Last Bush statement ...

[Msjulier]

Kennedy won by just a few votes per precinct(sorry don't have exact numbers) so, each vote counts.
Were "lucky" to have both candidates in LA today.

Imus had a clip today of Bush trying to explain Indian Soverienty, Such gobbledy goop.
Can't even make this stuff up.

[Scrappy Amazon]

It's a total embarassment for our country. And I'm afraid if Bush does win there will be violence in our country over it.

I agree that he is an embarrasment. But I don't think there will be violence. Only despair. Ok maybe that is a bit extreem. I will definately be writting a lot of letters.

[rsine69]

Irene. I think you mean Alfred E Newman. ;D

[irenetheserene]

rsine69 said:

Irene. I think you mean Alfred E Newman. ;D

Yea. That one!

[Extra Man]

Bush's State of the Union Speach before it was censored for public release.

[Scrappy Amazon]

OH MY GOD! As much as I dislike the fact that that man is the leader of our country and as much as I believe the man couldn't talk himself out of a can, I'm finding it hard to believe that he actually said those things. It's sounds to me like it was spliced together in a way that made it sound like he was saying that. Can anyone give me proof or verification on this portion of his speech? If this is some kind of joke it's a poor one.

[Lesa]

OMG!   They sure know how to splice a video, except they forgot to mangle a few of the words!

Don't worry, Scrappy.  The site where EM got that from clearly states that it was edited, so I doubt anyone getting the video from its source will think it's real.

[Scrappy Amazon]

Whew! My computer only showed me a small picture, so I didn't see where it said edited. Thanks for clarifying. I know the man's a moron but I didn't think even he could be that stupid.

[Extra Man]

Yeah, it is a fake but a damn good one. When I first time saw it I also almost believed it was true.

[Lesa]

Besides, I highly doubt he would ever admit that he's weak and materialistic.   I might've believed the "I've been trained by Al Qaida" part, but I didn't believe he actually said that 2nd part for an instant.

The "edited by" wasn't on the video itself, but on the page where the original site links to it.  I would provide the link to the page here, but the name of the site would probably get this board shut down.

[Xenorama]

He could have said "my dad helped train Osama" that would have been true.

[Extra Man]

Its off topic but I'll post it nevertheless. ;D

The lie clock

Donald Rumsfeld died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said Rumsfeld, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said Rumsfeld. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's Bush's clock?" asked Rumsfeld.

"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

[Lesa]

He could have said "my dad helped train Osama" that would have been true.

David!   Well, there do appear to be some close ties between both families, and there have been many claims that there are close ties with Osama himself, although I haven't been able to determine one way or the other whether those claims are correct.

"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

I love that punch line, EM!   It's so true!

Here are a couple of my other favorite jokes that are floating around the internet:

George W. Bush's Intelligence Quiz
Don't lie to the mirror