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Post by LMV's Old Account on Mar 28, 2006 16:54:56 GMT -6
loving the quotes people MWAH *chases Phalon around the boards*
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Post by LMV's Old Account on Mar 28, 2006 17:11:55 GMT -6
im feeling lovey dovey coz of kim so there may be a few love quotes in this post
I have never regretted falling in love with anyone. I have lived and learned from everyone I know, and loved. I would not change a thing.
Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper.
Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment.
My feelings for you no words can tell, Except for maybe "Go to hell."
Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
Be glad of life, because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.
Even when I glimpse you for a moment, my tongue is stilled as speech deserts me, while a delicate fire is beneath my skin.
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Post by fallenangel on Mar 29, 2006 8:20:11 GMT -6
Develop a built-in bullsh*t detector.~ Ernest Hemingway
Many receive advice, only the wise profit from it.~Harper Lee
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Post by LMV's Old Account on Mar 30, 2006 3:05:52 GMT -6
This is a selection of my favorite witty putdowns and quotes from famous people.
His mouth is a no-go area. It's like kissing the Berlin Wall - Helena Bonhem Carter on Woody Allen
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. - Henry Kissinger
He has a face like a Saint - A Saint Bernard. - Unknown
A fellow with the inventiveness of Albert Einstien, but with the attention span of Daffy Duck. - Tom Shale on Robin Williams
If I found her floating in my pool, I'd punish my dog. - Joan Rivers on Yoko Ono
God does not play dice with the universe. - Albert Einstien
She is as wholesome as a bowl of cornflakes and at least as sexy. - Dwight McDonald on Doris Day
If you can't convince them, confuse them. - President Harry S Truman
Print FREE Coupons
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. - W C Fields
He had the compassion of an icicle and the generosity of a pawnbroker. - S J Perelman on Groucho Marx
Avoid all needle drugs. The only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon. - Abbey Hoffman
Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder? - Don Rickles
Breasts like Granite and a brain like Swiss Cheese - Billy Wilder on Marilyn Monroe
The thief of bad gags. - Walter Winchell on Milton Berne
I've noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born - Ronald Reagan
He's proof that there's life after death. - Mort Sahl on Ronald Reagan
The only genius with an IQ of 60. - Gore Vidal on Andy Warhol
He's so ugly they ought to donate his face to the world wildlife fund. - Muhammad Ali on Joe Frazier
She's so stupid she returns bowling balls because they've got holes in them. - Joan Rivers on Bo Derek
Are You Single?
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program. - Bob Wells
Can't act. Slightly bald. Can dance a little. - Screen Tester on Fred Astaire
An empty suit that goes to funerals and plays golf. - Ross Perot on Dan Quayle
Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed on Marlon Brando
He could start a row in an empty house - Sir Alex Ferguson on footballer Dennis Wise
When Kissinger can get the Nobel Peace Prize, what is there left for satire? - Tom Lehrer on Henry Kissinger
Shaw writes his plays for the ages, the ages between five and twelve. - George Nathan on George Bernard Shaw
He is to acting what Liberace was to pumping iron. - Rex Reed on Sylvester Stallone
What makes him think a middle aged actor, who's played with a chimp, could have a future in politics? - Ronald Reagan commenting on Eastwood's bid to become mayor of Carmel
Better a witty fool than a foolish wit. - Shakespeare
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Post by Phalon on Mar 30, 2006 7:10:04 GMT -6
I like the "Print Free Coupons", and "Are you single" quotes.
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Post by fallenangel on Mar 30, 2006 9:59:00 GMT -6
Laughter is America's most important export.~ Walt Disney
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Post by LMV's Old Account on Mar 30, 2006 18:17:41 GMT -6
lol hehe i thought i would leave them in there to see if someone would notice *chases phalon around the room for being so smart*
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Post by fallenangel on Mar 30, 2006 19:14:23 GMT -6
Sanity is a cozy lie. ~ Susan Sontag
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Post by LMV's Old Account on Mar 31, 2006 15:20:24 GMT -6
He's ruined his own health drinking to everyone else's.
He bores me. He ought to have stuck to his flying machines. Auguste Renoir (1841-1919) on Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519)
Marriage - a friendship recognised by the police. Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-94) on marriage
... a pig, an ass, a dunghill, the spawn of an adder, a basilisk, a lying buffoon, a mad fool with a frothy mouth. Martin Luther (1483-1546) on Henry VIII (1491-1547)
Alvanley - who's your fat friend? George Beau Brummel (1778-1840), British dandy, of George IV (1762-1830)
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Post by Phalon on Apr 1, 2006 23:12:01 GMT -6
"...there is no one-and-only, there are just only-and-only moments. The one-and-only moments are justified. One comes to realize that there is no permanent pure-relationship and there should not be. It is not even something to be desired. The pure relationship is limited, in space and in time. Its essence it implies exclusion. It excludes the rest of life, other relationships, other sides of personality, other responsibilites, other possiblilites in the future. It excludes growth." ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh
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Post by LMV's Old Account on Apr 1, 2006 23:13:51 GMT -6
oh that was a very good quote
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Post by Siren on Apr 1, 2006 23:20:14 GMT -6
See, Gams? And you wanted to give that book away. Shamey, shamey!
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Post by Phalon on Apr 1, 2006 23:26:23 GMT -6
ACK! Oh shoot, Siren. It's been buried here on my desk for weeks! Actually, I forgot about it until a stack of stuff fell over and there it was!
I had a couple of pages marked because I liked the writing and I'll probably post them here, and then get the book off to you!
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Post by Siren on Apr 1, 2006 23:30:15 GMT -6
No, no - please keep it. And keep those quotes coming!
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Post by Phalon on Apr 1, 2006 23:36:48 GMT -6
No - please you take it. I didn't like it, actually - for every beautiful uplifting passage she writes, the following paragraph seems to be a negative clarification.
She just seemed quite unhappy with her life - the trappings of wealth, society, and being in the spot-light.
Some good stuff in there though.
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Post by LMV's Old Account on Apr 1, 2006 23:42:50 GMT -6
Will: Wow, it smells really bad in your room. Trent: It's my roommate! It just sucks when I want to bring a girl over, which doesn't happen often. Will: Wait, modify that sentence so that it's true. Trent: It just sucks when I want to bring a girl over, which is never. -On the hard truth of college hookups
Sam: Oh, but her neighbor is such a MILF! Effie: Hell yeah, a MILF and a DILF live there. John: What?? A dog I'd like to @#$k?! -John, taking acronyms to a whole new level
Stevie: AHH, look I'm mentioned on the skool board HOLLER MOTHER F@&*#@g BACK! Rachel: Okay, seriously Stevie, you're the whitest girl I've ever met, it's just sad. Stevie: Whatever I have more black in me than you! Ryan: F@*#$@g a black guy at a drunken party doesn't count. Stevie: Son of a b@*&h.... -Bummer
"The stupid bookstore offered me one dollar for that book! I could burn it and save more money from the heat it radiates than what the bookstore will give me!" -Christy, on the warmth of bookstores
Poulson is a classic example of someone who has a stick shoved so far up his butt that there are still branches and squirrels attached." -Annie, speaking her mind during a particularly boring economics lecture
Oscar: You are very high. Tyler: Yeah, how'd you know? Oscar: I mean you...very tall. Tyler: Wow, you're right again. -Having fun with foreigners
Tony: Dude, those chicks are bisexual!! Gary: I'M bisexual!! Shit, I mean...dammit, there's no way out of this, is there? -Gary, learning the hard way when to quit digging
Meagan: Eww who farted? That stinks. Katie: I think it's just the paint. Meagan: It's fumeless paint Katie... Katie: Ooh...well, this is just awkward. -Trying to cover a fart while painting
Cracker: Putting a teleporter in a teleporter would invert the world. Ibenez: That's the key to going to the future! Putting a teleporter IN a teleporter ON opposite day. -Solving time travel
Jackie: Which do you like better, pandas or moose? Mark: Pandas, because moose are mean and dumb. Jackie: That's racist! Mark: Nah, because pandas are Chinese and moose are American...sometimes Canadian. -Coloring the animal kingdom black and white
Scott: She's looking good now. Scott's mom: I know, I'm hopeful, maybe now she can find a boyfriend, get laid, and stop being such a terrible uncontrollable shrew to everybody, your father and I included. We can barely stand her. Scott's sister: I HATE YOU SOOOO MUCH RIGHT NOW!!! -Discovering that the cell speakerphone was still on
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Post by LMV's Old Account on Apr 1, 2006 23:43:23 GMT -6
"We found a garden gnome. We didn't steal it. We liberated it. We named it Hildegard. Any questions?" -Morgan, on the random gnome in her apartment
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Post by fallenangel on Apr 2, 2006 10:09:51 GMT -6
Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. ~Marion C. Garretty
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Post by Phalon on Apr 2, 2006 21:35:29 GMT -6
"Thoughts, rest your wings. Here is a hollow of silence, a nest of stillness, in which to hatch your dreams." ~ Joan Walsh Anglund
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Post by fallenangel on Apr 4, 2006 11:55:19 GMT -6
Dreams are the touchstones of our character~Henry David Thoreau
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Post by Phalon on Apr 5, 2006 22:06:53 GMT -6
"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine." ~ Anthony D. D'Angelo
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Post by LMV's Old Account on Apr 6, 2006 2:52:14 GMT -6
Dave: Hey guys, I heard on TV about this girl that didn't have any pain receptors. Phil: Oh awesome, she could take it in the a** all night long! Dave: Well I don't know how it works with pleasure. -On varying experiences
Jayme: Oh my god, my friends are a bunch of sl*ts. Everyone but me brought a guy home last night. Jess: Wait, you told me that you and Dan did stuff last night... Jayme: Yeah, in an alley outside the party on the back of some guy's truck, but I didn't bring him home with me! Jess: ...and WE are sl*ts?
"Ever since there have been automobiles, people have been getting it on in them." -Professor Blevins, on America's favorite pastime
"Yeah, I've had so much work lately I've been pulling 2 all-nighters a night...wait, I mean...oh screw it I'm gonna go take a nap." -Nick, a tad sleep-deprived
Professor: I have two daughters so that proves that I have had sex twice. Erike: No, that just proves your wife has had sex twice. -Erike, trying to mumble under her breath
Sam: Did you order the chicken or the lasagna? Customer: Does the chicken have meat in it? Sam: It's chicken parmesan. -Only at a catering function...
"I am a cesspool of knowledge." -Sam, demonstrating his colorful vocabulary
Lauren: I think I lost my shoes at your place. Jeff: Everything gets lost at the our frat house, just the other day I found someone's virginity behind the couch. Lauren: That's sick. Jeff: I know, it was all sticky. -When the figurative gets too tangible
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Apr 7, 2006 20:19:34 GMT -6
Ok...I thought these were cute and thought I should stick them here...
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold an egg.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
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Post by Siren on Apr 7, 2006 20:52:02 GMT -6
Those are great, Scrap! I think the hair-brushing one is my favorite. ~Siren
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Post by fallenangel on Apr 8, 2006 6:42:14 GMT -6
Imagination is the highest kite that one can fly.~ Lauren Bacall
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Post by Siren on Apr 10, 2006 17:50:08 GMT -6
No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions. He had money as well. ~Margaret Thatcher
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Post by LMV's Old Account on Apr 12, 2006 17:10:14 GMT -6
Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious. William Feather
Nothing is as obnoxious as other people's luck. F. Scott Fitzgerald
I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do. Robert A. Heinlein
Yeah, I'm obnoxious, yeah, I cut people off, yeah, I'm rude. You know why? Because you're busy. Bill O'Reilly
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. Ambrose Bierce
I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor. Edward Albee
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. Francis Bacon
some more funny but serious quotes "Go f*ck yourself." -- Vice President Dick Cheney to Sen. Patrick Leahy on the Senate floor
"I don't fall down. That son of a b*tch knocked me over." -- John Kerry on a Secret Service who got in his way while he was snowboarding
"Latins for Republicans — it's like roaches for Raid." -- John Leguizamo
"..And then there's Rumsfeld who said of Iraq 'We have our good days and our bad days.' We should put this S.O.B. up against a wall and say 'This is one of our bad days' and pull the trigger. Do you want to salvage our country? Be a savior of our country? Then vote for John Kerry and get rid of the whole Bush Bunch." -- From a fund raising ad put out by the St. Petersburg Democratic Club
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Post by fallenangel on Apr 12, 2006 20:38:40 GMT -6
It is not length of life, but depth of life.~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Post by Phalon on Apr 14, 2006 17:06:18 GMT -6
"We must learn to give ourselves permission to blunder, to fail, and to make fools of ourselves every day for the rest of our lives." ~ Sheldon Kopp
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Post by fallenangel on Apr 14, 2006 19:45:37 GMT -6
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.~.e. e. cummings
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