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Post by stepper on Dec 5, 2011 18:44:09 GMT -6
I used my TBR as kindling.
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Post by Phalon on Dec 9, 2011 5:19:23 GMT -6
Could never use books as kindling!
I took a bunch to the used book store the other day, and the ones they couldn't use, along with a box of VHS tapes (which includes most of the Disney movies) to the Humane Society which sells them at their resale shop to raise funds for the shelter. When the box of tapes went out the door LX, of course, exclaimed once again...
You're ripping my childhood from me!!!
(We don't even own a VCR.)
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Post by stepper on Dec 9, 2011 17:58:06 GMT -6
Buy her Disney DVDs for Christmas.
I still like the old Disney toons and shows, and Bugs Bunney and Daffy Duck and Marvin the Martian...
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Post by Phalon on Dec 10, 2011 6:39:40 GMT -6
They are getting "The Lion King".
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Post by stepper on Dec 10, 2011 9:33:44 GMT -6
That is one of my favorites.
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Post by vox on Dec 31, 2011 9:00:24 GMT -6
A Happy New Year to all
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Post by Phalon on Dec 31, 2011 9:03:31 GMT -6
Vox! Wishing the same to you!
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Post by Mini Mia on Dec 31, 2011 17:26:13 GMT -6
Yay Vox! Ditto what Vox said.
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Post by stepper on Dec 31, 2011 20:08:33 GMT -6
Good to see you back Lady Vox!
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Jan 24, 2012 13:11:17 GMT -6
working.....working.....working.......working......fall down.
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Post by Phalon on Jan 25, 2012 7:12:30 GMT -6
Scrappy!!! You're alive! Right? Uhm....Scrappy?
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Post by Scrappy Amazon on Jan 25, 2012 15:38:38 GMT -6
wa...who?.....where am i? umph (more falling down)
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Post by scamp on May 3, 2012 4:39:59 GMT -6
at work: "If I say it, it is important."
at home: "I'm not awake. I mean it."
my life: "What? I have a cataract already?
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Post by Phalon on May 3, 2012 6:19:39 GMT -6
Prom this weekend: God help me!
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Post by stepper on May 3, 2012 16:36:46 GMT -6
Dress, shoes, flowers, pictures…expensive date.
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Post by Phalon on May 6, 2012 8:13:02 GMT -6
Don't forget tickets, tux, limo, dinner....
...and jewelry, hair, make-up, tan, nails...
LX learned how expensive it is.
I feel a b!tch coming on.
So skip it, if you want.
Enough with the six word sentences.
Our lives have been a living hell since she dropped the very nice Cornstalk for the Loser, who has plagued this house for just over a year and a half now. He is like a reoccurring disease that just won't go away.
Did I ever mention why I call him The Loser; I'm sure I have, but since I'm in the b!tching mood, let me reiterate. He will be 19 next month; when LX met him in 10th grade, he was repeating the grade over...for the 3rd time. Since, he has become a career high-school dropout - dropping out 4 times from 3 different schools; the last one which his mother jumped through hoops to get to accept him, he didn't even bother attending one day. He doesn't drive (probably a good thing), has no job, and shows no intention of getting one. He is the biggest manipulator I've ever met. Even his mom told me his is 'a liar, and you can't trust a d@mned thing that comes out of his mouth'. All he does all day is sit in his mother's apartment while his brother and two sisters go to school, and his single mom works to support them all. Oh yeah, and he's been in jail (juvenile detention?) for a week for breaking and entering and petty theft; I think he's finally off probation, but I'm not sure.
This is who LX can't seem to get over?! I will never, ever understand how an intelligent, talented, funny, and attractive girl who has guys tripping over themselves to even talk with her, can be attracted to such a person. Never.
Obviously the Loser has no money for prom, and his mom didn't even entertain the thought of giving him any. I told LX the same when she said they were going together over a month ago: do NOT ask me for even a dime to put toward his prom expenses.
So...while he sat on his @ss every day, she went around the neighborhood after school each day looking for odd jobs for them to both do, and had quite the line-up arranged. They did them together, and she had the people make out the checks to her so she'd be in charge of the money; even she doesn't trust him to handle it. He was fired from at least one of them because the woman didn't trust him - it was the most difficult one, which would have taken our landscape crew at least an entire day to complete; LX finished it herself in three days. On a different job, LX told the woman (our neighbor) to make out the check to him; he was supposed to get a hair-cut, and make a deposit on his tux.
My neighbor shows up at the nursery the next day, (they dug out a patio area for her, and she needed flagstone estimates), and told me something kind of weird happened that I should be aware of: he came back to the house alone, with the ripped up check, and asked her to make it out to his mother. "Why don't I just make it out to LX's mom?" neighbor says warily. "No. You need to make it out to my mom", Loser says. Apparently he has no form of I.D. and no bank account so he can't cash a check himself. He told LX his mom kept all the money, (I can't really blame her), though I suspect he spent it elsewhere.
Then we find out two weeks ago, that LX broke a MAJOR house rule, (which of course, involved the Loser). Hhmmm....take the dress, and ban her from prom? That was the initial thought, of course. Then I thought no - what does that accomplish? It does nothing but make us the bad guys, (not to mention she is so tiny the dress had to be altered enough that I couldn't return it). Instead make her responsible whether or not she went to prom.
"Sorry for ya, Dearest. You think our rules are too difficult to follow, you say you're not a child anymore, and want to be treated like an adult? Adults take responsibility for their actions. Adults don't expect mommy and daddy to pay for their entertainment. The rest of this is all on you."
The only thing we'd purchased up to that point was the dress (the biggest expense) and her shoes. Between the two of them, they still had to come up with over $500 to make this one night happen; even the limo cost split between 7 couples was $60.00 per person, and since the prom was being held in a town 30 miles from here, and neither of them drive, they had no other option to get there.
Tuesday morning, she begged and pleaded with me; they came up short, and the money for the tux was due today. "Are you insane? No. Absolutely not." She "lost all respect for me". That made me laugh, quite hysterically actually. She "hates me". That made me sad; she's never said that before. But I stood firm.
Wednesday, there was no chance of getting a tux. Only one rental place in town, and since they didn't have the money on the day it was due, it had been rented to someone else.
Thursday, they scrounged around for someone who had a suit he could borrow. Since she and I aren't talking, I don't know if they found one.
Thursday night, around 2:30am, the storm woke me up. I'm not sure if it was the thunder and lightning outside, or the storm inside LX's room. She was crying, and yelling at the Loser on the our portable house phone - he had her phone at his house; she'd given it to him so he could complete some of the final details Friday while she was at school.
Hubs cancelled her phone service the following day; we are not paying for her to have a phone, so she can give it to him.
Friday, they completed their last job, which gave them enough to pay off the balance of what they owed for the limo, and have enough money left over to at least get something cheap at the restaurant where everyone else in their party was eating.
Saturday was prom. I was working, and wouldn't be home until after they left. Hubs tied a few "emergency" ties for different guys; Loser was nowhere to be seen around the house, which was a good thing for both he and Hubs, who has had the most difficult time out of the two of us in dealing with all of this. He took pictures of LX, who he said was absolutely beautiful even without the jewelry, hair up-do, and nails that she'd had to skip because she couldn't pay for it herself. He even kissed her on the cheek and told her to have a good time, be safe, and call (obviously using one of her friend's phones) if she needed anything. A big deal this was - I don't think they've said two civil words to each other in the last couple of weeks.
It rained all day at work. I got home, wet, dirty, cold, and exhausted. The phone rang. "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom! Can you do me a solid? Please, please, please, please, please?" They were at the restaurant; prom started in a half an hour. Could I please run up to her room, grab the prom tickets that she'd forgotten, drive 30 miles, and drop them off at the hall?
You gotta be sh!tting me!!
I had a minute of inner debate. I love my daughter, and she'd worked so very hard to make this happen, I just couldn't ruin it when she'd gotten so far. I ran upstairs to get the tickets...
...and found the Loser's stuff all scattered on her floor. While Hubs downstairs was tying those "emergency" tie jobs, Loser was upstairs in our house, getting ready. While he was in the front yard, taking pictures, Loser was sneaking out the back door.
I drove the tickets to the hall. Hubs called the police who came and confiscated the bag of weed in Loser's gym bag.
I am sorry for the rant.
And this is my fresh hell.
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Post by stepper on May 6, 2012 20:18:16 GMT -6
OMG Phalon! I sorry you've been having so much trouble! What rant? I didn't hear any rants. I'm just sitting here thinking "Wow, I'm glad she trusts me enough to share all that." and then I remember; that's what friends are for!"
The Webster Dictionary says: Friendship: n. 1. The state of being friends; friendly relation, or attachment, to a person, or between persons; affection arising from mutual esteem and good will; friendliness; amity; good will. There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity.
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Post by quettalee on May 6, 2012 20:33:12 GMT -6
You know she doesn't hate you. (seems like the best six-words I could come up with)
Damn sis. There's not much I can say that's going to help here. Except...it was one of the best rants that I have ever read! I hope it helped you feel a little better.
It is a little puzzling to me why she can't let this guy go. I know, I know...you always kinda think that about the guys they choose...Summer has one that's been sniffing around her since she was waaaaay too young. He doesn't work, he's several years older & he has always used his dysfunctional family situation as an excuse to pray on Summer's good nature and generosity. Both girls had the opportunity to go to college for free using Mary's social security. Both dropped out-Hillary to get married & Summer just because--altho she swears she's going back. Anyway Summer got a stipend once she had attended classes for a couple of months. It was over $2000 & it was gone in less than two months. She can account for about a quarter of it, but this is one of the times that Loser-boy was back in the picture.
On the up-side, no drugs. I don't know, sis. That's "over the line" as far as I'm concerned. You didn't say, are you pressing charges or was he arrested? LX could've probably gotten her hair & nails done for what she paid for the weed.
OK, I know you're not looking for someone else to hijack your rant. I hope everything works out before she gets hurt or does something that will alter her future in a negative way. I just don't remember us making as bad a choices as the kids do today. And they may have more "gadgets" but I think we had just as much opportunity to make poor choices. I said "no" plenty of times...
Love & hugs, sis.
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Post by quettalee on May 6, 2012 20:37:11 GMT -6
Oops! I guess I should look up the definition for "rant". Step says, "What rant?" and I say, "Great rant!"
OK, whatever we call it, I do believe that's what we're here for...together...thru thick & thin...to the bitter end!
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Post by Mini Mia on May 6, 2012 22:40:52 GMT -6
I hope it all works out. (Really & Truly)
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Post by Phalon on May 7, 2012 4:59:32 GMT -6
Thanks guys, for letting me vent, and for your kind words and advice.
I've always shared here the highs and lows in the girls' lives, Stepper. A few of you have been here as long, or longer than I, have "known" LX since she was a little girl, and watched her grow up. And you, my friend, although I haven't known you as long, helped me through the difficult time I had after Mom died. I consider you all friends, and sharing what's going on in my life is comforting.
A little puzzling? I've racked (wrecked) my brain wondering the same thing, Sis. I've got a few theories that fit, and I think it's a combination of them all.
She's always had what I call the Puppy-Dog Syndrome. The first time she mentioned she liked this kid I asked, "Is this another puppy dog?" She smiled, and I knew. There's been the foster kid with the "psycho" mom, the kid whose mom walked out on the family and whose dad was struggling to raise him, and then before the Loser, the boy whose past was so tragic, and whose life is now so amazingly together it should be made into a movie. I'd love to tell you all his story sometime; it's truly an uplifting one. (She is still "in love" with the boy, but that's another story.)
The point is...she's going to "fix" them all, and give them something they don't have - support and stability. Even though the Loser has so many character flaws that can't be fixed, she still feels as if she can influence him. As recently as a couple of weeks ago, she said, 'if I'm not there to watch him, I think he'd be homeless or dead by now'. Scary thought, but true. She even once talked his mom into taking him back into her house after his aunt kicked him out for dropping out of school (he'd moved in with their family in another city to start fresh with a new beginning; it lasted only a month).
Teenage rebellion is a part of it - we don't like it, so she's going to do it. It's gone beyond that though, and it's due to her personality and character. Always independent from the start, she's going to do things her way and no one is going to tell her it won't work. She's never quit anything or backed down from a challenge. I think she sees this as a challenge: we don't think they should be together, her friends have told her the same, so she's going to do it just to prove everyone wrong. It's her nature, and while it's commendable in many aspects, it's extremely frustrating in this case.
I know what we should do, but it's just so hard to do it. We need to back off. The more we push, the deeper she digs in her heels. Love is not blind in this instance; she knows he'll never change; she knows she's way beyond him socially and mentally - that he is stagnant because his experiences don't go beyond a 15 year old's (the age he should have been in the 10th grade); she's outgrown him. She's told me all this. I think (hope) eventually she'll get tired of his cr@p and drop him for good, but not as long as we continue to get on her case about it. It's a d@mned difficult thing to do though, and so far we haven't managed it.
Then, of course, there's the biggie: he's the first. Sigh.
More to respond to your questions, Sis, but I've gotta run now - the household is awakening.
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Post by Mini Mia on May 7, 2012 16:29:09 GMT -6
Wish I knew how to help.
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Post by stepper on May 7, 2012 19:53:42 GMT -6
Broken water pipe yields soggy yard. The yards here were drying out again, and mine had reappearing cracks and crevasses. So, I put out the soaker hose (around the foundation), but I found an overly wet and soft spot. In case you didn’t know this, when the rest of the yard is nearly rock hard, a wet spot means problems. It was too late to start digging so working on this little problem was going to take another day. Did I mention we got rain? It was that night - actually early morning - and it was substantial. It came only after I had let the soaker hose run full blast for five or six hours the preceding evening. We needed the rain, but now the entire yard was wet. I knew approximately where the overly wet spot should be, and because of the location it had to be coming from the pipe bringing water to the house. Problem number one. Find the wet spot because this is a clue to where the real problem exists. That wasn't all that much of a problem. The wet spot was still wetter - read that as soggier - than the rest of the yard. Problem number two. Find the pipe. This is a bit more of a problem. It involves manual labor and a shovel. (It's at this point I start thinking I should have had a kid or two. Sons. Football linebacker sized kids. The kind big enough to make the Hulk think twice about doing anything. Ya know?) I got up early so it would still be cool and started digging, sort of. See, we don't have dirt. We have cliché, which is more like clay. When it's wet, it's more like lumps of glue. 'Digging' consisted of getting a half a spade full, moving over to the plastic sheet to dump the "dirt" on, and then using a small garden shovel to scrape the clay/glue off of the spade. After a few hours I get below where I expected to encounter the PVC pipe – and as tired as I was, I was thinking it might actually be possible to get to China and still not know where the stinking pipe was. (The pipes are buried deeply enough to keep them from freezing during our two weeks of winter.) Wet, heavy, clay was making this chore unpleasant – as if I liked digging for any reason and this was an exception. I really want to complain and whine about being elderly and feeble, but there’s no one to take over. Finally I decide that I’m dirty and sweaty enough to visit the hardware stores for assistance. Question – how do you find a buried pipe without digging up the entirety of your front yard? Answer from Lowes – you get lucky or you keep digging. Evidently they were not sufficiently sympathetic to my dilemma. And they may have been offended at the fact that I was pretty much a walking dirt ball. The second hardware store had a helpful idea. Purchase a metal shaft and use it as a probe to look for the pipe. Then start digging. (Sounds simple and much better than digging up all around the foundation.) Thus begins a new chapter in home maintenance. Probing the yard. This process takes a while and attracts the attention of neighbors who, having a day off, begin to hover around and discuss important things like basketball games “GO SPURS GO”, politics, current favored beers, and the cost of ammunition. I find that merely inches below where I’ve been digging something goes “thunk”. AHA! The probity probe worked! And I was close! I grab a shove and begin again with renewed hope. Out of curtsey, no one offers to take a turn at "digging". This is my show after all. The hole is getting a bit deep and I have to widen it for improved access. One neighbor from only four blocks away sagely agrees and relates how he had this same problem with a hole he dug not so long ago. I don’t turn to see who said it – which was a good decision on my part as it prevented injuries to otherwise innocent people. After several shoves full of muck, the offending thunk source is revealed – it’s a hunk of brick buried by the construction crew when the house was built. We all discuss how much debris we’ve found whilst working on our various projects. This gives me time to recuperate and is welcome chatter. Finally, having attracted every male over the age of six months who lives within seven city blocks, we have a collective thought of digging towards the house in a direction where we all agree there seems to be a little extra seepage. I will mention that at this point, I have many more tools available than I own. Not that anyone was going to help with more than discussion of the problem and offering up their assistance by bringing more digging equipment, but it seems there is a rule of which I was heretofore unaware. When neighbors – plural - bring extra tools – plural - the homeowner – singular - is expected to favor the group by actually using one of those proffered tools. Realizing my faux pas, I borrow a spade smaller than what I have been using. This serves two purposes. It somehow satisfies the group need for participation in the process, and by using the smaller implement, I will wear myself out less quickly because smaller shovel = less weight = less effort. I am pleasantly surprised to find the second shovel full yields the top of the white PVC pipe. My original hole missed it by about two inches by being too far from the foundation. And is only half a mile too deep. The revelation that the pipe has been found is met with general enthusiasm, especially since the cold sodas and beers are either empty or no longer ice cold. And with that, the crowd thins. My next door neighbor stays a bit longer and helps by hosing me down. I had used a fireman’s nozzle to blast most of the sticky goo from my skin. It stung a little but cleaned me fairly quickly with the power blast generated by the nozzle. The neighbor sprayed off what I couldn’t see – the remaining layers on the back of my arms and legs. The rest of the story is more mundane. I search out parts but am too tired to begin installation – and I’m tired of wallowing in the mud. I lay down for an afternoon power nap and awake in time to catch the last of sunset. This however, is not a setback as you might rightfully have assumed. It gave me an evening to ponder the situation and remember an additional comment from the collective before it disbursed. There’s a potential problem with one connection; if the plastic piece that fits into the copper head join leading to the house shatters instead of allowing itself to be unscrewed, then I’m screwed. The next morning I contact a newer plumbing company (lower rates) and they have an appointment opening for 10:30. I agree and meet the guy who shows up only a few minutes late – right after I change and bail out the now water filled hole and turned myself into a walking dirt ball again. He has the right tools, and the right parts which apparently I don’t. My parts would have eventually rusted out. (I believe I would be worm food before this happened but I’m not arguing. If you are going to fix something, you may as well fix it properly.) The potential shattering actually happens, but unperturbed the plumber simply fires up a torch and burns the extruding piece enough to soften it up and then he deftly pulls out the now pliable plastic threading. He tells me the trick is to not overheat the brass coupling – as if there will be a next time and I need this information. I’m hoping there won’t be a next time, but I’m thinking I need an acetylene torch just to be safe. He completed reconstruction of the area in about the time it would have taken me to get over the shock of the shattered piece, and he’s gone. All I have to do is wait for the parts to completely dry and slowly charge the system when it’s time. I allow time by going to the dentist and getting a crown buildup. The tooth is costing me five times as much as the plumbing repair. All in all, it was a fun weekend – and Monday – until I had to go to the dentist.
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Post by Mini Mia on May 7, 2012 22:45:42 GMT -6
Home owning can be quite troublesome.
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Post by stepper on May 8, 2012 19:02:34 GMT -6
And tiring - I NEEDED that nap.
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Post by scamp on May 10, 2012 2:12:54 GMT -6
Phalon, I hope you don't mind a response from a stranger. What you're going through with your daughter sounds extremely difficult. While reading your rant/not rant, several things struck me. Your daughter seems to be quite intelligent and to have more wisdom than most kids. Unlike your teen, most teenagers wouldn't even be aware of the difference between being generous and being an enabler. Your daughter is being much more cautious than most kids could be.
That your daughter does have such a generous nature is actually a sign that you and Hubs have done a good job raising her. Yes, she not mature enough to understand that sometimes losers are just losers. Personally, if I had to choose between having raised a child who is generous and one who is selfish, I'd go with generous every time.
Despite all the Sturm und Drang of the moment and all the hurtful things your daughter has said, I got the sense from what you wrote that eventually you will resolve this.
Still, I'm sorry things are tough right now.
Now if I could just think of some useful advice for my 2 year old grand-daughter-(not legally)in-law's parents -- and for me. This child is a demon: she has sent both of her parents, me, and every other relative into time out for misbehavior only she understands. I am already dreading her teenage years.
No wise words, just good wishes.
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Post by scamp on May 10, 2012 2:25:43 GMT -6
Broken water pipe yields soggy yard. Nephews are handy beasts to have. or Leaks? That’s what pros are for.
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Post by scamp on May 10, 2012 6:16:48 GMT -6
I don't mean to hijack this thread....
I need live music to live. or Will drive far for live music.
Live music is one expensive addiction! But…but… generally, it’s worth it. Mostly. Or almost mostly.
Here’s a wrap on the last 3 concerts I’ve seen. Alison Krauss, a huge disappointment. I’ve seen her in other concerts where she equaled or exceeded the energy and intensity you can hear on her CDs. This last concert felt like day old confetti. Both Alison and her band seemed to be just going through the motions. No interaction with the audience. Perhaps the entire band was just having an off night. However, I think Alison should have used an opening act which would have given her something to play against. Really glad I went for the nosebleed seats.
Aretha Franklin. More than worth the almost 500 mile drive. I honestly would have been happy if Re Re had just sung three songs. Saw her at Eastern Kentucky University, a venue that seats 2,000. Minor quibbles: Re Re, like so many artists who don’t tour much and who didn’t make their names by touring, seems remarkably unwilling to bother with such niceties as designing a decent lighting scheme and, at least at this concert, relied on the venue’s sound engineer rather than bringing her own. I talked to the guy (mostly because I wanted a copy of the set list) and when I saw his soundboard, I was appalled: I had never seen such a limited board since my days hanging at coffee-shops. The d@mned thing only had 6 trim pots, which indicates how little control the sound engineer had. The result was that bass was consistently too predominant and there was too much spot on the guitar. Major quibble: the audience was there to hear an oldies show. In fact, on the audience review page, as part of a very negative review, someone had written that Re Re “just sang what she wanted to.” Huh? How many performers sing stuff they don’t want to? And, given that Re Re has a new CD out, why would anyone assume Re Re was going to limit herself to recycling nothing but her biggest hits? Personally, I thought the concert was brilliant. The band, complete with a full horn section was hot. The drummer was one of the finest R&B/jazz drummers I’ve ever heard. The pianist and tenor sax players were gems. It was the type of tight, graceful bands ReRe’s always toured with. As for Re Re herself, OMG!! Okay, she doesn’t have the same reach in her upper register as she once did but she still has the ability to sing notes others can only dream about. As far as I am concerned, Re Re was as vibrant, full-voiced, and in complete control of her dynamics as ever. She played the piano for three songs, a nice bonus. Aretha still has the chops and can still dazzle at the piano. I’d put her on my must see list for this tour.
As my incentive to grade far too many papers and exams, I caught Bonnie Raitt right after the New Orleans Jazz festival. I first heard Raitt when she was backing Sippy Wallace (like 30+ years ago). Bonnie has a solid voice, though not one generally associated with a blues singer. She’s a decent guitar player, though I personally wish she played less slide guitar. Pretty good band, guy on the Hammond B3 was killer, a real beast (LOL). Every aspect of her show was under control: lights, sound, song mix, band. I confess that Raitt isn’t in my top 10 or even 25 list of favorites. But she put on a really fine show. Nice mix of her older and brand new stuff. Bonnie was full of energy, had an easy going, humorous stage patter. Bonnie’s best moment was her rendition of “Angel From Montgomery.” It was nothing like her recorded version or any version, I’ve heard. She slowed it way down and it was spectacular. Can’t say a single bad thing about this gig. I just wished she had done “Love Has No Pride,” which I think she owns – yes, in my mind, Bonnie even out does Marcia Ball on “Love.” Another concert I’m glad I caught.
While I was down south for Bonnie, I got my tickets for Gillian Welch: freebies in the first row of the pit. And that’s the place to be to hear her. Show is going to be just outside Memphis, maybe I’ll go to Graceland….
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Post by quettalee on May 10, 2012 20:54:47 GMT -6
What a super cool addiction, Scamp!
I've seen a wide variety of concerts over the years...Air Supply, Juice Newton, Harry Chapin, Loverboy (on my student ID in college...REO, Kansas, Lynard Skynard, Charlie Daniels, Willie Nelson, Micky Gilley, Martina McBride, Wynonna, Trisha Yearwood, Dixie Chicks, Billy Joel, Dan Fogelberg...Cher, Tina Turner, Diana Ross, Cameo, Patti Labelle, Billy Squire, Def Leppard, Ozzy, Tantric...too much local talents to remember...doesn't seem like too much compared to your list... :/
Favorite shows...Tina, Patti, Cher, Ozzy
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Post by stepper on May 11, 2012 19:18:00 GMT -6
Thunder and lightening - time to go!
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