Scrappy Probst's Fabulous Hotel Room

[Scrappy Amazon]

'Scrappy flings open the door of her penthouse suit and surveys her surroundings.....

To the left a king size bed covered in flannel sheets and faux fur. To the right an extra large jacuzzi tub. A large table stacked high with delicacies from home. Chocolate covered strawberries, champagne, milk and cookies, and a giant porterhouse covered in morel mushrooms. A full bank of windows over looks....well...over looks a lot of snow but what did you expect.

Scrappy flings herself on the bed and sighs....'

"Man this hosting gig is hard. All those demanding contestants. And living out here in the boonies with nothing but the bare essentials. I don't know why I accepted this job."

[katina2nd]

Sounds preferable to a freezing ice cave and left over Penguin meat I gotta say.

[Scrappy Amazon]

You just can't imagine how rough it is for me. I don't have time to list all the things I'm having to do without! It's TERRIBLE!

[Scrappy Amazon]

Wow what a long day! All those numbers I had to count and those whiney contestants telling me I was wrong! *sigh

"Hello room service? Yes this is the penthouse, I'd like to order some hot cocoa and maybe some grilled chicken. Yes the rice will be fine. Thank you."

I think I'll run myself a HOT bath while I wait for dinner.

[Mini Mia]

I got a [REPORT POST] PM that this thread had to go due to ... um ... well, it just has to go, that's all! It's abusive ... it's vulgar ... it's ... hey, it's really nice in here ... hey ... hands off ... I have a right to be here ... I ...

[Scrappy Amazon]

SECURITY!!!!!!

[Scrappy Amazon]

Don't trash the place while I'm gone........

[katina2nd]

Ummm not bad, not bad at all *don't want to go overboard and make the others envious*

I'd stay and chat more but I have to go try out the jacuzzi while I wait for room service before checking out the 150 cable channels on the giant screen TV.

I'll report back later, may be very late actually, that bed looks extra comfy so I may be sleeping late, so chow for now, stay warm and ............... well just stay warm I guess.

[katina2nd]

Just a quick run down on my day for anyone who may be interested.
Rolled outta bed around tenish, nice long shower followed by breakfast of sausages, eggs and bacon washed down with copious amounts of hot tea, then down to spend a few hours lounging around the heated indoor pool, very relaxing.

A light lunch then back to my room where a few leisurely hours were passed with a good book read in front of a roaring log fire before ordering supper *I'll skip the details, suffice to say it was "very" pleasant repast*

Right now I'm surfing through the extensive menu of channels on the big screen TV while enjoying a glass of an extremely pleasant Champagne, and occasionally [ very occasionally ] wondering how ......... what's their names again? are getting on.

P.S. Heard some disturbing rumours about an insurrection being plotted, I'd strongly advise against such an ill advised venture.

P.S.#2. Take ya time Scraprobst, no need to rush back as things are under control here, so you take a few extra days [ weeks ]

[katina2nd]

"Hello, security, this is the Penthouse, I'm calling to let you know it's come to my attention there'll be an attempted break in ........ no I'm not sure when exactly but it will be soon I expect.

I've Faxed you the plans for the attempt so you can be on the lookout, but be warned, the person who concocted the plan has a very devious mind and this may just be a feint for the real plan ........... excuse me ......... yes that's right, precisely like Operation Fortitude ............. so you'll have to be alert to that possibility.

Who will be making the attempt, well let's just say a couple of very hungry, very cold, and very desperate individuals ......... hahaha very funny, Captain Hook and Mister Smee reincarnated sounds about right; so I can just leave it in your hands then ......... good, thanks very much, oh before you go could you connect me with room service, I feel in the mood for a late supper ......... right, thanks again."

*think I'll run a hot bath while I wait*

[Phalon]

"Hello Security........"

<the line goes dead>

HA! I knew these toe-nail clippers would come in handy, Joxie.

[katina2nd]

Heck what am I laughing about, time for plan B methinks.

[Phalon]

Ok, Joxie - despite him being alerted to our plans, we're in. I wonder who the little birdie was that told him - musta been that penguin turned stool pigeon; the one that kept dropping his pencil while he took notes. Didn't his mama ever tell him that you can't write with flipper-wings, and it's not nice to tattle. Pfft - Penguins obviously don't have good manners, but it's a good thing they can't write very well either - it seems Katina wasn't alerted to the mirror-trick and it worked like a charm.

Sorry Joxie, for leaving you suspended from the penthouse window, dangling by the hair-dryer cord. You see, I noticed there where four beans missing from my stash, and I'm glad you found it in your heart....or best interests....to ever-so-kindly return them.

Which reminds me....on our way out, do me a favor? Remind me to grab some coffee-filters for back home. I don't really mind grinding the beans between two rocks, but using my bra-cup as a filter is getting to be a hassle. Coffee is a beverage near-and-dear to my heart, it's true, but wearing it there is ridiculous....not to mention my bra-cup-filter doesn't hold enough to make a full-figured pot.

Since it took us all night to get here, it's breakfast time...although Katina just had a late supper; funny how the same hotel room can have different time zones, eh? Oh, and because it is a hotel, we could have just walked in the front door, and used the elevator. Our way was way more fun though, don't you think?

I'm going to order room service - a cheese, spinach, mushroom, and tomato omelet sounds good, with a side of bacon, and biscuits and honey too. And a pot of freshly ground-not-between-two-rocks and filtered-not-through-a-bra coffee. Meanwhile, I'm gonna jump in the shower until it's delivered.

See you when I'm done, Joxie. Indulge yourself....I've got a feeling this ain't gonna last long.

[Mini Mia]

Joxcee/Mia is so overcome with excitement & pure joy ... with being warm & having all the comforts she's done without for so - so long ... she passes out.

[katina2nd]

Right here's my chance, one is passed out so I'll just roll her onto this sheet and wrap her in it ............ right that's done, now I'll just drag her down to the laundry chute and slide her down ............ huff ...... puff ........ happy landings ............. now for number two, bit more of a problem here as she's in the shower, can't just barge in there *well I could but I'm a gentleman* so I'll wait till she comes out, throw a sheet over her and voila, down the laundry chute again.

Ummmmmm she'll be conscious though and will probably put up a fight, better secure her wrists, but what with ......... ahhhhh a bra, I'll use that ..... nope not enough material [ sorry ] ummm what are those brown stains in it, sniff sniff, smells like coffee, naw couldn't be.

I need another plan, but what, think man, think .........

[Phalon]

<peeks through the bathroom door to see what's causing all the commotion in the room>

OMG!!! He's dumped Joxie down the laundry chute! Damn! I hope they don't use extra starch - I don't need to be hauling the dead weight of a stiff back to camp.

Think, think, think Phalon. Whatcha gonna do now?

<looks around bathroom for weaponry>

Ah-ha!

Oh hi, Katina. Glad to see your beautifully handsome face....Oh, my god - what the hell happened to you!? Have you looked in the mirror lately? Stupid question; of course, you have. Must not be getting enough sleep, though - or else you'd notice how bad you look. Horrible. Just terrible.

Here, sit down in this chair. I've got just the thing to fix you up, and get you back to your handsome self. Yep, shaving cream and a straight razor. After a nice shave, you're going to be looking as good as ever....after the scars heal, of course. What was that last part? Oh, never mind; I was just muttering to myself.

Oh, no, no, no....don't worry. I'm not going to go all Sweeney Todd on you....or Bugs Bunny Rabbit of Seville either. They both sing; I don't. Have I ever used a straight razor before? Oh, sure I have....how do you think I keep these gorgeous gams? Those nicks, divots, and scars? Hhhmmm....a run-in with a hungry penguin. They can get kind of vicious when you steal their fish.

Hold still, Katina. You're awfully squirmy in that chair. I wouldn't want to slip with this razor. You're face is just too pretty to be left all scarred. Here - I've got a great idea! I'll just tie you up, so you don't move around too much.....

No, no, Phalon....quit dreaming. He's never gonna fall for it.

Think, think, think.....

[Phalon]

Think, think, think Phalon.

Ah-ha! This'll work - a technique I've used many, many times. It never fails.

Oh hi, Katina. Glad to see your beautifully handsome face.

I noticed you sent Joxie out to be dry-cleaned. Mighty nice of you - we were all getting kinda nasty smelling. Good thing it's only a 15 minute service. Just enough time for me to eat my breakfast.

Here, let me put my clothes down the chute too - Joxie can bring them with her when she returns. I'll stay in this nice, comfy, ever-so-fluffy terrycloth robe until she gets back, and then we'll be outta your hair. We couldn't find the valet when we arrived, so the Air Mattress is double parked.

Someone's at the door? Security, you think? No, no, no. But it's too early for Joxie to be back, so it must be my breakfast. Ah yes....smells soooo good. Here, Room Service Guy, for you. Yes, yes, I know four coffee beans is an extravagant tip, but I'm really looking forward to this meal.....uhm...cuz if my plan doesn't work, it may be my last. Of course, it'll work; what am I thinking. Thanks, and have a nice day.

Oh, my god. This is the best omelet ever. Want some, Katina?
Oh, right - I forgot. I'm having breakfast, and it's dinner time where you're standing. Why don't you order some, and we'll eat together. Very generous of Hostess Probstess to let us have run of the place while she's gone, wasn't it?

When's she supposed to be back, anyway? Too bad this'll all come to an end then, eh? Then it's back to our own camps. Speaking of which....I made a few improvements to yours while I was there. Yep. I built an out-house for you from that pile of logs....although it probably won't last for long because you've got fire now too - a nail-file makes an excellent flint-like device. When I left, there was a nice, warm blaze going. I've got the penguins tending it while I'm gone.

Oh, and one more thing. When we get back, I'm supposed to choose someone to go to Exile Iceberg. How'd you like you're last trip out there? Pretty comfy sleeping on that cold, hard ice, huh? And that killer whale guard - I heard he's quite the friendly chap. Do killer whales bare their teeth and growl when you try to escape? If you want to go back, I can arrange it for you. Just let me know, okay? Katina?

Katina?

HA! It worked! Oh, that must be Joxie at the door.

<grabs manicure set, shoves hair dryer into Joxie's hand, and biscuit with honey into her mouth>

No need to thank me for the breakfast, Joxie. But thank you for bringing my cleaned clothes back; I'll get dressed in the elevator. We gotta get out of here now. The "Talking Your Ear Off" torture technique is a good one, but the dazed and confused trance it leaves it's victims in doesn't last long. Soon as I quit talking, they seem to snap out of it.

Hurry up, Joxie. Why are you walking so stiffly?

[Phalon]

Damn, damn, damn! I forgot to grab some coffee filters on my way out. <grumble, grumble>

[Mini Mia]

<grabs manicure set, shoves hair dryer into Joxie's hand, and biscuit with honey into her mouth>

hmm ... me no like honey ... but me starbin to death, so mes will eat it anyways. hmm ... wonder how long before the starch effect wears off?

[katina2nd]

...............think man, think ............ Ahhhhh I know, why didn't I think of it in the first place, just use my charm, never fails, I mean how could any woman resist this face.

Oh hi LP, nice to see you, and may I say looking very fetching in that robe, I sent Joxie down t ....... errrrr to the dining room to get herself some breakfast, or is that dinner, I'm a bit confused, anyway would you like to join me for a bite to eat *why is my neck itching, scratch scratch, and what is my razor doing on the table, scratch scratch*

I see you've already ordered, I thought that was the room service guy I saw leaving, he had a confused look on his face and was muttering something about coffee beans, not sure what that was all about, anyway I digress, I'll let you enjoy your meal *that's it, keep laying on the charm, scratch scratch, that way she may not send me back to that Hellonearth known as Exile Iceberg, scratch scratch*

Are you planning on staying long, not that I mind of course, stay as long as you like as far as I'm concerned, but Hostess Probstess could return at any time and I'd hate for you to get into trouble, so maybe after you've finished eating I could walk you down to the lau ......... errrrrr elevators *I think it's working, I'm almost home free .... sheesh what is it with this itching, scratch scratch*

[Scrappy Amazon]

*scrappy drags her tired achy body through the door of her fabulous hotel room. She stands in the doorway surveying the carnage.

"Leftover room service plates every where, bathroom looks like a tornado hit it and my robe is missing, the TV is stuck on Aussie football, and what is that floating in the jacuzzi tub? Coffee beans?

Can't leave you people alone for a few days without some kind of trauma?! I swear......

*sigh

Hello? Front desk? Yes....can you send up a maid right away.....a what? A coup? A break in? Two women in bathrobes...wait one woman in a bathrobe and another in starched sheets? And a man with a close shave.....

*grrr

Fine yeah just send someone to clean up in here and I'll take care of the hooligans. Yeah and connect me with room service. I need some food."

[Scrappy Amazon]

P.S. You guys crack me up!

[Mini Mia]

The things we could have done if we had had more players.

[Mini Mia]

Package!

[Scrappy Amazon]

Ok...that is cool! I have to have one now!

[katina2nd]

Does this mean I can eat the Penguin now.

[Scrappy Amazon]

What?! NO!

Get back to your camp! SECURITY!

[Mini Mia]

Something to read:

Maybe she hadn’t found the penguins yet... (chapter 14)

If you haven't read the first 13 chapters yet, links provided here.