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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Dec 20, 2004 14:42:18 GMT -6
My personal favorite fruitcake recipe.... Holiday Fruitcake Recipe 1 C Water 1 C Sugar 4 Large eggs 3 C dried fruit 1 tsp. baking soda 1 tsp. salt 1 C Brown sugar Lemon juice, nuts 1 FULL bottle of your favorite whiskey Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take out a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality. Pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 C of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 tsp. sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another cup. Turn off the mixer. Break two geggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the burner. If the fried fruit gets stuck in the beaters, pry it loose with a screwdriver. Sample the whiskey to check for toxisisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain the nuts. Add one tablespoon of sugar or something...whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn on the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whiskey again. Go to bed. Who the heck likes fruit cake anyway???
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Post by Phalon on Dec 20, 2004 17:37:01 GMT -6
BOLL, Scrappy! Hubs said that one of his co-worker's wife actually likes fruit cake and makes it to give as gifts. He said this as a warning.
I wonder where our fruitcake here has Whooshed off to?
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Dec 20, 2004 20:51:07 GMT -6
I think Mary'sGurl had it last.....
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Post by Freebird on Dec 21, 2004 1:13:51 GMT -6
She can have it. I'm tired of it following me
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Post by marysgurl1 on Dec 21, 2004 8:03:28 GMT -6
Look ladies....I've had the silly thing 3 times....& I did pass it along to Eli (see page 33 of "who said what...") I can't help it Eli hasn't been back to claim her prize. (I think she got offended...)
I'll just keep the thing & feed it to the birds....we are suppose to have 6-10 inches of snow tonight so I'm sure they will appreciate it about this time tomorrow.
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Dec 21, 2004 11:52:59 GMT -6
Awww....that's no fun. Why should the birds get all the goodies?
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Post by irenetheserene on Dec 21, 2004 17:52:29 GMT -6
Look ladies....I've had the silly thing 3 times....& I did pass it along to Eli (see page 33 of "who said what...") I can't help it Eli hasn't been back to claim her prize. (I think she got offended...) I'll just keep the thing & feed it to the birds....we are suppose to have 6-10 inches of snow tonight so I'm sure they will appreciate it about this time tomorrow. Give it to LIZZBITT!
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Post by Freebird on Dec 21, 2004 22:42:30 GMT -6
Yeah 6-8 inches of the cold white stuff. Snow is pretty for Christmas but day after I wish it gone.
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Post by Phalon on Dec 6, 2005 0:52:44 GMT -6
Since Scrappy requested it and even dug it out from the bottom of the barrel, (where in my opinion, fruitcake should remain)....here it is...the Third Annual Fruitcake Gift Recycling Project.
Rules are on page one.
Scrappy, you start.
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Dec 6, 2005 0:53:34 GMT -6
K then...thank ma'am......
INCOMMING!!!!!
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Post by Phalon on Dec 7, 2005 23:37:20 GMT -6
Update on the 2005 Hand-off. Off to a fast start, Scrappy plopped it in Katina's lap. Katina didn't hang onto it long; just enough to take a bite or two before lobbing it Gig's way. Gig, the smart woman she is, didn't even take a nibble - must be watching that girlish figure this holiday season - quickly rid herself of it, and tossed it to...
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Post by TamiZ on Dec 8, 2005 21:51:40 GMT -6
*standing next to a worn in desk-chair, a very very overwe... er, healthy black labrador retriever next to me... Looking at the doorstop shaped in the shape of a cake that saw better days in the 60's*
Tami: Jane, don't even think about eating that. You know you're only allowed to eat garbage outta people's backwoods ditches around here. Now get away from that umm.. I think it's a fruit cake. (chuckling) figures, house of fruits - find a fruitcake in it.
Jane: *whine, whine - big brown beggin' eyes*
Tami: I said no, stink-dog. What have you rolled in this time? I let you out for five minutes to dump the last bit of garbage you found and ate. You were gone for five minutes, what in hades did you roll in?
Jane: *arrrarr grrr arrarr*
Tami: (blinking at the dog and then down at the fruit cake) Uh uh. Don't even ask me again. Carry it on over to.... that one there (pointing). Then you and I are gonna go swimming with the fishes upstairs. You need a bath. There must be more than one of these things floating around, because you smell just like that thing. Gods, I hope I didn't get any on my shoes. (checking bottom of moccasins).
Jane: *picks up fruit cake and looks up with one last pleading attempt. She mumbles in her canine mumbling about the crappy luck that at least one of her mommies can read her mind* She looks over to where her mommie is pointing and carries the yummy cake (licking it inconspicuously as she delivers)... to... Forever Xena (say happy birthday).
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Post by Lesa on Dec 9, 2005 19:39:31 GMT -6
It's not so much about my figure as it is about breaking a tooth.
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Post by Forever Xena on Dec 12, 2005 12:33:58 GMT -6
The fruitcake is now in the possesion of Siren in the movies thread
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Post by Siren on Dec 18, 2005 22:20:29 GMT -6
A: FX: how did you get that pic of me in my sweatpants? I only wear them at home! B: Thanks soooo much for the cake. C: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits! ~Siren Pssssst: I'll let the cake marinate for a little while before tipping off the dumpee, if she hasn't found it by then. Of course, the smell of that rank cake may tip her off first.
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Post by Phalon on Dec 27, 2005 23:07:06 GMT -6
How did this thread bounce back up top? I thought fruitcakes, being as heavy as they are, would sink politely to the depths never to be seen again once Christmas has passed, until they miraculously resurface the following Christmas to spread their glorious gastrointestinitis cheer once more.
Our Fairly Bored Mother must have raised it, and since it floated up top, might as well do this season’s recipient run-down…
Scrappy, Katina, Gig, Joxie, Tami, Forever Xena, Siren, and….the complete loser, (only in that she’s been stuck holding the thing)…..(drumroll)…..Eroc, (the crowd cheers violently), who will no doubt have the good common sense to pitch the thing next trash day. Or perhaps….
…some unsuspecting out-of-state guests will find it served, deep-fried, as a South-of-the-Mason-Dixon-Line delicacy when wanting to sample that traditional Southern fare as they sit on her front porch and wave coyly to the passersby, while playing odd variations of a word association game and Screw Your Neighbor.
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Post by Siren on Dec 27, 2005 23:21:17 GMT -6
You'll find deep-fried Twinkies and Snickers at the state fair, though I've never tried them. So, why not fruitcake? Good idea, Gams. Goes well with a game of Uno too, I bet. ~Siren
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Post by Phalon on Dec 27, 2005 23:25:53 GMT -6
Uno, Siren, you just might be right. You be the one to try though, cuz I haven't a Clue how to do. Maybe add a little rummy to the mix. Scrabble to get a patent, and you'll become famous, having a Monopoly in the deep-fried fruitcake market.
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erco
Whooshite Apprentice
Too technologically challenged to insert a picture!
Posts: 118
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Post by erco on Dec 28, 2005 14:20:08 GMT -6
Well criminy cripes. How the heck did I get stuck with the brick? A clue would have been nice, Siren. I guess it will make a nice chew toy for the dog. Don't uno the only thing I want from you are your blue Sweet Tarts? Hey, theres a thought. Next time lets try to deep fry one of those. Fried Tarts. Oh wait, thats what we are after sitting on the hot porch all day drinking diet vanilla Dr. Pepper, or something like that.
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Post by Siren on Dec 28, 2005 18:49:30 GMT -6
You're right, E. I should've let you know. How about we share custody? I'll take the fruitcake every other weekend, two weeks next summer, and Christmas or Thanksgiving (you pick). Seems only fair.
Blue Sweet-Tarts? You have a very good memory. I think I saw several of those on the table by the tv. When I get a mess of them, I'll ship 'em to you, and you can fry them yourself. Speaking of frying, I bragged on your fried chicken so much, my mom wanted to know how you fixed it. She even asked Santa for an electric skillet.
One porch tart was more fried than the others, since she was drinking Smirnoff Ice. ~Siren
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Post by Joxcenia on Dec 28, 2005 19:39:55 GMT -6
Yeppers, Phalon... I did indeed bump it to the top to see if Eroc would learn she got stuck with it. No fun in her having it if she doesn't know of it.
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Post by Phalon on Dec 30, 2005 7:31:56 GMT -6
Fried Porch Tarts; that is hard to say fast. Served with mustard, cuz we can certainly pass it. The spicy kind. Spicy, Saucy Porch Tarts; what could be better?
Oh, wipe that Smirnoff your face, you; you've dribbled. No wait, that wasn't you, was it? Ice seem to remember it was something else that was spewed in laughter. SMBLOL.
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Post by Gabbin on Jan 1, 2006 23:34:25 GMT -6
I never got the fruitcake and I think you may all be trying the extra sensitive route cuz you know I would be devasted by the hidden meaning if'n I recieved it.
Does that make any sense at all to anyone besides myself?
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Post by Phalon on Jan 1, 2006 23:47:18 GMT -6
Nope. And I'm figurin' it wouldn't make you feel any better iff'n I told you that I never received it either.
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Post by Gabbin on Jan 1, 2006 23:54:55 GMT -6
Gasp! Get out! That sooooo makes me feel better. They don't dare touch us Board Queen A's, do they?
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Post by Phalon on Jan 2, 2006 0:04:14 GMT -6
That is most likely because they can't find them...us...the Queen A's. Slippery, Gabs; we slide right by. Caution; Slippery a's can cause accidents.
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Post by Phalon on Dec 1, 2006 12:26:35 GMT -6
I've been given the nudge, (I'd rather have been given chocolate), that it's time again. Pass the buck - no, doe do that, Deer. No ideer what I'm talking about, do you?
Me neither.
Anyway - it's apparently fruitcake season. I've got my hunter's orange on; stalking this wild game. Or is it gamey - this fruitcake is at least three years old, I'm thinking. I'll start by throwing it at the nudger, Dearest Fair Scrappeletta.
And then running. No clue if a three year old fruitcake with explode on impact.
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Dec 2, 2006 8:49:20 GMT -6
How can I ever thank you enough Madam P? Oh! I know! I'll send you the bill for the broken tooth I got trying to bite down on the damn thing...pfft
I have passed it on...Maybe her new pooch can use it as a chew toy.
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Post by mabd on Dec 4, 2006 15:00:00 GMT -6
I now have the fruitcake: yinyang was generous enough to toss it to me. As soon as my catapult is finished I'll to toss it to....
Maeve
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Post by leafsoup on Dec 6, 2006 16:26:11 GMT -6
fruitcake:
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