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Post by robinton on Aug 25, 2012 22:47:40 GMT -6
Another good example, in my mind, is "A Day In The Life" (season 2, episode 15). The banter (or fighting) that Xena and Gabrielle engage in. Yes, Gabrielle is angry with Xena for all the ruined cookery. While she may be mad, she still has respect for Xena and Xena still has respect for Gabrielle.
That kind of fighting is far more fun and interesting in a relationship. You are right, the all out fights where feelings ARE hurt, those are no good and I think will ruin a relationship. In a good relationship, those need to never happen.
I watched 1/2 of the first season of Herc... I did not like it. I found it utterly boring. So I do not know much about the relationship between Herc and Iolaus. I use them as an example to keep the idea of him and I as a couple. (in compared to Joxer and I)
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Post by Mini Mia on Aug 25, 2012 22:50:26 GMT -6
What did you think about the bantering in, 'If the Shoe Fits?' It was somewhat like, 'A Day in the Life.'
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Post by robinton on Aug 25, 2012 22:54:25 GMT -6
I am re-watching it now... I am not a fan of Xena past season 3... More and more of the comedy that was present in Xena season 1 - 3 seemed to go away in seasons 4, 5, and 6...
Comedy may still be there, but it got far more series. I prefer comedy over drama.
I will get back to you in a few minutes... Need to watch at least the first 1/2 to remind myself of this episode.
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Post by robinton on Aug 25, 2012 23:06:20 GMT -6
Ok, I remember it now... The Cinderella story...
I do not think I really watched all of it, to be honest. Aphrodite is WAY to valley girl for me. As a pagan, I really do not like how they poked fun at Aphrodite. While I watched all the episodes, I usually just kinda half hearted watched those.
I think the banter in that episode was still ok. Even when Xena and Gabrielle were fighting, they always kept respect for each other. (the one real exeption would be in The Bitter Suite)
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Post by Mini Mia on Aug 25, 2012 23:17:30 GMT -6
Well, in the 'Bitter Suite' they actually hated each other for a while, and were actual enemies. Without love, the fighting gets vicious/vindictive.
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Post by robinton on Aug 25, 2012 23:21:37 GMT -6
True... You have me there.
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Post by robinton on Aug 25, 2012 23:34:15 GMT -6
Just watched the entire episode. Yes, they had a fight. Yes, Gabrielle stormed off... Enough so that it actually worried Xena.
But, deep down both women knew that they would still travel together. Sometimes even devoted couples (and by couples, I mean husband and wife) need some time apart to settle down. Being around the same person 24/7 is not a healthy thing. There should be some time spent apart... That makes it so the time you spend together is that much more valuable.
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Post by robinton on Aug 30, 2012 19:03:11 GMT -6
Feminism is a touchy subject.
Because of the right wing political machine, the word feminism (or calling yourself a feminist) is a bad word. It has connotations of being an extremest.
My mother was at one point the highest paid female administrator in Salem. She has fought HARD to be taken seriously as a woman. She has had to deal with a lot of pig headed construction workers who treat her like she is a child of 7. She is what I would call a modern day feminist. I once asked her if she thought of herself as a feminist. She got angry with me. She said "I am NOT a lesbian!" And she meant that... To her, that is what being a feminist meant.
In my world view, all feminism means is equality for the sexes. That includes male equality as well as female equality. I think the problem comes when we, as Americans, have become conditioned to respond a certain way to images we see on the TV, in magazines, on our computers, etc. etc.
I would ask that you TRY to look at your world and ask yourself if this is being equal to the sexes. Is what you are viewing treating everyone with pure equality. If you can say that it is not doing that, then maybe you should take a stand against it.
It may take more than one person to change the world, but it only takes one person to start a movement.
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Post by Mini Mia on Aug 30, 2012 19:42:52 GMT -6
Unfortunately, there are some who will do anything for money/fame, and if that means doing humiliating things, so be it. Some women see their (over)exposure as empowerment, not subjugation. They're using the users for their own gain. Therefore they have the power. YMMV
And that is what Feminism is all about. The right to choose, and to get a fair wage/treatment in the process. If a woman chooses to pose nude for a magazine, have real sex in an adult film, etc., she has that right. As long as she isn't being forced.
Some women don't have any qualms about (over)exposing themselves, or using their looks to make a buck. And they have that right. I doubt they'd be too happy about someone taking that option away from them.
Feminism isn't about taking away choices. It's about getting fair treatment after making those choices. It's about not being ostracized for the choices being made.
Because, lets face it. There are women who will fight to keep their right to pose nude in men magazines. You can't stop something when there are those who willingly go along with it. Only when all women refuse to degrade themselves will this end. Still, what's degrading for one, is not degrading for another. So, there you go.
Edited to add: /treatment ... nothing else was changed/edited. ~~ Mini-Mia
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Post by robinton on Aug 31, 2012 8:41:25 GMT -6
So, by that argument, then we should legalize prostitution. It is a woman's body, they can do anything with it that they want to. That is a very slippery slop argument you got there. Where do we stop? Should we legalize heroine? It is there body... They can put anything they want into it... In Oregon, it is illegal to ride a motorcycle without a helmet. According to your argument, that law should be repealed because it is their body. If they want to be turned into a vegetable because it is there right to ride a motorcycle without a helmet, then let them. We make laws to protect people. As George Carlin once said, the average Americans intelligence is what you will find on the Jerry Springer show. 1/2 of Americans are dumber than that. These laws are put into place because people do not seem to have the common sense enough to realize that they are not only hurting themselves when they ride a motorcycle without a helmet, but they are hurting their children, family, and friends. So, looking at that argument, do you still think that it is a woman's right to pose nude in some men's magazine? They are not the only one getting hurt by doing that. As for the X-rated materialargument, I also have a counterargument to that. There was a X-rated materialactress called Linda Loveless. She started in a movie called Deep Throat. She was pretty much forced to be in that movie. It was not a role she wanted. Her husband, at the time, told her she needed to be in it. He forced her to do it. That is just one example I can think of off the top of my head. I know there are more. Now, are feminist against porn? Kind of... They have changed the language and meaning of words. X-rated materialis something that shows violence against women. (either behind the camera or in front of it.) X-rated materialis also VERY male oriented. A movie with two women doing things for the sake of doing things is porn. Feminist generally do NOT like porn. Erotica is showing people on camera in the act of making love. Both man and woman (or male-male, female, female) seem to be enjoying themselves... Seem to have an equal say in what happens to their body. I was automatically edited...
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Post by vickiej on Aug 31, 2012 9:44:27 GMT -6
Some interesting points. I have mixed feelings about a lot of those issues like you raised. How far should we be protected from ourselves? I certainly don't think marijuana should be illegal, but have trouble saying crack cocaine or meth should be legalized. I have friends who are voting for the Libertarian Party because they think both major parties are trying to take away our freedoms one way or the other. Because I am pro-choice and pro gay marriage I have to support Obama-the Republican ticket is so anti-women.Hope I am not breaking some rule about political discussion by saying this. Completely agree with Mina-Mia's position on feminism meaning women having choice, even though maybe some choices are not the best. Like posing for Playboy-I wish young women like Lindsay Lohan would not do that. It legitimizes the view that women's bodies exist for the pleasure of men to look at.I would be happy if that magazine went out of business. On the other hand, there is no need to hide our bodies. I wear tanga bikinis and daisyduke shorts and see nothing wrong with it. I like both Melissa Etheridge and Lady Gaga, though they are entirely difference both in appearance on stage and in what they perform. After Lady Gaga spoke out so strongly for gay and lesbian rights-lets just say she looks fine in her fishnet tights.
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Post by Mini Mia on Aug 31, 2012 17:48:32 GMT -6
So, by that argument, then we should legalize prostitution. It is a woman's body, they can do anything with it that they want to.
I never said anything about doing something illegal. It isn't illegal to pose nude, or to have sex in an adult film. I wish it were, but it isn't. I'm also against abortion, but a woman has the legal right to get one. Prostitution is legal in NV. Have you not heard of the Bunny Ranch? They have their own reality show on HBO. No one forces those women to sell their bodies, but at least their rights are protected there. They have a say on who/what they will do and how much profit they make. Personally, I would love for the laws there to change so that prostitution is banned, and those places shut down.
Slippery slopes are everywhere, no matter the argument. Would you like to oppress women back into the stone age? Are you saying that only men know what is best for women and have to protect them against themselves? What about male strippers? Who's looking out for them? Who cares that they're degrading themselves, allowing themselves to be used? Not just by women who are seeing it as role reversal, but by men as well. Is it okay for these men to sell themselves because they are men? Only men can pose nude? Only men can perform sex acts in adult films? Only men can wear skimpy clothing? Only men can be eye candy?
If you're going to protect the women, why leave out the men who are doing the exact same things for money and fame? Protection should be for both. That is equality, is it not? If feminism is about equal rights, should it not protect men as well? It wouldn't be fair to protect women, and allow men to be used and abused. Poor treatment should be abolished for all, and not just a few. To 'protect' women, and leave men to their own devices wouldn't be equality, it would be the superiority of women. Or, if women have no say, then it would be the superiority of 'some' men. Men who feel they alone know better than all women and most men.
Minorities oppressing the majority. hmm . . . just the kind of world I'd dearly love to be a part of. Or are we there already and just haven't realized it yet?
No where in my comment did I mention helmets. Somehow you read between the lines things I did not put there. That tells me a lot about your brain. Your comments should have given me a clue, but I ignored it. You were looking for a fight, and I walked into your web pretty as you please. I don't like fights. I don't like having my comments thrown back at me like I meant something I didn't mean. Clearly, I'm in over my head. Been there, done that. Probably will do it again. Oh, well.
What can I say to this? I'm a woman. And I like to think of myself as smarter than those on the Jerry Springer show, but obviously I'm not. I apparently wrote between the lines things I wasn't aware of, so therefore I need to be protected from myself. Thank you so much for pointing that out to me. I feel so liberated now.
As long as it is LEGAL to pose nude in magazines, have sex in adults films, then YES, a woman has just as much right to do them as any man. If men can do things without caring who it hurts, then so can women. That is what feminism is about. The right to make LEGAL choices, and to get fair treatment/wages.
Men can make whores of themselves, yet still feel superior to their female partners. That is not equality. What is okay for one, is okay for both. Men who feel that women shouldn't whore themselves out, should also not go about being whores themselves.
You want to protect women? Put more restrictions on men's rights. Punish men who use and abuse women. Set up laws that prevent men from being able to make money off of women who are too stupid to realize that they aren't empowered by believing that by using the men to get what they want, they have the upper hand. Teach young boys so that they grow up to respect women.
Excuse me.
I never said it was okay for anyone to be forced into doing something. And please, you think feminism has stopped such actions? Women are forced to do things against their wills even now. Women are kidnapped off of cruises to be sold as sex slaves. And not just from cruises, but duped into thinking they're being hired in foreign countries as nannies and the like.
American men are going to other countries to pay for sex with children. CHILDREN!!! Who's protecting them? Parents are so poor in other countries they sell their children to brothels. And men are either:
1) buying them 2) selling them 3) sitting by doing nothing, and just letting it happen
You want to protect women who have the FREEDOM to make a LEGAL choice to pose nude, have sex in adult films, to sell their bodies for food/rent ... but what about the women & children who don't have that choice? I guess it's more important to protect these women from themselves, than to go fight for the freedom of those who have no choice in the matter. Well, then, feminism isn't about equality after all, is it? It's about taking legal rights away from women, and allowing men to continue to do as they have always done.
Good to know.
Spare me. I've no interest in being put in my place more than I have already. Being that I'm a woman, I wouldn't understand what's for my own good anyhow. I'll just submit to your feministic wisdom. You being a man and knowing what's best for women, and all.
Personally, I think what's best for women, is for men to oppress the men who oppress the women. The best way to protect women from themselves is to go after the men who take advantage.
There are a lot of women in jail because they murdered their abusers. They're being punished because they didn't commit the act during their abuse. Like that's the best opportunity to do such a thing. Like they won't be overpowered and the weapon used on them instead. Please.
The only way to protect those women 'from themselves,' is to put those men in jail. Make their sentences longer. Relocate and hide the women and children, and put those men back in jail if they leave the state where they're located.
Personally, as far as I'm concerned, it should all be illegal. But that's just my tastes.
Yes. Proboards doesn't allow adult content. That is why I created a Runboard Whoosh. Runboard allows some adult content, like R-rated stuff and erotica.
Plus, some spammers like to include vulgar images in their posts, and then link back to their adult website, so I've added some words of my own to the words Proboards already had listed in the censor word list.
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Post by robinton on Aug 31, 2012 19:55:30 GMT -6
This post is directed mainly to Mini-Mia: I am very sorry you took my counter-argument so strongly to heart. I never meant to put "words in your mouth". I was attempting to graphical describe what a slippery sloop we were on when it came to human rights; what we as a society should and should not make legal. Not once was I attempting to poke fun at you, marginalize you, or imply anything about your intelligence. I am sorry it came off that way. Part of your counter-argument that struck me is the use of the word "men" over and over. Yes, I am a man. Yes, because I was raised as a male and have been given white male privilege, I can not understand what a woman go's through when it comes to a male dominated world. I can attempt to understand, but I never truly will understand oppression towards women. I can tell you that in "my perfect world", we would live in a matriarchal society. I believe that men have run this country (and world) into the ground long enough. It is time to give the women back the rains of power. (btw: I am pagan. My coven (group of pagans I worship with) is a matriarchal society and I LOVE it) As far as the helmet quote: I was attempting to use the motorcycle accident as another analogy... I apologize that it offended you. That was not what I was attempting to do. I think the best way to explain my point is this: By saying that if it is legal for someone to do something (whatever it is; prostitution, drugs, unsafe acts) that it is alright is a very bad position to take, in my opinion. It is very possible that abortion will become illegal in our lifetime. Religious groups and the republican party have been hitting hard at this issue. If it becomes illegal, then from what I understand your argument to be, it would not be ok for a woman to have an abortion. Laws are written by those in power. Right now, old white men with money are the ones in power. They are making the choices about what you can and can not do to your body. I do not like that. I hate that. In my personal and humble opinion, we as a society need to stand up and kick those old white men with money out of power and put in more Hispanic, more black, more native American, and more women in positions of power. Then, maybe, things will change for the better. I hope that clears up the air between us. I really do mean no offense to you or anyone else.
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Post by Mini Mia on Aug 31, 2012 23:34:01 GMT -6
Apology accepted. I should just stay out of such conversations while I have this chip on my shoulder. I still have all this anger towards my Dad that I haven't let go yet. Apologies.
Just to let you know. Your membership isn't in jeopardy. I don't want you to think this was going to get you banned, deleted, or warned. It wasn't. I may have misunderstood your comment and taken it the wrong way, but it in no way put your membership at risk. So if you were wondering about that, you can put your mind at ease.
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Post by robinton on Sept 1, 2012 1:58:17 GMT -6
This is going to sound cold and harsh, and I am totally prepared to be flamed for this:
But I really do not care much for what is happening outside of America. I mean, I do want to know what is happening in Canada, England, and China.... And to a lesser extent in Mexico... But my main focus in feminism is in America and the territories.
Now, the reason I say that is because I was raised in America. I understand our customs. For me, it is hard to understand different cultures that embrace what I feel is oppressive to women. (an example of this is the burka in the middle east). To me, that seems VERY oppressive. But I have been told by Muslim women that it is not oppressive... That it is part of there religious upbringing and actually empowering to them. That blows my mind.
So, I have given up on trying to fight the fight in other countries. Instead, I fight it here...
I know this probably sounds cruel and cold... And in some respects, I guess it is. But I also believe that feminism needs to start and expand at home before it can be taken to a greater place. I also believe it can go to far and become dangerous... Anything, taken to it's furthest extreme, can become dangerous.
Mia asked why I was not taking feminism to a more world wide approach... I thought about that, and this is my answer on why.
I should also point out that not all the arguments are really my own. Some are the arguments you would find in most feminist magazines. My views are different, I think, then most feminist I have talked to.
I believe that women do have the right to their own body, and what they do to it. I believe I would be a hypocrite if I said that abortion should be legal, because it is her body and she can do with it as she wants.... except prostitution. She can not sell her body.
So, in my opinion, prostitution should be legalized... But it should have rules. You have to be at least 26 years old. (that is when the human brain fully matures) If you work in that service, you must belong to a house (like in Nevada). You must have health insurance, and it is NOT the governments responsibility to provide it. And you MUST be checked for STI's every month. If you ever come up positive for any type of STI, you can no longer work in that field, ever. And this business will be heavily taxed. Those taxes will go to public AND private schools for the sole purpose of sex education.
I do not like adult magazines, but I do not feel it is my right to tell women what they can and can not do with their own body. I do feel though that these magazines should also be taxed. And that these taxes should go to schools for sex and feminist education. I would love to see feminism as a required course in secondary education.
I believe that if these things were implemented, you would see a drastic reduction in STI's, crimes against women, and the sex industry in general.
One last thing: On the topic of violence against women. A wonderful program has been implemented here in Oregon. If a man (or woman) has been found guilty of domestic violence, they may not be sent to jail. They may instead be forced into taking a series of classes that address the underlying issue of violence. This class helps them learn that violence is not the answer. It provides individual and group therapy. It helps them unlearn old attitudes that is usually picked up in their own childhood and relearn the proper way to treat a woman. So far, this program has had AMAZING success. Last I saw, 89% of the men who graduated never repeated the abuse cycle. Less than 12% of men who went to jail never repeated... This is showing promising results. But this program has only been in effect for about 3 years now, so it is WAY to early to tell.
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Post by xenawp7706 on Sept 1, 2012 6:46:14 GMT -6
I think feminism is a very important issue, but for me it means to have the same right men have: right to vote, right to work, right to be what they want to be without restrictions by men and bigots. Being feminist for me it is not the same of being lesbian, means to get the right to be like we want. This doesn't mean we have to do illegal things. No, following the law is important, both for men and women. What I mean is that a woman should be treated equally to a man when she searches for a job, or anywhere else
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Post by robinton on Sept 1, 2012 9:18:01 GMT -6
I think feminism is a very important issue, but for me it means to have the same right men have: right to vote, right to work, right to be what they want to be without restrictions by men and bigots. Being feminist for me it is not the same of being lesbian, means to get the right to be like we want. This doesn't mean we have to do illegal things. No, following the law is important, both for men and women. What I mean is that a woman should be treated equally to a man when she searches for a job, or anywhere else I think this view of feminism is great and wonderful, if this is what you think feminism is.
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Post by vickiej on Sept 1, 2012 10:33:04 GMT -6
I don't have much use for the so-called sex industry but I have trouble calling for lot of things to be made illegal. Take X-rated material for instance. I detest things that show women as "pieces of meat" , as objects. But I am afraid that if the law and the politicians got involved they'd use anti-porn laws aganst lesbian and feminist material,especiallly erotica. I think education and consciousness raising are better ways. Then young women will understand that the X-rated material industry and so-called men's magazines exist to exploit and oppress them. "Men's magazines"- why is it that term has come to mean pornography in some degree? Or if not that, things like sports and cars? On the other hand, "women's magazines" are thought as ones about areas considered traditionally female-cooking, childrearing, housekeeping,etc. Why assume one gender has distinct interests from the other? Some men love to cook;some women are huge football fans. Its good we are having this discussion about feminism. The bad thing that has happened in our society is that so many women have been sold the idea that calling oneself feminist is a bad thing.
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Post by stepper on Sept 1, 2012 11:00:52 GMT -6
I have friends who are voting for the Libertarian Party because they think both major parties are trying to take away our freedoms one way or the other. Because I am pro-choice and pro gay marriage I have to support Obama-the Republican ticket is so anti-women.Hope I am not breaking some rule about political discussion by saying this. Vickey...I replied to this but put my reply in the Polictics thread over in the Off Topic area.
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Post by stepper on Sept 1, 2012 11:45:46 GMT -6
Because generally, it’s true. Physically, emotionally, chemically, we are not the same. We are not wired the same. Expecting us to be the same isn’t logical. Granted, there are people of both genders who have interests which society tends to associate with the other sex; absolutism works for no one. Equal pay for equal work – and promote the best qualified irrespective of gender. Absolutely! And if we insisted that people were restricted to their own swim lanes, we’d lose too much. Erica Enders struggled for years breaking into the traditionally male dominated sport of drag racing, but she broke down the resistance and ended an unwarranted prejudice, and good for her! But there hasn’t been a flood of ladies following suit. What was “wrong” was the resistance she faced. There’s nothing inherently wrong with a woman who wants to be a drag racer or a fighter pilot, nor are they exceptionally popular roles that women are choosing to pursue. I guess I’m saying that I see the generality as true. That there are exceptions only means there isn’t an absolute.
I agree. And fairly compensated for her efforts too. My mother was the Director of Welfare in the city where I grew up. She did not receive pay commensurate with her male counterparts until the last few years she worked.
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Post by robinton on Sept 1, 2012 18:23:43 GMT -6
Because generally, it’s true. Physically, emotionally, chemically, we are not the same. We are not wired the same. Expecting us to be the same isn’t logical. Sorry, I have to break into this conversation. This premise is false. A lot of people seem to think that there are differences between males and females. As a person with his BS in psychology (granted, it is not a PhD) I can say with a certain degree of confidence that there is very little difference between the genders. In fact, many studies have been done on this topic; including but not limited to, brain scans, physical endurance tests, mental testing, and stress testing. The only single difference between males and females seems to be the overhand pitch. For some reason, men and built slightly different then women, allowing them to perform this task easier than women. In point of fact, if you were to ask 200 people (assume 100 men and 100 women) to write down what it feels like to have an orgasm without using any descriptive words concerning genitalia, you would not be able to tell what paper was female and what paper was male. That is how similar we are. (Note to Mini-Mia: I know and understand that this post could border on being to adult. I appoligize if I have crossed that line. But I do feel that this post is talking more on the science rather than the act itself.)
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Post by stepper on Sept 2, 2012 12:00:26 GMT -6
Sorry, I have to break into this conversation. This premise is false. Break in if you wish, but the premise is bang on accurate. Below are couple paragraphs from Discovery Health. I have no intention of generating an exhaustive proof - the point is that there is much more difference than simple physical attributes. 'Research indicates that men and women do in fact have different structures and wiring in the brain, and men and women may also use their brains differently. In some cases, this may explain some of the stereotypes that we may not like to acknowledge about the genders. For example, men do score better at tasks that involve orienting objects in space, while women do better at language tests [source: Kolata]. In 2001, researchers from Harvard found that certain parts of the brain were differently sized in males and females, which may help balance out the overall size difference. The study found that parts of the frontal lobe, responsible for problem-solving and decision-making, and the limbic cortex, responsible for regulating emotions, were larger in women [source: Hoag]. In men, the parietal cortex, which is involved in space perception, and the amygdala, which regulates sexual and social behavior, were larger [source: Hoag]. Men also have approximately 6.5 times more gray matter in the brain than women, but before the heads of all the men out there start to swell, listen to this: Women have about 10 times more white matter than men do [source: Carey]. This difference may account for differences in how men and women think. Men seem to think with their gray matter, which is full of active neurons. Women think with the white matter, which consists more of connections between the neurons. In this way, a woman's brain is a bit more complicated in setup, but those connections may allow a woman's brain to work faster than a man's [source: Hotz]. ' Mini - if this is too much of a quote from a published article let me know and I'll cut it. These paragraphs (and the many authors and studies behind them) do not dispute that there are differences, it says they believe the varient brain functionality 'may account for differences in how men and women think.'
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Post by robinton on Sept 2, 2012 18:56:30 GMT -6
Discovery Health? Yes, this is a peer reviewed article... This is something that most respectable researchers will use... You can make most anything say anything you want. John Tesh ( www.tesh.com/radio ) proves that in his nightly radio broadcast. While I would love to bring in some actual peer reviewed articles for you to review at your pleasure, I no longer have access to the Portland State University online research catalog as I am no longer a student. I can tell you that I have seen many peer reviewed articles on the subject of the various differences between males and females. The only definable differences most respected researchers can find is the overhand throw. Now, I must admit, that my research project on this very subject was done about a year and a half ago. It is very possible that new research has come out on this subject.
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