No Shirt, No Shoes, No Appetite!

[marjancin]

In the "Pet Peeves" thread, I made many mentions of bad restaurant experiences I've had in the past. I decided that this could use a topic of its own (and I give credit to Phalon for the title of the topic!) and let the "Pet Peeves" topic be just that - pet peeves, not stories about unpleasant eating experiences.

Before I tell you about the latest one, let's review the ones I've posted (yes, I know we can just look in the Pet Peeves topic, but seeing as they're spread over several different pages...).

The first one I told you about was the lady in Fazoli's who pretty much announced to the restaurant that her baby had plopped in his diaper, and the kids that were with her were horsing around, throwing wet napkins at each other and stuff. I moved away from them and the woman got all bent out of shape and started cussing at me, sort of implying that I was just jealous that I didn't have a baby, which was not at all true. As I said in that post, I'm almost 25, single, childless, and a virgin and damn proud of it!

The next one, which had happened three years before, was at Red Lobster. Two people were discussing the movie "Passion Of The Christ", which has many gory scenes, which was what they were talking about. We could have tuned them out, but they were talking in rather loud voices and got pissed off when my then-boyfriend asked them to please keep their voices down if they had to talk about that crap. Fortunately, we were able to be moved to another table.

Then, there was the one three years before that one (see a pattern forming here?), about the kitchen worker in the Italian restaurant giving another employee a foot massage in the dining room, with the girl's bare feet and discarded shoes and socks in plain view of everyone (of course, at the moment, "everyone" only consisted of myself, since I had arrived at a slow time.) I said something to them, but they pretty much ignored me. Even the manager didn't really care what they were doing, although it was clearly against the board of health, whom I contacted the next day. I have a feeling that it's a little more than coincidence that they went out of business the following year (although the fact that it was a Mom and Pop establishment could have been instrumental in that, too).

Moving right along, there was that one crazy lady who was reaming me out for chewing on my fingernails. I kept trying to play it down, but that made her even more angry and she would not get out of my face to save her life. Fortunately, she came over and started up with me as I was leaving, so it was pretty easy to just get away from her. I haven't seen her since, so the paddy wagon must have come to take her away, ha-haaa!

Exactly a month later (I ate out at restaurants this past year much more than I had in the past, making it likely to have more bad experiences, and did I ever!), I was at KFC with my ex-boyfriend and there was a guy there who should have taken five minutes to groom himself and he would have been just fine. Instead, he was wearing a tank top, which revealed his gross, hairy armpits. And he had the worst B.O that I had smelled in a long time, and on his tank top was a DEAD FLY!! He tried to sit down at the table next to ours, but we were like, no way, so we moved as far away from the guy as we could. Not before our appetites were pretty much ruined. I ended up taking more than half of my food home for later. I still think that restaurants should have a policy that you can't wear tank tops. I mean, the place is air conditioned. Surely, even in the hottest weather, you can bear to wear a regular T-shirt for just a few minutes!

The next one was the ultimate. It was at McDonalds, where my choice of tables was quite limited, since it was during the lunch rush. I was sitting down next to a family who had a kid who was totally fidgety. He was talking with his mouth full and he kept swinging his feet up on the seat. When he knocked into me, I asked him to stop, and his mother kept making excuses for him. Right about when I was about to say something along the lines of "Excuse me, but you've mistaken me for someone who gives a s--t", another table opens up, so I just move over to it. Well, apparently, they went to the manager/owner and told them that I was "harassing" them, because he came over to me, started chewing me out, and told me to leave. I told my ex-boyfriend and his sister, whose house I was on my way to when I stopped at McD's, about what happened and my ex sent me an e-mail a few days later, saying that he had a cousin who used to work at the restaurant and these people were good friends with the owner, who would sit and talk to the family, who were known to hang out at the restaurant for hours at times, and what really killed me was that he let them into the work area during business hours. Who knows what would happen with that little kid, as rambunctious as he is!
Earlier this year, I found out that the McDonald's is under new ownership. I have no idea why - it's apparently top secret information, for several people I've asked have remained hush-hush about it. But I guess it doesn't really matter - I have an idea or two, but, due to a few not-so-good circumstances that materialized back in September, soon after I posted the story, I've grown more cautious about being judgmental on these boards. My McDonald's story was twice as long back then as it is now, but I have since edited it down quite heavily (for anyone who might be interested, I still have the original written down in WordPerfect, so you're welcome to PM me )

Well, finally, we're up to my latest dining experience. Fortunately, nothing gross happened, but the situation was equally as aggravating. I was at a popular chain restaurant (for privacy purposes, I choose not to name it) with my best friend (yes, my ex-boyfriend's sister) for breakfast this past weekend. We put our order in and, as I expected, there was a long wait, like there usually is at that particular restaurant. Well, we waited and waited. I was beginning to think that they had to go out to the farm and gather the eggs. Finally, when a table that had been seated quite a while after we had arrived was being served, I called the waitress over and asked what was taking so long, as nicely as I could. She went to check on it and then came back and said that the order had been put down somewhere away from the kitchen area. My friend said, "Oh, how nice", not in a disgusted voice, but in a voice that implied humor. The waitress said, "We'll get it to you as fast as we can. It's OK, that kind of stuff happens." I was thinking, well, yes that kind of stuff DOES happen, but I'm afraid you don't get to say that! It's the person who was inconvenienced whose right it is to say that it's OK. It's bad enough that the waitress wasn't paying attention to what she was doing, but to excuse herself like that was totally out of line. I told my friend, who was footing the bill (since I had paid for our meal last time we ate out) that she should ask for at least a discount (because if I was the manager of that restaurant, it would have been on the house and would have come out of the waitress' paycheck!), but she just shook her head, saying that it wasn't that big of a deal. That's the problem with her, she's so passive about everything. I guess that does help to make her more easygoing than I am, but still. I kept trying to convince her, especially because the damn waitress never apologized in any way. I was toying with the idea of contacting the manager and telling him about what happened, but, in case he offered to refund our money, that might be stepping on my friend's toes, and the last thing I want to do is to sour our friendship. And besides, since she was the one who paid for our meal, it wasn't really my place to say anything. But I'll tell you what, that restaurant isn't going to get anymore of my business! I'll avoid it just like the one McDonald's.

Well, that's my story. Let's hear about your unpleasant dining experiences. I'm sure a few of you have an interesting story or two.

[Phalon]

Let's hear about your unpleasant dining experiences.

Hhmmm...unpleasant dining experiences? Anything coming out of my kitchen? No, no...just kidding. I can fix cold cereal to perfection.

Dining out, all of my unpleasant experiences involved Wild Kingdom inhabitants....a beetle in my food at a restaurant in Hawaii, a fish head and tail on my plate in Colorado, and a rat running across the floor of a Chinese restaurant in Virginia.

There's no place like home, there's no place like home, and shoot, no matter how bad the food in my home, at least it doesn't move or stare back at me with beady little eyes. Now if I only had some courage to eat it. Oh, Wizard, have you got something in that bag for me? A cookbook maybe?

[Siren]

Gams, you're our creative cook. That cookbook would just gather dust, anyway.

I have a "behind the scenes" story for you, Marj. My sis worked at a hamburger joint years ago. A very demanding, rude jerk of a customer came in regularly, and always gave the crew a hard time. Among his demands, he directed that the cheese on his double-meat burger be placed "between the meats". One day the head cook, already annoyed, heard his directive and told my sis, "I'll give him 'between the meats'." She pulled 2 freshly-cooked patties from the grill, tossed them on the floor, then picked them up and assembled the burger, a happy, nasty smile on her face.

[marjancin]

LOL! That reminds me of something that I saw several years ago. I worked at Burger King for a very short time, and there was a regular customer, a curmudgeon who always got on everyone's nerves. He ordered a breakfast sandwich, in his usual grouchy way. One of my co-workers was the lucky one to make his order. She was working fast, but apparently not fast enough, for the man pounded the counter and screamed, "STEP ON IT!!!!" And that's exactly what she did. She dropped it on the floor and smashed it down with her foot. The old man left and, thankfully, never returned (I heard a rumor that he was rendered incapacitated by a heart attack about a month later - as high strung as he was, that sounds feasible).

[marjancin]

This past weekend, a few friends of mine and myself were sitting around talking and the topic of bad restaurant experiences came up (what a surprise!). The ones my friends told about were pretty similar to what I discussed in this topic, but one was really funny. My friend's grandfather had told her several years before about a golf trip he took with several of his golfing buddies to Birmingham back in the late 70s. On one night of the trip, they went into an Italian restaurant. After they were done, two of the guys left while "Don" (my friend's grandfather) and "Larry" were taking care of the food bill. When Don and Larry got outside, they found "Bob" and "Art" laughing hysterically. Don asked, "What happened?" Well, apparently, as Art was leaving, since he has allergies (and the warm food no doubt made his nose run), he stopped to blow his nose. As he unpocketed his hanky, he was oblivious to the fact that he was standing right next to a guy eating Fettucini Alfredo. Then he blew his nose real hard and it was real loose, so you can imagine the gross noise it made. The guy looked up and said, "Geez, thanks a lot, pal!". I laughed so hard that I almost fell out of my chair, partially due to the fact that it sounded a lot like my other dining experiences that left me with no appetite (particularly, the farting baby at Fazoli's).
I guess I'd better steer clear of Italian restaurants and if I do go, to not sit at a table near the exit. I try to avoid those tables in any restaurant. The same goes for those near the bathroom. I remember one time, many years ago, the only table left was right by the john and I asked if they had any other tables. Pretty stupid question, as there were several of them open. But the person seating me still said no. I said that I'd be happy to wait, but she even denied that. So I said, "I'll come back later." Then I went to a restaurant down the street. Yes, I know that I did say I'd come back, but I didn't necessarily mean the same day. And you know what, I've never gone back to that restaurant, because many of my friends also avoid it, because it's so shady. One of them was apparently denied alcohol, because her ID was mangled on one corner. Uh, so what? Anyway...

[Mini Mia]

My uncle would be eating and his young son would yell from the bathroom, "Mom, I'm done," and my uncle would stop eating and growl that the kid could have waited until he was through eating. If you have kids, or take care of kids, you have to get a strong stomach. My weakness is stomach content. If I'm eating and one of the crime shows has 'stomach content' on the screen, I nearly puke. I have to throw my hands up to block it from my sight.

[Phalon]

Dining with kids can definitely be an experience like no other. My daughter holds the spotlight in my ultimate, most memorable off-the-wall restaurant experiences, (I'm not going to say "bad", because the outcome was anything but, and even while it was happening, it made me laugh).

We were at the same restaurant earlier this week - nearly seven years to the day - and could not help but recount the event. I'm sure most of you have heard the story - over the years I've probably posted it a couple of times. But for those who haven't, here ya go....

We were dining at our small resort town's most popular restaurant, during peak dinner hour, in the height of tourist season. This is when BP, both impatient and with a flair for the dramatic from the start, decided it was time to begin her grand entrance into the world - two weeks early. My water broke.

Hubs flagged down our waitress to explain our about-to-be abrupt departure. After he told her what happened, she said, "Don't worry about it; I'll get her another." Hubs looked at her in silence for a moment before explaining that, no, I did not need another glass of water because the first one broke; I was pregnant and the baby was on her way.

A graceful exit is impossible in this situation, but my plan was to discreetly sling out the door - as discreetly as a pregnant woman can slink - with as little notice as possible in the busy restaurant. It was not to be so.

It seemed instantly the restaurant manager appeared at our table with what had to be his entire staff of bus-boys, carrying what must have been the restaurant's entire stock of towels. I don't know what he expected to happen, but I'm sure someone in the kitchen had been told to put a pot of water on to boil.

I, Hubs, and LX, along with the manager, the busy-boys and their towels in tow, made quite the procession to the exit, with me replying "no" over and over to the manager's repeated "are you sure you don't want an ambulance?" question.

So much for being discreet.