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Post by Awesome Aphrodite on Jan 13, 2010 18:37:44 GMT -6
glad it helped you, Mia!  |
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Post by Mini Mia on Jan 13, 2010 18:46:11 GMT -6
 Thank you very much. It's nice to be rid of that load of crap. I just hope it stays gone. 
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Post by Phalon on Jan 14, 2010 8:12:30 GMT -6
Ah, see....I read it as a continual thought. (makes mental note to pay more attention to paragraph breaks; that's why they're there)
Love ya too........even if you are vegan.
BOLL.
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Post by quettalee on Jan 14, 2010 23:22:36 GMT -6
I absolutely dreaded the approach of these dates not knowing what exactly was going on in your head. I had an inkling of what was swirling around in there, but had no clue how to help because nothing seemed to work. Thank whoever or whatever is responsible for these things for sending Ana along during this time. So glad you're happy again, Sista Q. Yeah, I was in a pretty dark place, sis.  I just couldn't find any feeling at all other than the emptiness and sadness that just kept seeming to get deeper and deeper as September was approaching. I felt guilty, too, because I had promised myself on so many trips out to the river that this trip would be my last. And all those times, I couldn't make myself do what Mary had done. Around February and March seemed to be the hardest time--when I really starting "planning" and when I couldn't do it then, I think I knew in the back of my mind that I would never do it. Then, I kinda relapsed as August was ending and about that same time, I met Ana. It was a very difficult, confusing, and emotional few weeks--almost like every bit of the drama of the whole past 10 months was slammed into a few days. I was a wreck! And then almost as quickly as it began the day Mary died, it started changing direction again. Now, it's like a part of me--I guess the part that Ana has awaken--hasn't even looked back. I still have moments, songs, memories, sadness for the tragedy, lots of guilt still, anger for my financial state...but for the most part, I'm ready to move on and embrace the next stage. Ana is really amazing. She's intelligent, high-spirited, brutally honest, funny, patient, intriguing, compassionate, sensitive...OK, OK, guess I kinda got a thing for her.  Seriously, not to compare apples to oranges, but our connection is just as intense as what I shared with Mary--if not more so. Well, I'm guessing she's still giving me a little special treatment since I'm still getting back my "sea legs".  ;D |
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Post by Phalon on Jan 15, 2010 5:35:58 GMT -6
Really? One would never know from the way you talk about her. (big, huge smile for my Sista Q)
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Post by xenawp7706 on Jan 15, 2010 11:23:27 GMT -6
I had this kind of feelings for a person I know but I got over them.
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Post by carpediem811 on Jan 19, 2010 3:41:08 GMT -6
Wow.... Looks like I kind of opened up a Pandora's box of sorts.
(LOL)
But I'm glad at least that it prompted others to share their stories.
Thanks everybody.
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Post by Mini Mia on Jan 19, 2010 17:22:52 GMT -6
You're very welcome, carpediem811. Just wanted you to know that you're not alone. I'm sure very few of us have never had first love woes. And that a lot of us haven't managed to rid ourselves of the pain completely. I hope you're feeling better about it now that you've shared. I certainly do. So thanks for starting this thread.
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Post by littlemonster on Mar 1, 2011 23:07:08 GMT -6
It's been over a year since this thread has been posted in...Well, this is my first post...this thread is actually what caused me to find this site. Thank you Google...
While my story isn't as moving (or sometimes sad) as those who have shared, it's just an expulsion of what's been on my mind these past few weeks.
As a young, bisexual person, this show opened my eyes to just how happy I can be in my future. Not only as a bi human being, but just as a female too.
About a year ago, I was still regularly reading fanfiction over at fanfiction.net. Most of what I read involved lesbian relationships since I felt comfortable reading that and I could connect. While browsing someone's profile, I saw that one of their favorite pairings was listed as Xena/Gabrielle. At first I thought Gabrielle had actually been GABRIEL, or I passed it off as fanon, but the pairing kept popping up on other profiles, so I looked up the names on Google.
REAL TV lesbians? No way...my excitement died down some as I read more about the show and its subtext, but I still really wanted to watch it.
Netflix is man's greatest creation. I am now halfway through season 6, only having missed a few episodes since they didn't stream online. The emotional journey has truly transformed me a person. Before I found Xena, life held no spark. I felt very little toward the world around me, opting to take a cynical, pessimistic view toward life. Once I witnessed the initial camp and easy-going Xena episodes, I found humor in everyday life. With the addition of truly compelling storylines, I renewed my love of digging deeper, deeper, deeper into my favorite characters and plots, not just in Xena, but in other shows and movies and books, too.
I am able to look at the world around me and think "I can't change it all, but I can help in my own small way. I can better myself and be a friend to others."
Mainly, though, the show instilled a hope within me that one day, no matter whose hand I hold or bed I share, I can be happy. I will love and be loved. I just can't shut myself off anymore. Terrible, isolated days when I get home from school willing the homework to disappear and the lonliness to fade, I can turn on Xena (and blast Lady Gaga) and I can think of the real reason to keep on trying. My future is ahead of me. The only way to get there is to live through the present.
That was terribly contrived...standardized tests have compelled me to be a cheese ball today.
But with the end coming, I don't know what will happen when I do finish. Those two characters have given me so much inner strength over the past year. It's not that I don't accept the end (I read spoilers xD) because I hold immense respect for the writers for handling the final tale so well. I just wish the discovery of it all could go on forever.
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Post by Mini Mia on Mar 2, 2011 2:16:35 GMT -6
:wtw1: :wtw2: :wtw3: :wtw2: :wtw3: |
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Post by Mini Mia on Mar 2, 2011 2:19:04 GMT -6
When you get to the end of the series, start all over again. Keep it going until you don't need to anymore.
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Post by Phalon on Mar 2, 2011 4:43:20 GMT -6
Who says? It made me smile. Glad you found your way to happiness....and your way here.
Welcome to Whoosh, Littlemonster.
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Post by littlemonster on Mar 13, 2011 23:02:37 GMT -6
Thanks for the welcome  I finished on Friday (so...two days ago.) I've never cried so much at one time in life, I swear...I had to take a few minutes in between FIN I and II just to calm down enough to clear my vision to be able to see the TV. It just...I feel as if I grew up and matured as Gabby did, just not as drastically since it's only taken me about a year to watch the show. Seeing her able to make it alone (yet not alone) helped me be ok with life right now. I watched the finale in an empty house. I felt free to sob and yell and speak as I pleased, which helped with the parting. I didn't realize how much I truly relied on the show to get me through my week. I went to be nearly right after watching the finale, and I got more sleep than I did on any three consecutive school nights out of the year. I was in a strange calm the next day. I felt lighter. The light outside made the world seem fresh. I feel so renewed. I don't think I will rewatch the series any time soon unless one of my friends actually sits down to watch it. Nothing can come close to the first time. I needed Xena to save me from my internal abyss, and she did. I needed Gabrielle to help me fit into my identity, and she did. I needed them both to show me that I can be happy and have a great future and work through problems and show me that I won't be alone. There aren't words enough to describe how thankful I am to the show's creators and everyone who worked on the show. I verbally thanked the title screen of my TV after the end credits rolled for the last time. If I do watch the finale ever again, it will be with a friend, so I can have some moral support in the heat of the moment. I nearly lost it as Gabs and Xena sat gazing into the sunset. |
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I just couldn't find any feeling at all other than the emptiness and sadness that just kept seeming to get deeper and deeper as September was approaching. I felt guilty, too, because I had promised myself on so many trips out to the river that this trip would be my last. And all those times, I couldn't make myself do what Mary had done. Around February and March seemed to be the hardest time--when I really starting "planning" and when I couldn't do it then, I think I knew in the back of my mind that I would never do it. Then, I kinda relapsed as August was ending and about that same time, I met Ana. It was a very difficult, confusing, and emotional few weeks--almost like every bit of the drama of the whole past 10 months was slammed into a few days. I was a wreck! And then almost as quickly as it began the day Mary died, it started changing direction again. 
Seriously, not to compare apples to oranges, but our connection is just as intense as what I shared with Mary--if not more so.
;D
"There are people you meet, who move in and out of your life, like ghosts-- and after they're gone, you find that they've left a part of themselves with you.
