|
Post by Mini Mia on Oct 11, 2013 21:53:26 GMT -6
I'm going to blame my lack of seeing the pun on a fried brain from the upgrade. Yeah. That works for me.
|
|
|
Post by stepper on Oct 11, 2013 22:03:05 GMT -6
The movie Alien was promoted with the line "In space no one can hear you scream."
|
|
|
Post by Mini Mia on Oct 11, 2013 22:29:14 GMT -6
Oh. Sorry. Yeah I got it. That's why the was used. I loved that movie and should have got that right off. I was doing as Phalon suggested, but I was including the 'milk' sentence, and it just didn't compute.
|
|
|
Post by stepper on Oct 11, 2013 22:32:43 GMT -6
LOL! Anyone wanting to know what we're talking about is going to have to go back several posts.
|
|
|
Post by Mini Mia on Oct 11, 2013 22:37:20 GMT -6
Make them work for it.
|
|
|
Post by Spock on Oct 14, 2013 13:49:15 GMT -6
Aaaarrrrggghhhhh! That was bad! What's not bad (at least from my point of view) is that I'm now able to login and annoy others again.
|
|
|
Post by stepper on Oct 14, 2013 14:56:32 GMT -6
Welcome back!
|
|
|
Post by stepper on Nov 16, 2013 1:22:47 GMT -6
~ I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
~ When chemists die, they barium.
~ Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
~ I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid; he says he can stop any time.
~ How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
~ I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
~ This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
~ I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
~ I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
~ They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
~ PMS jokes aren't funny; period.
|
|
|
Post by Phalon on Nov 16, 2013 7:52:30 GMT -6
HA! How can anyone not love puns.
|
|
|
Post by stepper on Dec 28, 2013 18:51:54 GMT -6
I just bought a film with 3.142 stars out of 5.
It was a pi rated DVD.
|
|
|
Post by stepper on Jun 26, 2014 18:08:36 GMT -6
I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
I know a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray. Now he's a seasoned veteran.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .
This dyslexic man walks into a bra.
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
Velcro - what a rip off!
|
|
|
Post by stepper on Jul 25, 2014 20:54:59 GMT -6
"Waiter! It's all wet under my soup. The bowl must be cracked."
"Sir. It's vegetable soup. Maybe it has a leek in it."
|
|
|
Post by Spock on Jul 27, 2014 17:10:51 GMT -6
I was reading a book about anti-gravity the other day. I just couldn't put it down!
|
|
|
Post by stepper on Jul 27, 2014 17:42:29 GMT -6
I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Okay - this isn't a pun but it's still funny.
Trying to register for an on-line account with the government.
You must enter a password to proceed.
" -roses "
Sorry, too few characters.
-pretty roses
"Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character."
-1 pretty rose
"Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces."
-1prettyrose
"Sorry, you must use at least 10 different characters."
-1friggingprettyrose
"Sorry, you must use at least one upper case character."
-1FRIGGINGprettyrose
"Sorry, you cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively."
-1FriggingPrettyRose
"Sorry, you must use no fewer than 20 total characters."
-1FriggingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessRightFriggingingNow!
"Sorry, you cannot use punctuation."
-1FriggingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessRightFriggingNow
"Sorry, that password is already taken."
|
|
|
Post by stepper on Oct 19, 2014 15:48:28 GMT -6
Did you hear about the philanthropic seer? She left her body to séance.
|
|
|
Post by Phalon on Oct 20, 2014 5:56:18 GMT -6
Big on philanthropy she may have been, but she was short in stature. And a felon. (Dang, I'm working hard to make this one fit).
Soooo...
When she escaped from prison, she was a small medium at large.
Shameful, shameful...first that I stole it, second that I repeated it.
|
|
|
Post by Spock on Oct 20, 2014 6:32:23 GMT -6
Not sure philanthropy fits all that well ...
How about, "What were the headlines after a midget fortuneteller escaped from jail?"
Small medium at large
|
|
|
Post by stepper on Oct 20, 2014 19:56:26 GMT -6
There once was an Indian who had only one testicle so his given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone... After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, 'If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!' The word got around and Nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman Named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.' He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her until Blue Bird died from exhaustion. The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until A woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.' Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, all night, all the next day, and all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die! Why???
{OH, come on...think about it!!!}Everyone knows that you can't kill Two Birds with One Stone!!!
|
|
|
Post by Phalon on Oct 20, 2014 21:20:04 GMT -6
It does if she was a small medium at large who was a philanthropic seer who left her body to séance.
|
|
|
Post by stepper on Oct 20, 2014 21:53:03 GMT -6
I'm sorry, but I see no future for this pun.
|
|
|
Post by Phalon on Oct 20, 2014 21:53:58 GMT -6
HA! And Goodnight. It's late and anything I could think of to respond with would be worse now than any response I could come up with during the light of day.
|
|
|
Post by Spock on Oct 21, 2014 7:47:05 GMT -6
Hmm, only one stone but two birds?
|
|
|
Post by stepper on Oct 21, 2014 15:18:21 GMT -6
He wasn’t up to the challenge.
|
|
|
Post by stepper on Nov 6, 2014 17:31:59 GMT -6
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.... Venison for dinner again? Oh deer! Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes. They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me. When chemists die, apparently they barium. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? When you get a bladder infection you know urine trouble.
and ...
1. She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still. 2. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 3. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 4. Two silk worms had a race, they ended up in a tie.
|
|
|
Post by stepper on Nov 18, 2014 16:56:24 GMT -6
A happily married man had only one complaint, his wife was always nursing sick birds. One November evening, he came home to find a raven with a splint on its beak sitting in his favorite chair. On the dining room table there was an illegal ill eagle pecking at an aspirin, while in the kitchen his wife was comforting a shivering little wren that she found in the snow.
The furious spouse strode over to where his wife was toweling down the cold little bird. "I can't take it anymore! We've got to get rid of all of these darn ..."
The wife held up her hand to cut him off in mid-curse. "Please Dear," she said, "Not in front of the chilled wren."
|
|
|
Post by scamp on Dec 2, 2014 21:32:44 GMT -6
Never trust atoms, they make up everything.
|
|
|
Post by Phalon on Dec 6, 2014 8:02:54 GMT -6
That's why you have to keep your ion them continuously!
|
|
|
Post by stepper on Dec 7, 2014 17:58:20 GMT -6
Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
|
|
|
Post by scamp on Dec 8, 2014 0:09:18 GMT -6
That's why you have to keep your ion them continuously! ROTFL I suppose that's why you have to keep your ion the prize?
|
|
|
Post by stepper on Jun 5, 2015 22:05:36 GMT -6
These two strings walk up to a bar. The first string walks in and
orders and the bartender throws him out and yells "I don't serve strings in this bar!"
The other string ruffs himself up on the street and curls up and orders.
The bartender shouts, Hey, didn't you hear what I told your buddy?"
String says "Yeah."
Bartender says, "Aren't you a string?"
String says, "No, I'm a frayed knot."
|
|