The House Of Whoosher... ;-) -- Discussion Thread

[Joxcenia]

Please let us know what you think of The House of Whoosher story train here. Thanks.

[Phalon]

I am going to stick this comment in here, rather than in the Workshop thread, because although I've read Scrappy's last posts prior to them actually being posted in the story, and offered my opinions then, these comments now are strictly from a reader's viewpoint.

When you first asked my opinion on whether the subject of rape could be brought into the story, I had real doubts - that it could be done in such a fashion to fit into this story, on this board.
P.G. board, and I wondered if it would be too much.

I remember saying that I'd hope you deal more with the emotion following the act than the actual act itself. You did both, and when I read it the first time; to proofread it for you, it was read with a certain detachment of one checking for spelling errors and punctuation and flow.

To read it in the body of the story - literally in black and white - it became much more intense in its horrific images.

The emotion? The last lines in the first post, IMO, convey emotion better than any others in this story.

She turned toward the sunrise, dissolving as she went. Letting the breeze take her away. Begging the sun to absorb what was left.

Well done, Fair Poppet.

[Phalon]

Such a lonely thread this is. Think I’ll sit and keep it company for a few minutes.

Guru – being the hopeless romantic, love a good sob story, weeps at Hallmark commercials and certain Xena episodes type person that I am, I have to say how much I liked your last posts. Finally we get to see the person who drives Guru’s quest, and the reason behind a lot of your character’s inner turmoil. Yana.

Lots of emotion in the posts, but one passage sticks out for me as being particularly full of sentiment.

Softly he spoke, as if to nothing more than a memory, "I used to lie awake at night ... put my ear close ... and listen to you breathe. That was the most beautiful music to me."

Aside from the obvious fact that Yana must not have snored, this should be put on a Hallmark card. (I weep at those also. Rolling eyes at myself.)


One of the things I enjoy about your writing style are your three or four word phrases and sentences that punctuate a thought or drive home a point. You do that well, and actually, I can probably recite a handful of them that you have written throughout the story – which proves they do add emphasis, because shoot, I don’t believe I can recite one single sentence from memory in any post I’ve ever made.

Quite a few of them in the last two posts. A couple I really thought accentuate exceptionally well are:

She took a step closer. He considered the option of taking a step back. And she noticed.

and

But only if they were the same people they were before. An act of evil - no matter how tempting - corrupts and changes the soul. Possibly beyond recognition.

I would have just added a comma on the tail end of the preceding sentence and tacked the three words onto the end. They have a whole lot more impact though, by breaking them out by themselves.

She took another tentative step forward. Into the chill.

Into the chill. One that’ll stick in my head, I’m sure. It’s just so….chilling eerie sounding.

Take the body and run.

Ok – a four word one here. I’m sorry; I know this was not meant to be funny, but I laughed aloud when I read it. Yeah, yeah – sometimes I find amusement in the most ridiculous things, but I will probably never be able to listen to Steve Miller’s “Take the Money and Run” without substituting the word “body” for “money” again.


Very nice posts, indeed. And now I must run and find a different song to get stuck in my head.

[Scrappy Amazon]

I just wanted to say thanks for the nice comments you made about my posts.

[TamiZ]

I have to admit that it took a lot of urging from Scrappy to get me to finally read Whoosher. I'm glad that I took the time. At first, as all round-robins are, the story was slow, like a child learning how to walk. I would read and urge myself to keep reading, because Scaps promised me I'd not regret it. She was right. By page 7 or so, I was thoroughly engrossed and thinking about it at work or on the way home from work. It was the second thing I opened after my email.

All of the writers are doing a fabulous job. I especially like Phalon's imagery, Guru's agony, Joxcee's neuroses, and the tender romance between Dixie and Scrappy. Thank you all for drawing me in. Now, I'm going to read the mumbo jumbo stuff and try to erase the image of Guru wearing Ghostbusters gear ; )

Tami

[guru]

Oddly enough, that's how he was originally envisioned ... until I started typing. Look left -- that's him.

Welcome to our little corner of Whoosh ... which actually spans 8 time zones, I think.

[Scrappy Amazon]

Well all!!! I hear we have another fan!

Hi fan! Please encourage her to read more often, though not so often that her little boy gets lost in the shuffle! Hey! I think he's in the sand box again.....

And Kat? You still out there?

[Scrappy Amazon]

Transcript of recent conversation with one of our fans....My part is in italics since I don't know how to do that quote by thingie....

You still our only fan? How far are you now?

I doubt I'm your only fan, I'm sure lots read it.
About the end of page twelve I've finished to, so I'm not far behind you guys now.

Whew...dang I guess we must write faster then. What do you think so far. Not fishing for a compliment...looking for an honest assesment.

Well I think the writing's just getting better and better, some of it is really top notch stuff.
Must admit I get a bit confused as to what's going on at times, but that may be because I read some then leave it for a while, instead of reading straight through.

It's a minor complaint though, and probably more down to me then you guys.

Hmmm....so tell me. What is it you are having trouble with. Cause I think I can speak for everyone when I say sometimes we get wrapped up and forget not everyone is privy to the behind the scenes meetings and discussions.

Mainly just the number of characters past and present, sometimes forget who is really who in a past life, or exactly what relationship they may have with another character.
Perhaps if I checked in on your inner meetings I'd have a clearer picture.

Hmm.....well..maybe we should post a time line....I did have a visual aide at one point of the geneaology...but when the switch happened it disappeared...not sure how to get it back actually. Would it be helpful to the readers if we bards got together and posted a list of characters with some kind of descriptions of relationships maybe?

Reckon it would be helpful to this dummy, but you guys have enough to do without worrying about that ........
unless you'd really like to

It's a good idea. We hate it when we confuse people.

Now I didn't say you confuse "people", just me, and that hardly counts, seeing as how I get confused very easily.

So you don't think maybe a time line is needed? Cause like I said...we get all wrapped up in the story and forget sometimes that no one out there can read our minds.

A description of relationships, as you suggested, and perhaps some sort of time line, would be helpful, but as I said, it seems like a fair bit of work.

[Scrappy Amazon]

So what do you think all? A timeline to help the confusion?

[Phalon]

A timeline of the whole story and each character's place in it, might be a bit tedious and a big job to tackle.

Perhaps if each writer wrote a brief history of their own character, with references to any names, places and time periods pertaining to that particular character mentioned in the story, it'd be less of a time consuming task?

Put it as an update the character descriptions? They were written way, way back in the beginning, and I believe the characters got much more three-dimensional as the story progressed.

Or maybe a new 'character timeline' thread is in order.

Unless of course, someone is willing to take on the whole thing herself? Scrappy?

[TamiZ]

She is the Mistress of Multitasking... but some of these characters, at least outside of the immediate story, have timelines that stretch back a wee bit. And as I was saying to Scraps earlier today/yesterday... we're only on day 2 or 3 at the house. I figure if we were to stay here a month (as indicated by the initial invite), we'd be geriatric bards by the time it concludes... that is a longgggg timeline... (I'm having fun teasing the M.o.M.)

[moonglum]

This is a lonely thread!

Just thought I would stop by and thank you all, for your efforts in the past. If you hadn't put in all that work, I couldn't have enjoyed myself so much as a reader and, finally, taken the plunge as a scribbler.

Cheers and beers.

MG

[Mini Mia]

You're welcome, moomglum. We're glad to know the story has drawn in others besides ourselves. And you prove it's never too late to join the party.

[moonglum]

Yeah but it's lonely MM, god it's lonely. 16 months!
Lonely, it's positively destitute. If the God of Loneliness, on a particularly quiet day, were to get dragged out of bed and hauled before this thread he'd probably say; "Where is everybody then?"

Then again, perhaps it's just me!

MG

[vox]

Loving Ragwolf's escapades, but let's not lose sight of Jason pleeeeeese! just what is Ragwolf's secret?


I'd also like to ask what has happened to the rest of them in the house, are they all in limbo?

[vox]

It makes fantastic reading but you could be introducing too many characters, which could make the story too hard to keep up with! tho I love the hermit! Can't wait for the next bit!

[Mini Mia]

vox said:

I'd also like to ask what has happened to the rest of them in the house, are they all in limbo?

It would seem that we're all frozen in time.

[vox]

Ooooh! I hope you all thaw out soon MM!

[Phalon]

Hiya, Vox! I'm enjoying Ragwolf's story too...it's my favorite so far out of all the strange and mysterious of Jason's horde. I do have to admit, even with the character descriptions that Moonglum posted, I still get confused as to who is who.

Phalon's thawing.....somewhat. I've had a post started for weeks, just a sentence here and there, and fragments of conversation that I somehow need to tie together.

It starts off where Jason last left off.....I think. He's on his way to the dining room, yes? And Eren? She's walking with him physically, or just coming along in spirit? And Minerva - is she coming too, or staying outside to keep the gargoyles....oops, gargoyle company? I keep meaning to ask.

As I kept meaning post a reply to your Lost and Found poem. I read the discussion thread the other day when Vox posted in it, and was surprised I never did. Or maybe I did in the Whoosher discussion thread; the poem reminded me of Jason's story. Heck, I can't remember if I did, or didn't....but I liked it.

[Scrappy Amazon]

Pssst....vox? I think your very kind boy left something for me I'd like to pass on to you....ENJOY!

"Click Me"

[Scrappy Amazon]

Ok..that looks downright gross in those colors.....

[Scrappy Amazon]

Since it worked so well last time....Hey Vox! DUCK!!!!

"Click Me"

[Phalon]

It's been so long, it took me a while to find this, and I'm not sure this is even the right place, or even if there is a place; Joxie's link in her last post in this thread took me to archived threads.

Anyway...Moonglum, I've read the last handful of posts you've been putting up these last couple of days. Great stuff, right down to the tiniest details (using "mph" for example, since the story takes place in the U.S. - did we ever figure how where exactly?)

I'm going to have to go back to the point where the house imploded, and start from there - though I've enjoyed reading your recent posts, I'm completely lost as to what's going on, and don't recognize the characters (except for Jason and Aphemenie, of course).

And how is Vox doing?

[Mini Mia]

Phalon: This discussion is on the Reader's board, but you're a reader as well as writer, so I don't think it makes a difference. The bards are supposed to comment here:

whooshorg.proboards.com/board/107/bards-tavern

I moved my post with the link that went to Runboard, which is why you couldn't post there. I haven't gotten around to fixing all the links that go to Runboard Whoosh yet.

Moonglum is reposting his posts from Runboard to here. Here's why:

whooshorg.proboards.com/thread/7318/house-whoosher-merry-land-reopen

He hasn't finished moving them all over here just yet. He has several pages to repost.

[moonglum]

Nov 19, 2016 7:25:53 GMT -6 Phalon said:

It's been so long, it took me a while to find this, and I'm not sure this is even the right place, or even if there is a place; Joxie's link in her last post in this thread took me to archived threads.

Anyway...Moonglum, I've read the last handful of posts you've been putting up these last couple of days. Great stuff, right down to the tiniest details (using "mph" for example, since the story takes place in the U.S. - did we ever figure how where exactly?)

I'm going to have to go back to the point where the house imploded, and start from there - though I've enjoyed reading your recent posts, I'm completely lost as to what's going on, and don't recognize the characters (except for Jason and Aphemenie, of course).

And how is Vox doing?

Nice to speak to you again Phalon. Vox is doing well, she gets a bit forgetful at times but then, don't we all. The two cockers are 3 and 3 and a half now and are a great comfort to her while i'm at work.
Glad you are enjoying the posts. Yes, I do tend to populate my stories with lots of characters. I really should reign that in abit. Anyways there are acouple more posts on there now, hope you like them.

[Phalon]

Please give Vox a big hug from me, and pats on the heads to the cockers.

[moonglum]

Will do, Vox says thanks and hi to you all. She has a new laptop and I've yet to put this link on for her.
I am now up to date, all posts have been transferred from Runboards. On re-reading them I've made acouple of slight edits.

[Phalon]

Oh, please do put the link on Vox's laptop. I would love to just chit-chat with her.

Looks like I've got some reading to do!

[Phalon]

Moonglum! I've finally had a chance to catch up (actually I skimmed back quite a bit in the original story, and had a few laughs in the process - dang, we sat at that table for years!).

Great new beginning to the old story - very engaging, and I love what you've written. Some chilling stuff in there: the thumbs to the eyeballs death of poor John the Trucker was just ghastly, and the woman-thing who did it, horrifying creature; then there was Jason's death, and Sister Victoria isn't quite the godly nun she appears to be, is she?

I also love that you brought Eurayle into this and kept her true to character.

Looking forward to your next installment.

[moonglum]

Dec 13, 2016 23:28:06 GMT -6 Phalon said:

Moonglum! I've finally had a chance to catch up (actually I skimmed back quite a bit in the original story, and had a few laughs in the process - dang, we sat at that table for years!).

Great new beginning to the old story - very engaging, and I love what you've written. Some chilling stuff in there: the thumbs to the eyeballs death of poor John the Trucker was just ghastly, and the woman-thing who did it, horrifying creature; then there was Jason's death, and Sister Victoria isn't quite the godly nun she appears to be, is she?

I also love that you brought Eurayle into this and kept her true to character.

Looking forward to your next installment.

Thank you, your wordliness. I must admit that I grew tired of JK a little bit and decided to kill him off. Then, you know when you are tidying up, and the other half says, "Do you want this rubbish or shall I throw it away?", and in a weak moment you say, "Oh throw it away!" Well, I missed him and the more I thought about it, the more I wished I could have done it differently. So I thought a bit more and, I did done it differently.
I have in my own way been trying to steer the story back towards the house but, each time I get near or even think about that damned dining room door I freeze. I think I'm scared that there's all those people and yet no-one behind it.