprise: Danni by a landslide. Rafe was the only one who voted for Stephenie (bitter much?). And so we bring this season of "Survivor" to a close, with a winner who played the game well, worked her butt off and was not totally detestable ... even if she is a little too pretty, dang it.
By Lisa B. Jenkins
Sunday, December 11, 2005
11:59 PM PT
The final four -- Rafe, Stephenie, Danni and Lydia -- are in place, and the Survivors allow themselves those warm fuzzy moments the last episode is known for (Slo Mo Tribute to Fallen Survivors being another, but more on that later). It's sitcom-style love all around. Lydia fetches the mail and breathlessly reads it aloud. The Survivor editors throw in a shot over her shoulder at the letter just in time for her to mispronounce "sacred" as "scared."
Here's our first Prozac moment: editors, we'll miss you.
Native Guatemalans, descendants of the Maya, mosey into camp bearing foodstuffs and a chicken. Steph's eyes go wide. "Do we get to eat that?" she whispers. And then, when the chicken's head has been ceremoniously pulled off and tossed into the fire, she asks again, "Is it dead?" Not content to leave well enough alone, she bullies Lydia into asking the natives if they can eat the burnt chicken carcass. The answer is, ahem, absolutely not. Although Steph probably ate more and better than anyone else this season, she is clearly two steps from pushing one of the Guatemalans into the campfire and devouring them whole.
Our fantastic four head to immunity, and Jeff Probst explains it is the Most. Complex. Survivor. Maze. Ever. It does look elaborate, with a water hazard and ladders and rope bridges, oh my! It takes so long to watch it one can only imagine how long it took to play. The Survivors race through the maze, collecting puzzle pieces, Rafe and Steph in the lead. When it's time to assemble the puzzle you can practically see the panic in Steph's eyes and Rafe nails it for the win.
Tribal council is that night, and Steph starts in on Rafe about the two of them going to the final two. She wants Danni out, since Lydia is "guaranteed" not to win immunity next challenge. But Rafe promised Danni a shot at the final three -- as she in turn promised him final two if she could swing it -- so he's torn.
Stephenie interrupts this decision with a culinary newsflash. Hello people, there is a bbq'd chicken leftover from the Maya sacrifice, not crawling with ants too badly yet, and they're all freakin' hungry. She and Lydia snatch it from the ceremonial fire and start ripping into it, Danni finally joins in, but it makes Rafe feel icky inside. "The ritual was about not eating the chicken," he declares. And, in a surging moment of Rafe love, we concur. A moment later the sky goes black and a biblical-style thunderstorm practically drowns the camp. Guess the gods are not fans of eating family style.
At tribal council the jurors are as catty as can be without actually speaking; lots of eyes rolled and head shakes. You can smell the acrid scent of burnt bridges a mile away. Can't wait for final tribal council! But here, now, tonight, someone is going home. And that person is Lydia.
Lydia, ye of the flying below radar, the funny dances, the corn grinding, the losing challenges: you did eff all and it's a miracle you made it this far. Vaya con dios, and big ups to your classy, huggy, I-love-you-guys exit.
So you know what this means. Cue the filtered lens. First, we have the Slo Mo Tribute to Fallen Survivors. Forgettable Brooke! Hunky Blake! Snarky Brian (this viewer's fave)! Cussin' Amy! The gang is all here. Sniff.
Second, we have another favorite on deck: the endurance challenge. This is the momma of all challenges, simple yet brutal, and brings back some happy memories of "Survivor" past. Shii Ann winning immunity on "All Stars"? Richard Hatch deliberately stepping off his post in the final immunity challenge of season one? Good stuff.
In this version, the three have to balance on a plank. At first they have two ropes to hang onto. Jeff takes one of the ropes away and like dominos the Survivors fall. No one actually hits the ground, though; they find ways to wedge themselves against the frame of the contraption, feet still on the plank. When the next rope goes the real sweating begins. Rafe adjusts himself and touches the frame, disqualifying himself. Stephenie is clearly in pain, ever so slowly sliding down so she's almost to the ground. Danni is kicked back, looking relaxed and unconcerned, like she's about to bust out with a nail file to fill the time. Steph goes down and starts bawling. Rafe and Danni run over to comfort her, and Rafe releases Danni from any promises she made to him about the final two. He will not shut up about it, and the sweet gesture quickly becomes a passive aggressive one.
As the jury files into that night's tribal council there are joyous smiles and laughing. They could not be more psyched Danni is wearing the necklace. Danni realizes her choice is between her heart, Rafe, and her head, Steph. She goes with her head. Though he had his annoying moments -- hello, Axis of Evil member? -- it's sad to see Rafe go. More so than most he played with as much integrity and humility as is possible in the game.
Steph and Danni return the next evening at nightfall where they present their opening arguments. God love 'em, but neither are exactly what you might call great orators. The jury gets to ask their questions and despite the delicious undercurrent of hate evident at previous councils it's pretty much softball. A lot of "are you proud of how you played the game?" and "what would you have done different?" Rafe gets up and practically campaigns for Steph, destroying much of the puppies-and-unicorns goodwill he'd engendered earlier. Thankfully, Judd mixes it up a little, accusing Danni of skating along to the final two and then getting into a little spat with Steph (always fun to watch inarticulate people argue). But it's no "snakes and rats" speech, sadly.
At the conclusion of voting Jeff takes the votes, climbs into a helicopter and flies to CBS in LA. CBS must employ a make up artist who applies the stuff with a trowel. Danni and Steph are practically unrecognizable, all pretty. fluffy hair and shiny, shiny lips.
As the votes are read it is really no surprise: Danni by a landslide. Rafe was the only one who voted for Stephenie (bitter much?). And so we bring this season of "Survivor" to a close, with a winner who played the game well, worked her butt off and was not totally detestable ... even if she is a little too pretty, dang it.