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Post by LMV's Old Account on Mar 13, 2006 22:20:47 GMT -6
Robin: You're a bar room socialist. Beer and revolution go in, piss comes out. Mike: Uh huh, well you're an insane pirate hooker. Just about anything goes in and all that comes out is demands. Robin: Mine is from a book... Mike: Oops. -Mike, swearing off sex for the next little while
hehe
Nicki: Baby are you okay? Johnny (gagging): Yeah I'm fine.... Nicki: Oh my god did you smell that fart? -During sex
Tim: Why does the Chinese team have a white coach? Dan: Because Chinese people can't coach. They'd just yell and inject the players with steroids and name their kids Wing Wong and stuff. -Watching an overseas baseball game while stoned
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Post by fallenangel on Mar 14, 2006 8:56:28 GMT -6
I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.~Joan Rivers
The secret of staying young is to live honestly,eat slowly,and lie about your age.~Lucille Ball
Hope is the companion of power ,and the mother of success,for who hopes has within him the gift of miracles.~Samuel Smiles
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Post by Phalon on Mar 14, 2006 10:43:22 GMT -6
Siren - consider the book yours....once I remember to get myself to the post-office and hopefully while I'm there actually remember to bring your address. Maybe I'll just send it to some erroneous P.O. box in the Denver area, and whoever receives it can forward it on.
Ah yes, lmv, one often quotes during sex. I prefer a passage from the bible myself, and often repeat it over and over again. It goes something like, "Oh-God-Oh-God-Oh-God".
yinyang - those last three quotes you posted would be interesting combined together, I think....
"I succeed in staying young by lying about my age in hope of a gift of a miracle."
And a quote combining the topics of sex and getting older but staying in shape, possibly by practicing much of the first topic, and the benefits thereof...
"Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not get bent out of shape." ~ anonymous
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Post by LMV's Old Account on Mar 14, 2006 19:37:02 GMT -6
Glen: Hey. Y'all studying? Nate (in Hindi): I'm going to frell your mother. Glen: Oh, Hindi homework. How's that going? Nate (in Hindi): And your sister. At the same time. Charlotte (in Hindi): Is that possible? Nate (in Hindi): I have two hands. Glen: I can tell you're busy. I'll catch you later. -On the benefits of learning esoteric languages
"Do mermaids have vaginas or do they just squirt eggs everywhere? Can you imagine it? Instead of her water breaking she just starts squirting out eggs...." -Erik, on aquatic erotica
*cherry* *%*LMV*%*
LitL Ms VaMp: *KIM'S No#1 B*tch: "*All Tied down.... Bound and Gagged*"
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Post by LMV's Old Account on Mar 15, 2006 0:58:28 GMT -6
just some stupid crap
"I just had a moment of clarity that I didn't understand." -Rob, on a life altering experience
Police officer: girl, I'm going to need to give you a ticket. Cherry: Yes! Then I'll have proof that this night happened!
Police officer: Get out of the truck. Cherry: I am WAY to drunk for that, you get in. -Cherry, before receiving a ticket
"They're gonna arrest the Mexican, shoot my Xenite ass, and let the white people go!" -Cherry, on being caught by small-town NSW cops while drunk
"Beer messes with your head...I saw a chick that was hot as hell when I was drunk..then when I was sober I found out she was a cardboard cutout of a fat chick." -Vern
Shock: No mom, don't go down there...it smells like ass! Shock's mom: I bet that's what you told your last girlfriend. Shock: That's what I told your mom last night...just kidding...it was your sister. -Sharing family secrets
*cherry* *%*LMV*%*
LitL Ms VaMp: *KIM'S No#1 B*tch: "*All Tied down.... Bound and Gagged*"
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Post by LMV's Old Account on Mar 16, 2006 2:27:43 GMT -6
Do paranoid schizophrenic agnostic dyslexic insomniacs lie awake at night wondering if they might be the dog that's out to get them? -cherry intoxicated, thinking out loud way to late at night
I'd tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and I don't want to have to see you everyday
"I don't want to see any of you in any movies from schoolies, I already have way to many of the Girls Gone Wild tapes to watch to have to deal with you people too." -Oseto, on Thursday before schoolies started
Phil: You're a negative person Kenny. I should bottle the negative vibes that emanate from you and sell it to the devil. Kenny: I want a cut. -On well deserved profit sharing
Seth: Ooh Heather Graham. The naughty things I would do to her. Mike: ...and whatever pets she may have. -Mike, taking his celeb obsession to the max
Jess: What's wrong with Kirstie Ally? John: I don't know. Every time I see her in one of those commercials, she's giving me the rapist eyes. -On celebrity affection
I like noise. I need noise. When it's too quiet, I can hear my brain cells dying.
*cherry* *%*LMV*%* LitL Ms VaMp: *KIM'S No#1 B*tch: "*All Tied down.... Bound and Gagged*"
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Post by LMV's Old Account on Mar 16, 2006 2:28:48 GMT -6
oh and *If you always take time to stop and smell the roses - sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee.
*cherry* *%*LMV*%* LitL Ms VaMp: *KIM'S No#1 B*tch: "*All Tied down.... Bound and Gagged*"
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Post by Gabbin on Mar 16, 2006 21:39:35 GMT -6
LMV, that last quote was funny. The previous ones make me scared of your friends. They are an unusual bunch, it seems. Yep.
Yingyang-I like the Joan one.
Gams, I like your combo of those quotes.
I have a quote book somewhere, I know it.
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Post by LMV's Old Account on Mar 16, 2006 22:58:52 GMT -6
Mike: Dude, don't put that knife in the dishwasher, it's got a wooden handle and it'll get all fucked up. Max: You know, you're just like a big, ugly mum. Mike: Yeah, and just like YOUR mum, I've got a beard. Max: Yeah, but unlike my mum, YOUR beard is on your face. Mike: What a coincidence! Your mum's beard was on my face last night, too! -Taking yo mama jokes way to far
Louie: Guess what happened when I walked into my religion class. Ross: You burst into flames. Louie: No, more obvious. Ross: Jesus punched you in the face. Louie: No, I had a exam. Ross: So, Jesus did punch you in the face. Louie: Yeah, kinda. -Going 12 rounds with the Big Guy
Cole: Yeah, it's sad. He's even got a kid now. Kristen: Wow, that's horrible...does he know who the mother is? -Kristen, apparently in need of an anatomy lesson
Brittany: What are you going to do when you have sex?! D*cks are like this big around. Anna: Whose dick have you been looking at? Brittany: Everyone's. -On tampons and virginity
Kirsten: I just got this really weird feeling, like something was almost inside of me. Zach: Sorry about that, I was trying to mind f*ck you from over here.
Drew: Shaq is a cop now? So, can he, like, arrest people now? Alex: Anyone can arrest someone, its called a citizen's arrest. Drew: If anyone ever tried to citizen's arrest me I'd citizen's punch them in the face. -On civil unrest
teacher: The cord's not gonna reach. Liz: Dammit, it's not long enough! You know, that's always the problem, isn't it? Teacher: Well, for me it never was, but...ok let's just ignore that, shall we? Liz: Alright...but I'll keep it in mind. -Trying to move a lamp in a faculty office
Grace: Why are you staring at me? Ryan: I like you, you look pretty. Grace: I thought you liked me for my mind. Ryan: I do like you for your mind, it just came in a really shiny box. -Ryan, distracted easily by shiny things
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Post by LMV's Old Account on Mar 16, 2006 23:29:01 GMT -6
"You can't say 'chastity' without 'ass' and 'titty.' Go ahead, try. You can't do it." -cherry, on the Freudian ironies of purity
haha i just found that one in my outbox on my mobile
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Post by fallenangel on Mar 17, 2006 9:37:15 GMT -6
G --yeah I like the Joan too not to get off quotes here but I say things people are thinking all the time it tends to get me in trouble though. lol heres one I like too: Normal is in the eye of the beholder.~Whoopi Goldberg
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Post by Phalon on Mar 17, 2006 19:08:46 GMT -6
I agree with Gabbin, Chere. Quite the lot of characters your friends seem. Sounds like you have fun with them; and friends are so important.
"There are Friends for a reason, Friends for a season, Friends for a lifetime."
and.....
"Let me have the grace for this day. Not for a lifetime, not for a week, not for tomorrow - just for today."
I don't know the author of either quote, so I will just say that they were quoted to me by two people I am privledged to be able to call friends.
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Post by Gabbin on Mar 17, 2006 22:31:41 GMT -6
Yingyang-tell me what I am thinking right now. Besides that you need some periods in your sentences. I feel the need to hand you a pepper shaker and have you sprinkle it over your sentences. Okay, so tell me what I am thinking.
Gams-You have such good friends. I must say. When I ski I wear a Spider ski suit witch gives me Bode Shoulders. Badaboom.
Oh, I am in a quote post, aren't I?
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Post by fallenangel on Mar 18, 2006 10:03:49 GMT -6
No I just meant I say things that tend to get me in trouble.Things that should be thought ,not said . As for reading minds , thats a scary thought. I may be a psycho but a pyshic I am not. LOL.....
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Post by Gabbin on Mar 18, 2006 22:53:22 GMT -6
Oh, well, tell me something that will get me into trouble..I mean you.
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Post by fallenangel on Mar 19, 2006 11:19:08 GMT -6
heres a quote :Trust that little voice in your head that says ''Wouldnt it be interesting if..''; And then do it.~Duane Michals
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Post by Phalon on Mar 19, 2006 13:31:08 GMT -6
LMAO, Yinyang. Gabbin asks to hear something that'll get her - and you - in trouble, and how deliciously perfect that last quote you posted fits.
Words I've practiced many times, and damn, how fun trouble can sometimes be.
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Post by fallenangel on Mar 19, 2006 19:03:17 GMT -6
Thank you Phalon .I saw that quote today and had to post it.
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Post by LMV's Old Account on Mar 19, 2006 19:35:03 GMT -6
here is a nice mushy one....(makes me think of my goddess)
You know you are in love when you see the world in her eyes, and her eyes everywhere in the world.
- David Levesque -
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Post by Phalon on Mar 21, 2006 10:15:01 GMT -6
I love to walk - anytime of year. One of my favorite things to do in winter is to walk on the beach. There are few out there when it's cold, and the feeling is that it is completely yours - "My beach" as opposed to "the beach". I was down there last week, and picked up a piece of driftwood that caught my eye. I stuck it on my desk when I got home to let it dry out, and it's been sitting there on a paper-towel since. At first, my family thought it was odd - or more accurately, that I was odd. The piece of driftwood looks exactly like a chicken drumstick, and they thought I was letting a piece of chicken rot on my desk. "No - it's something I picked up on the beach." Hubs is convinced it is actually a petrified chicken leg that had been buried in the sand from some long-past picnic last summer. Whatever - it makes a nice paper-weight.
A passage, (actually there were many of them), from the book, “Gift from the Sea” struck me as particularly beautiful, and reminds me of my solitary walks on the beach.
"I walked far down the beach, soothed by the rhythm of the waves, the sun on my bare back and legs, the wind and mist from the spray on my hair. Into the waves and out like a sandpiper. And then home, drenched, drugged, reeling, full to the brim with my day alone, full like the moon before the night has taken a single nibble of it, full as a cup poured to the lip."
Damn, I love that feeling.
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Post by LMV's Old Account on Mar 22, 2006 1:42:26 GMT -6
Like a child's infinite dreams, is the endlessness of love.
- Renee Tripp -
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Post by fallenangel on Mar 22, 2006 20:05:00 GMT -6
Music is moonlight in the gloomy night of life.~Jean Paul Richter
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Post by Phalon on Mar 23, 2006 11:16:10 GMT -6
"Happiness...not in another place but this place, not for another hour but this hour." ~ Walt Whitman
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Post by Siren on Mar 25, 2006 8:53:47 GMT -6
yinyang, Gams, those are a couple of beauties. Thank you!
Last night at the concert, I picked this bit out of Kevin Welch's song, "Life Down Here On Earth" (near as I can remember, it went like this)...
There'll be 2 dates on your tombstone And all your friends will read 'em It's not the dates that matter, But the little "dash" between 'em. ~Siren
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Post by LMV's Old Account on Mar 26, 2006 8:52:59 GMT -6
I love Thanksgiving turkey...it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward. - George Carlin
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action. - Hartley's First Law
One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork. - Edward Abbey
Having the critics praise you is like having the hangman say you've got a pretty neck. - Eli Wallach
Get the facts first. You can distort them later. - Mark Twain
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Post by Siren on Mar 27, 2006 21:36:50 GMT -6
And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
-Anais Nin
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Post by fallenangel on Mar 27, 2006 22:08:39 GMT -6
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.~Mark Twain
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Post by LMV's Old Account on Mar 28, 2006 0:03:34 GMT -6
Brian: Hey, did I even see you on St. Patrick's Day? Ali: I'm not sure...did you go to Ray's? Brian: I think I was there for a little, did you? Ali: Yeah, someone said they spotted me there late in the night. Paul: ACTUALLY, both of you were there. I know this because the three of us walked there TOGETHER...#*@$ING alcoholics.
Sharon: Have you ever played the fortune cookie game? Add "in bed" after whatever your fortune is. Ron: Mine is "You are always surrounded by friends." Laila: Mine is "The mailman will be the most important person in your life next week." Brillo: I got "You have enough strength and energy for two men..." -Fortune cookies never lie
Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. -Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place. Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up. Mark Twain
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. Mark Twain
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Post by Phalon on Mar 28, 2006 8:11:11 GMT -6
Yinyang and Chere - loving the Mark Twain quotes. Humor in truth - always fun to hear.
Siren - love the tombstone quote. A good one for sure. And the other; what a great metaphoric thought.
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Post by fallenangel on Mar 28, 2006 8:17:53 GMT -6
If you see the magic in a fairy tale, you can face the future.~Danielle Steel
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